Mall Fight!

[Baby Eater]

*respawns and tranquilizes sam by shooting him in the nuts

repeatedly*

 

[Ren3004]

I follow the sound of tranquilizers being shot and hold EMB's neck until he passes out. Then I take of his camouflage suit and hide it.

 

[Pm0n3y]

I respawn in a seemingly empty store, this time i'm back to normal and weaponless. I sigh, then go off to window shop.

 

[Sam G]

I jump through one of the windows in the window shop, tackling Pm0n3y in the process. Then I pick up some broken glass off the ground and throw it like knives at him.

 

[Pm0n3y]

Quickly respawning, i run out of my spawn point.

"What the hell was that?!" i say

 

[Ren3004]

While everyone else in the mall was distracted, I had run over to the electronics store and disassembled a DVD to make a laser weapon.

"Eat laser!"

 

[therealsomeguy]

Meanwhile i am still hiding in a dumpster outside the electronics store and as Ren walks out with his laser i throw a banana peel in front of him, jump out and beat him to death with a discarded coke bottle, i then take his laser and hide in a new dumpster

 

[Ren3004]

I respawn in the supermarket, improvise a hand grenade using coke and mentos, and go after therealsomeguy.

 

[therealsomeguy]

I use the laser to cut some leg holes in the dumpster and walk into the electronis store, while in there i use 2 DVD players and a lightbulb to create a disk launcher capable of launcing Miley Cyrus albums at 200km/h, i then use this to cut Rens head off before looking for my next victim
3 kills 0 deaths

 

[Ren3004]

I drop the grenade, CoD4 style, blowing therealsomeguy (henceforth referred to as "Guy"] up.

 

[Ren3004]

I take cover behind a display stand in the music shop, grab one of the oranges from the floor, and eat it, increasing my resistance against the common cold.

 

[FairlyFrightenedFeline]

I throw Dr Octogonapus in between Ren and Sir, which he then does a 360 LAZOR wiping them both out.

 

[Ren3004]

I duck, avoiding the 360 LAZOR.


Then I throw oranges at Dr Octogonapus until it falls over dead.

 

[FairlyFrightenedFeline]

Since Dr. Octo [small]Shortened, yay[/small] is a pokemon now I call him back then leap on Ren like a Jockey from L4D2.

Spoiler: Also..

Has anyone played that yet? The demo is frickin awesome!

 

[Ren3004]

I manage to throw Cougar away from me, then pick my own pokeball.

"Blastoise, I choose you!"

The pokeball falls to the floor, revealing a tiny plastic Blastoise.


Cougar starts laughing at me, and eventually suffocates.

"Funny, isn't it?"

 

[Sam G]

I respawn behind Ren, grab him and throw him into the air. Then I pull out my 2 staple guns (henceforth known as "blacky" and "whitey") and aim them at Ren.
"Time to go to work, guys."
I fill him full of metal filings.

 

[FairlyFrightenedFeline]

The last thing Sam hears is "Gentlemen" before a cold kitchen knife is driven into his back and I walk over his body.

 

[Ren3004]

I brace myself for the fall, but instead, I fly through the air, until I reach a giant magnet.

"Damn, who put this magnet here?", I say.

A familiar figure appears next to me.

"Hmmm... you're not who I was hoping to catch.", he says.

 

[FairlyFrightenedFeline]

I walk through the mall whistling, looking for someone to kill.

 

[Pm0n3y]

I casually stroll into a toy store, looking for a weapon. I stumb into the pokemon isle. I figure "hell since everyone else is playing with pokemon, why not i?"
suddenly a purple and white ball with an M on it cacthes my eye.

"Holy Shit! A Master Ball!" i exclaim

But what's inside it? The moment of truth arrives. I throw the ball down. It explodes open. My eyes widen in amazment.

"It's...IT'S.... A Arceus!!!"

he bends his massive head down to me.

"My name is Arceus, and you are but a mere mortal. How dare you awaken me from my slumber?"