Mall Fight!

[Ren3004]

Spoiler

I kill Ren for his stupidity, and rip Cougar's lightsaber from his hands, welding it together with mine to create a Darth Maul-esque one, stabbing Cougar with it.

Now, why don't I try using my powers for good?

I remember something about a regular on this place who got sent to hell!

I should free them!

Who's bringing Star Wars back now?

Anyway, I respawn back in the supermarket and get an idea.


I get some petrol and use it to revive the Giant Cheese Monster. Jumping on its back, I go out to look for Sir. Not even THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM can beat me now.

 

[Ren3004]

"Fool. You cannot escape from ME!"

I go to Hell. Once I get there, the GCM melts away. Doesn't matter, I'm in my element now.

I finally find Sir looking at his sister.

"Stop it, Sir. You don't want to take her place"

 

[FairlyFrightenedFeline]

"Scorch? Scorch? Do you read me?"
"Loud and clear Boss."
"Listen, I think Sir just made a jump to Hell, and I can't get there, I want you to hold position while I find a way in"
"Okay, have fun on your holiday!"
"Shut up"

 

[FairlyFrightenedFeline]

"REN!!!!!!REN!!! HOW CAN I GET TO HELL? WHERE ARE YOU?!"
I slump on the floor, feeling rendundant.

 

[Ren3004]

Suddenly the floor cracks and flames come into the mall. Sister emerges from the floor, soon followed by me.

 

[FairlyFrightenedFeline]

"Okay, wasn't expecting that.....Hey Ren! Is Sir's sister back?"

 

[GuiltBlade]

Looking up from his gorging "did you hear a copyright infringement just now?".

Collecting his gear he waves his fair wells to the people currently not trying to kill him and heads off in search of the sound of clashing impossibilities.

 

[Baby Eater]

"guilt you want to run away. fast" *jumps on a motorcycle and drives to the other end of the (according to OP, endless)mall*

 

[GuiltBlade]

Now in sight of the glow-stick waving siblings, Guilt approaches with caution, getting in close behind them both.
Taking advantage of their moment of distraction, he stabs through them both mid Hi five with FrostFire.
"Energy vs mass, I'll take mass anyday," he says while wiping the blood off his hands.

 

[Baby Eater]

*watching guilt through binoculars* "It's your funeral and my entertainment"

 

[Sam G]

I probably respawn, but I'm not sure if I died recently... Anyway, for whatever reason, I'm now in a Starbucks watching Sister and Bryghtside/Chell fighting Cougar, Guilt and Ren.
"Heh... Can anyone say "Sam Sandwich"?" I mutter to myself, glancing at the girls.

 

[Baby Eater]

*watches chell and sam* ohhh dear lord toast O_O LAAAAAWWWWWRRREEENCE! give me your eyes mine just burnt out

 

[SteakHeart]

I spawn into the Starbuck's after about two weeks in Purgatory. I see what Sam, Chell, and Sister are doing. "Lucky," I mutter, walking off to the bookstore for something to pass the time.

 

[Baby Eater]

Spoiler

she's a hot ghost she's not as creepy as a technical transvestite and you

 

[Baby Eater]

Spoiler

even more disturbing that your enjoying it and the fact that somewhere there is chell porn

*walks far far away*

 

[SteakHeart]

I respawn in the tank store, which was mentioned a few pages ago, and order a Scarab and a team of 50 L4D tanks. The hot chick at the counter tells me to wait a few seconds. After a little while, a Scarab and my team of Tanks crash through the window. The woman then asks me if I would like to have sex with her in the Scarab, to which I agree without hesitaion.

 

[Baby Eater]

*swimming in the mall fountain*

 

[Sam G]

I take a break from having sex with Chell and Sister to go and urinate in the mall fountain.

 

[Baby Eater]

*stabs sam in the crotch when he goes near the fountain*

 

[SteakHeart]

After finishing up with the chick from the Tank Store, I drive the Scarab (guarded by my Tanks) down to the Starbucks to kill Sam. Seeing as he isn't there, I ask Chell and Sister if they want to join me and the Tank Store chick. They agree. Shit happens. Pretty sure Chell got an STD. Good times.