Maybe not the right place to ask but..

[Bat Vader]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

May I ask you an intimate question? Who's a bigger pussy, you or your friend?

Define "Pussy"

Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational.

That sounds more like being shy. Who really needs to be popular? After high school it is the geeks, gamers, and nerds that go places and build businesses. Pacifism is a rare trait found in men these days.

Ummm... no. Being "Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational." is never a good thing.

To the OP: If that's you I say let it go. The odds are he or neither of you will get the girl and you might also loose a friend. If you're not a pussy, go for it.

I think losing a friend is worse than gaining a girlfriend. Then again if he does make a move on her you will know he was not a true friend. This is why I don't trust anybody except myself.

 

[la-le-lu-li-lo]

Forget about it. Time is an important factor; if you don't strike when the metal is hot, you've lost your chance.

Goddamnit man, that's the thing, I have no way to contact her, and she recently broke up with a previous boyfriend. And guess who is there to comfort her? Not me that's for damn sure.

Nice Bones reference, but I'm female. And more than that, comforting = best way to get into friends zone. That is a very slippery slope with a VERY small window of opportunity.

i personally don't date people unless i'm friends with them first. or at least, so far i haven't.

 

[Bat Vader]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

May I ask you an intimate question? Who's a bigger pussy, you or your friend?

Define "Pussy"

Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational.

That sounds more like being shy. Who really needs to be popular? After high school it is the geeks, gamers, and nerds that go places and build businesses. Pacifism is a rare trait found in men these days.

Sure you can make a shit load of money being intelligent and unassertive, you can labor away for 12 hours a day everyday being an engineer for $90,000 a year. That is however all you can expect out of like like that. To really get anywhere, and reliably get anywhere you still gotta be the jerk, the aggressive type A personality.

Sure there are the Bill Gates of the world, but that is one man in a sea of Type A asshats that are running everything else. Including those genius "shy" men you are talking about.

There is a difference between unassertive and shy. I don't talk to women that much but I won't stand for being picked on or being passed over for a promotion. Besides if I am making $90,000 a year who needs women when you have money.

Also, one man can make a difference. Obama is pretty much a pacifist and he won over Mccain who was a jerk and an asshat.

 

[Bat Vader]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

May I ask you an intimate question? Who's a bigger pussy, you or your friend?

Define "Pussy"

Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational.

That sounds more like being shy. Who really needs to be popular? After high school it is the geeks, gamers, and nerds that go places and build businesses. Pacifism is a rare trait found in men these days.

Ummm... no. Being "Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational." is never a good thing.

To the OP: If that's you I say let it go. The odds are he or neither of you will get the girl and you might also loose a friend. If you're not a pussy, go for it.

I think losing a friend is worse than gaining a girlfriend. Then again if he does make a move on her you will know he was not a true friend. This is why I don't trust anybody except myself.

You shouldn't even trust yourself.

I don't most of the time.

 

[AngloDoom]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

May I ask you an intimate question? Who's a bigger pussy, you or your friend?

Define "Pussy"

Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational.

That sounds more like being shy. Who really needs to be popular? After high school it is the geeks, gamers, and nerds that go places and build businesses. Pacifism is a rare trait found in men these days.

Sure you can make a shit load of money being intelligent and unassertive, you can labor away for 12 hours a day everyday being an engineer for $90,000 a year. That is however all you can expect out of like like that. To really get anywhere, and reliably get anywhere you still gotta be the jerk, the aggressive type A personality.

Sure there are the Bill Gates of the world, but that is one man in a sea of Type A asshats that are running everything else. Including those genius "shy" men you are talking about.

You are equating getting sex or getting a partner as the only thing worth while in life. More than that, your theories on how societies and how individuals hook up is dreadfully out of date. Type B personalities are far more likely to have sustained marriages, to have stronger commitments, etc etc, than type A.

In the long run, Type B's get more tail than Type A's, simply by outlasting them.
Don't let your experiences color the whole world for you.

This.


A good example would be my current girlfriend. She likes the somewhat cocky, macho, and confident types. (I'll later elaborate on just how wrong it is she is going out with me.) She had this guy who constantly flirted with her when she was around sixteen. The guy was cocky in bucketloads and did things like challenge her to an arm-wrestling contest, but refuse to move her hand to the desk, and stopped her from overpowering him, basically forcing them to hold hands for a good five minutes while he smiled innocently.

This guy was typical in every way, lifts weights and everything, and he pretty much always got the girl he wanted. Then, he would dump them for the next person. He never got my girlfriend, however, because she simply said "Despite the attraction, I don't trust someone like that. It's attractive, it's sexy, confidence is sexy, but we all knew he was an asshole."

Yes, you'll get more sex being an asshole. You'll get more women lusting after you, in general. However, you'll either be a prick who devalues women, or your relationship is based off of being a badass. You'll never ever be able to share your feelings, and thus your relationship is doomed to fail, most likely through one of you cheating.

Again, points made in a general stereotypical way, but I don't believe it makes it at all invalid.

 

[Ben Legend]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

I've been in your position twice now, with the same friend, and both times we've decided our friendship is worth more than a girl, no matter how nice they are.

Forget about it. Time is an important factor; if you don't strike when the metal is hot, you've lost your chance.

I do hope your not implying we attack her with a burning sword....

I jest.

And why would I imply that? Obviously, the sword is not burning, but simply heated to incandescence. Much easier to hold and more effective.

Strike = Attack
Metal = A type of weapon, I imagine a sword
Hot = Burning magic sword, by the way, kudos if you can do that.


I don't know why you would imply that, i added 2 + 2 and got 31453

 

[PureBredGentleman]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

May I ask you an intimate question? Who's a bigger pussy, you or your friend?

Define "Pussy"

Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational.

That sounds more like being shy. Who really needs to be popular? After high school it is the geeks, gamers, and nerds that go places and build businesses. Pacifism is a rare trait found in men these days.

Ummm... no. Being "Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational." is never a good thing.

To the OP: If that's you I say let it go. The odds are he or neither of you will get the girl and you might also loose a friend. If you're not a pussy, go for it.

I think losing a friend is worse than gaining a girlfriend. Then again if he does make a move on her you will know he was not a true friend. This is why I don't trust anybody except myself.

I don't know, me and this friend have been pretty close, we even joke about the situation sometimes, but there is a point I suppose that if you really were good friends, you would drop the whole thing and just say (sorry if offensive, it just fits with the topic) "Bro's before Ho's" But I talked to some other friends about it, and apparently it's not the first time that my friend has done this.

 

[la-le-lu-li-lo]

There is a difference between being a friend and being STUCK a friend.

yes, and the difference is chemistry.
and if it's not there, it's not there.

can't really change that.

 

[shadowstriker86]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

....really? ok, as probably stated by most people already, just do it. Trust me, 1 chick is not worth losing sleep over, BELIEVE ME! Ive been with 14 chicks in my 23 years on this planet (serious relationships not just 1 night stands) and let me tell you, even if you dont get with this one chick, forget about her and move on, but always remember to utilize your nuts and make the attempt to at least ask her out.

 

[asinann]

And next time you see the girl you should confess that the two of you like her and let her know that it's her choice and you're not gonna be immature and fight about it.

And let her play with both their emotions like a harpy? No. You'll just give her ammunition to play you off against each other.Who knows what she'll have you doing...*shudder*

That is so stereotypical. Most women I know in that situation wouldn't do that. You cannot justify that statement as an average case, only as a worst case.

Odd, almost every woman I know would. They wouldn't ADMIT they would do it, but they would.
It makes them feel all warm and fuzzy knowing they have 2 guys on a string.

 

[PureBredGentleman]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

....really? ok, as probably stated by most people already, just do it. Trust me, 1 chick is not worth losing sleep over, BELIEVE ME! Ive been with 14 chicks in my 23 years on this planet (serious relationships not just 1 night stands) and let me tell you, even if you dont get with this one chick, forget about her and move on, but always remember to utilize your nuts and make the attempt to at least ask her out.

You: 14 chicks.

Me: 1 chick.

I've had my heart bashed into a nice confetti too many times to let this slip. Imagine we are fishermen, fishing in a river of fish. You have already caught 14 fish today, I have caught zero. Of course it would be easier for YOU to rest easy and call it a night because at least you have the comfort that you have caught some fish and that youa re capable of catching more. I got a snag, and I'm not going out without a fight.

 

[PureBredGentleman]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

May I ask you an intimate question? Who's a bigger pussy, you or your friend?

Define "Pussy"

Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational.

That sounds more like being shy. Who really needs to be popular? After high school it is the geeks, gamers, and nerds that go places and build businesses. Pacifism is a rare trait found in men these days.

Sure you can make a shit load of money being intelligent and unassertive, you can labor away for 12 hours a day everyday being an engineer for $90,000 a year. That is however all you can expect out of like like that. To really get anywhere, and reliably get anywhere you still gotta be the jerk, the aggressive type A personality.

Sure there are the Bill Gates of the world, but that is one man in a sea of Type A asshats that are running everything else. Including those genius "shy" men you are talking about.

You are equating getting sex or getting a partner as the only thing worth while in life. More than that, your theories on how societies and how individuals hook up is dreadfully out of date. Type B personalities are far more likely to have sustained marriages, to have stronger commitments, etc etc, than type A.

In the long run, Type B's get more tail than Type A's, simply by outlasting them.
Don't let your experiences color the whole world for you.

This.


A good example would be my current girlfriend. She likes the somewhat cocky, macho, and confident types. (I'll later elaborate on just how wrong it is she is going out with me.) She had this guy who constantly flirted with her when she was around sixteen. The guy was cocky in bucket loads and did things like challenge her to an arm-wrestling contest, but refuse to move her hand to the desk, and stopped her from overpowering him, basically forcing them to hold hands for a good five minutes while he smiled innocently.

This guy was typical in every way, lifts weights and everything, and he pretty much always got the girl he wanted. Then, he would dump them for the next person. He never got my girlfriend, however, because she simply said "Despite the attraction, I don't trust someone like that. It's attractive, it's sexy, confidence is sexy, but we all knew he was an asshole."

Yes, you'll get more sex being an asshole. You'll get more women lusting after you, in general. However, you'll either be a prick who devalues women, or your relationship is based off of being a badass. You'll never ever be able to share your feelings, and thus your relationship is doomed to fail, most likely through one of you cheating.

Again, points made in a general stereotypical way, but I don't believe it makes it at all invalid.

Funny you say that, guess I know this man whore that knows EVER girl in the school, and they all adore him despite his perverted nature and cocky attitude. I have never seen him dedicate himself to just one woman.

 

[Bat Vader]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

May I ask you an intimate question? Who's a bigger pussy, you or your friend?

Define "Pussy"

Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational.

That sounds more like being shy. Who really needs to be popular? After high school it is the geeks, gamers, and nerds that go places and build businesses. Pacifism is a rare trait found in men these days.

Ummm... no. Being "Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational." is never a good thing.

To the OP: If that's you I say let it go. The odds are he or neither of you will get the girl and you might also loose a friend. If you're not a pussy, go for it.

I think losing a friend is worse than gaining a girlfriend. Then again if he does make a move on her you will know he was not a true friend. This is why I don't trust anybody except myself.

I don't know, me and this friend have been pretty close, we even joke about the situation sometimes, but there is a point I suppose that if you really were good friends, you would drop the whole thing and just say (sorry if offensive, it just fits with the topic) "Bro's before Ho's" But I talked to some other friends about it, and apparently it's not the first time that my friend has done this.

I guess wait and see. If he does make a move he is a bad friend. Also, is there a reason you like this woman?

 

[manaman]

snip.

You are equating getting sex or getting a partner as the only thing worth while in life. More than that, your theories on how societies and how individuals hook up is dreadfully out of date. Type B personalities are far more likely to have sustained marriages, to have stronger commitments, etc etc, than type A.

In the long run, Type B's get more tail than Type A's, simply by outlasting them.
Don't let your experiences color the whole world for you.

I never mentioned sex, hook up, partners, or even what was worthwhile in life in my post. That post was only a bit about how the real world works in a buisness place.

Since you decided to bring up sex here goes.

Genetically women are predisposed for the most part to look for the overbearing, overconfident, leader type to produce children with. Now being rational thinking individuals most people realize this is just a biological imperative and simply ignore it picking the wiser, saner, more stable choice. Many do not, many do not care. You are deluding your self if you really think women are not more attracted to confident, assertive men. I hear the same from women "a sense of humor is really important," "I want someone nice," "looks/size is not everything." Well you know what? They just lied for the most part. These girls are not lusting over pictures of Bill Gates in their porn.

There is a reason the term "friend zone" came about. The guys that you describe more often then not stick around to witness the girl enter many horrible relationships all the while waiting for the breakup to "make their move" then chicken out when the moment comes and telling themselves bullshit like "It was not a good time for it, she was really hurt."

This is getting really long. I have a lot to say on this. But trust me people are people and no matter what they like to say the biological factors driving people, that has been determined much of our behavior did not suddenly up and run away during the last generation.

No matter how much you wanted it to.

I blame romantic comedies for putting these kind of crazy thoughts in people's heads.

Now to the original poster:

Sorry for taking this a bit off topic. However it should bring up a legitimate worry. This girl may have no interest in either you or your friend. I would have to wonder how much experience you have with women and if you are able to tell if there is any sort of interest in you aside from being a friend. By the way this interest will not suddenly develop. Either there was something there to build on, or you missed your shot by hiding behind some talkative friend in the group.

Also confession or none, if you like this girl then the relationship between you two is going to get weird. She may ignore it and continue to use you as a shoulder to cry on, or may stop hanging around you because she cannot stand how you stare at her all the time when you think she does not notice. Yeah I have heard complaints from girls about the rabid army of guys that are in love with them, the complaints usually fall into one of the two categories.

This guy was typical in every way, lifts weights and everything, and he pretty much always got the girl he wanted. Then, he would dump them for the next person. He never got my girlfriend, however, because she simply said "Despite the attraction, I don't trust someone like that. It's attractive, it's sexy, confidence is sexy, but we all knew he was an asshole."

You guys are continuing to confuse being confident, assertive, and aggressive (some describe as being a jerk) with being stupid, macho, and overconfident. Those are traits of someone who is lacking in some way and trying to make up for it by overcompensating.

 

[manaman]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

May I ask you an intimate question? Who's a bigger pussy, you or your friend?

Define "Pussy"

Lacking social skills, unassertive, unpopular, hesitant to engage in conversations with ladies, unconfrontational.

That sounds more like being shy. Who really needs to be popular? After high school it is the geeks, gamers, and nerds that go places and build businesses. Pacifism is a rare trait found in men these days.

Sure you can make a shit load of money being intelligent and unassertive, you can labor away for 12 hours a day everyday being an engineer for $90,000 a year. That is however all you can expect out of like like that. To really get anywhere, and reliably get anywhere you still gotta be the jerk, the aggressive type A personality.

Sure there are the Bill Gates of the world, but that is one man in a sea of Type A asshats that are running everything else. Including those genius "shy" men you are talking about.

There is a difference between unassertive and shy. I don't talk to women that much but I won't stand for being picked on or being passed over for a promotion. Besides if I am making $90,000 a year who needs women when you have money.

Also, one man can make a difference. Obama is pretty much a pacifist and he won over Mccain who was a jerk and an asshat.

Obama is confident and assertive. He is also a charismatic speaker with prepared speech. Your choice of example did more to prove my point then your own.

It is true that there is a difference between being unassertive and being shy. Shy pertains more to social interaction. However I generalize because they tend to go hand and hand.

As for not needing women when you make 90k a year. That is not really a lot of money. Beside a real relationship is worth a lot more then a hundred one night stands. Truly finding someone you can spend the rest of your life with is a very special thing.