Mall Fight!

[Pm0n3y]

After seeing SirBS kill himself, i decide that it's time to window shop, seeing that the show was over. Suddenly two figures appear in front of me. One of them grabs the dual lancers that SirBS used to kill himself with. The other figure walks up to me. he looks sorta familiar...

"Ren? The hell happened to you?" I say, recognizing the fiery hooded figure.

"It's a long story. Bottom line: SirBS's ghostly sister is gonna make her way back into the mall, and we're gonna make a final stand against her. Wanna help?" Ren asks

"Aw, what the hell, it beats doing what i was about to do." I say pulling my two short swords out of their holsters.

"Wait, wait!" SirBS's ghost says, running over to the intercom, and putting epic battle music [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TovqogviVU] into a cd player.

"It can't be a epic battle without epic battle music*!"

[sub]*Warning, the following epic battle song may be too epic for those with weak hearts or for those without a sense of humor.[/sub]

 

[Sam G]

"I bring life," says Bryghtside's hot sister (who still doesn't have a name; what's up with that?), pointing at the air and spawning me back from death.
"Wha!? I'm alive?" I say, surprised.
"Yep. Turns out I have the power to decide who lives and who dies. Awesome, huh?" She explains.
"Yeah, that is pretty cool!" I say, re-equipping my golf clubs and staple guns. "So, it's gonna be a while before Bryghtside, Phil and the rest arrive... Wanna make out?"
"Do I?!" She exclaims. So we do.

 

[Sam G]

"Why, nonsense!" I yell, holding both my golf clubs in one hand and aiming my staple gun at the heroes with the other (all the while hastily buttoning up my shirt). "LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!! [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zg0N3kCzywM]"

 

[Baby Eater]

*robot hits a chair and trips.blue screen of death* damnit apple!

 

[Sam G]

"You can take me, eh?" I ask, my eyes glowing a wicked shade of red. I swing my golf clubs at Bryghtside's chest, then his feet, tripping him over. "You never were a good swordsman," I say, shooting him in the leg with a staple.

 

[Baby Eater]

*gets robot up and shoots lasers at sam*

 

[Pm0n3y]

After seeing SirBS trip and fall, i rush at Sam with my two short swords. The sight of Sam getting hit with Baby-Eater's lasers made me think that he would be an easy target, but to my surprise he runs toward me with his golf clubs. Sparks fly as we fight, metal clashing against metal. The sight was an epic one, as everyone stopped fighting to look at the light show, Ooh-ing and Aah-ing at every hit, as if they were watching 4th of July fireworks.

 

[Baby Eater]

ooh.....ahhh

*sits robot on bench sending whoever else is on it into the ceiling*

 

[Ren3004]

Sir's sister sees me and flies right at me.

"This time, I'll kill you for good!", she says.

But when she touches me, nothing happens. I take off my hood.

"It... can't be..."

The lights flicker and die... I grab the soul's neck.

"Yes, you foolish girl. I'm afraid it can..."

Sir's sister starts glowing.

"You will spend all eternity in suffering!"

The light fills the corridor... windows shatter, and the trees wither and die. Then, it's over... Sir's sister has disappeared. She can no longer come back.

Sam looks at me and tries to hit me with a golf club, but I dodge him easily and burn him with hellfire.

"It's over."

Sir looks up at me and says

"Thank you."

With a nod, I heal Sir's leg, and then disappear from sight, returning to my throne in Hell. Me and Sir's sister have a score to settle.

 

[Code Monkey]

Waking up from my daily map in the mall supplies closet, I notice a brawl going on. Stretching, I take a look around for potential weapons. Seeing nothing but a mop and an unconscious man, I decide to get a little more creative. I take the pillowcase off of my pillow and start filling it with:
1: The man's shoes
2: My own shoes
3: The mans clothes
4: The top of the mop


Using the pillowcase, some duck-tape and the stick from the mop, I construct some kind of Hobo bag of death, and charge out of the closet, screaming made up sware words. It comes to my atention that nobody is around. Frowning, I move on to find someone to fight.

 

[Ren3004]

Spoiler

"I'm sorry," I say, grabbing a fire extinguisher.

And hitting him with it.

Repeatedly.

Best.Post.Ever.

Tired of torturing Sir's sister in Hell, I decide to go back to the mall in my human form.

 

[Ren3004]

I grab a hammer from the hardware store, and start bashing people's skulls with it.

 

[Sam G]

I respawn with no recollection of Bryghtside's hot ghost sister, or indeed any of the events from the last couple of pages, so I sit on a bench and ponder what's been happening over the last few days.

 

[Ren3004]

Unfortunately, sam's pondering in interrupted by a hammer blow to the head.

 

[Sam G]

That hammer blow brings my memories rushing back to me. I recall Ren's treachery, and decide to avenge Bryghtside's hot ghost sister with stapler-induced justice.

(cue kick-ass revenge music [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2sKH8yjVsM&feature=related])

 

[Ren3004]

I deflect the staples with my hammer, hitting sam's hippocampus and making him lose his memory again. Then I crush his ribcage with my hammer.

 

[Sam G]

[small]Isn't a hippocampus a winged horse?[/small]

"Ren, you swine! First you kill my best friend, and now my pegasus? This is unforgivable!" I put my thumb in my mouth and blow, re-inflating my chest, and then kick Ren into a bookshelf, causing it to topple over on top of him.

 

[Ren3004]

[sub]It's a part of the limbic system of the brain that is related to memory.[/sub]


Sam falls over and dies, as a result of having ignored his brain damage.

 

[Ren3004]

I dodge Sir's shots and throw the hammer at the robot, hitting a conveniently exposed weak spot and deactivating it.

"I'm tired of these motherfucking robots in this motherfucking mall!"

 

[FairlyFrightenedFeline]

I slowly walk in. "Sup dudes? You know the demo games in the game store have the whole game? I just completed Arkham Asylum!"

Then without realising i received a truncheon impaling my back and I die, Sir standing behind me.