Most idiotic thing a person has said or asked you

[SharPhoe]

Me: Name four different Metallica songs.

Guy: Master of Puppets, One, Enter Sandman..... uh...

Those werew the first two to come to mind for me, too. Then again, I also know No Leaf Clover, so I would've named three.

Before you go off on me, Tabor, I want you to know that I'm not the type of guy who follows ANY band very much. I really just listen to whatever interests me. It takes a lot to get me to actually start following a band.

 

[zoob123]

X-box live: I don't care if you beat me (can't remember the score) You will never amount to me cause I'm and OG 'Original gamer'... long pause... then me: whats the shape of Italy? Him: Being better than you.
Real life: My ex-girlfriend who doesnt eat anything living said my mom who was a teacher "I don't eat meat cause those used to be animals... so I eat only plants cause they're not alive." My Mom "and you'd be wrong because plants are breathing, living, and even have reproduction sytems so..." Her: "O no... I can't eat vegetables and now I'm gonna starve to death!!!"... What I never got from that is the fact she was a straight A student.

 

[CircuitDruid]

'Why do you read books?"

gah I can't think of anymore, I'll get back to this later if I do

Oh thats a classic. I love saying "Because, unfortunately, I cant eat them or drink them"

.... god I have to remember that. mind if I use it?

 

[Sacman]

My cousin told me that Darth Vaders voice makes her wet when we were watching StarWars Episode 4...

 

[zoob123]

My cousin told me that Darth Vaders voice makes her wet when we were watching StarWars Episode 4...

O dear.. Wanna kno something weird that's my favorite episode/movie thingy

 

[Sacman]

My cousin told me that Darth Vaders voice makes her wet when we were watching StarWars Episode 4...

O dear.. Wanna kno something weird that's my favorite episode/movie thingy

sure y not...

 

[Trilby_V]

'Why do you read books?"

gah I can't think of anymore, I'll get back to this later if I do

Oh thats a classic. I love saying "Because, unfortunately, I cant eat them or drink them"

.... god I have to remember that. mind if I use it?

Go right ahead

 

[brainfreeze215]

While I can't immediately think of any stupid questions that have been asked of me, I can remember a stupid question I once asked. I did of course immediately realize what I had said incorrectly, but not in time to stop myself from asking, while putting the drawers back into a bureau, "Which way goes up?"

 

[Leorex]

there was girl in my science class who once asked if a human and a horse could have sex.

she didnt want to know if they could have kids. she wantend to know if they could have sex.

and the creapy thing was that she was a horse rider.

 

[Maileigh]

I used to work in a Fabric/Crafts/Silk Floral store.
One time this man comes up to me and asks: "Where's your Produce department?"
I couldn't even fathom the words at that point, all that came out of me was an "..umm..?"

A friend also told me of a funny little anecdote.
He mentioned in his blog that he and his fedora were headed to the zoo.
His ex girlfriend commented back with "So who is this Fedora?"
When he told me, my brain nearly exploded!

 

[Schizzy]

Calling the Microsoft Support hotline...

"... Did you try turning it off and turn it back on?"

The fact that they really ask me that hopeless question makes me want to shove a keyboard up the guy's ass, right next to his head.

That's not really an idiotic question when you think about how many computer illiterates are out there. Is some cases, it's a legitimate fix.


Okay, here's one. I get calls like this every month from different people:
Caller: Is this Mr Wong?
Me: No, you've got the wrong number.
Caller: Can I speak to Mr Wong then?


I wouldn't say this one's so much idiotic rather than just silly:
Me: I was just eavesdropping on his the other day...
My wife: Don't you mean ears-drop?
Me: *insert jaw drop here*
Mind you, she's not stupid. It's just that her grasp of the language isn't that strong.


A joke we always bring up about my mum's brush with the police after she made an illegal U-turn(there was even a sign there):
Police: Ma'am. You made an illegal turn.
Mom: But my friend says its legal!


A friend of mine, was waiting in her car in a parking lot, when she was hit by a bike. She got down to look at the damage when the biker said:
"You gonna pay for damages to my bike?"

 

[Sneaky Paladin]

X-box live: I don't care if you beat me (can't remember the score) You will never amount to me cause I'm and OG 'Original gamer'... long pause... then me: whats the shape of Italy? Him: Being better than you.

I think he is retarded. what is the shape of italy: answer being better then you....that makes NO sense whatsoever

 

[Lord RPGs]

"Are you two best friends?", they ask, to myself and the chap who I hang out with mainly/my best friend.

I reply "No, we hate each other."

Also, not said to me, but "That's good with two O's."

 

[eelel]

for me it isn't so much said as do one time i was at work and this old lady tried to return chocolate she found in the back of her fridge i eventualy had to get my maneger to deal with it and the kicker is is that godiva had not caried that type of chocolate in over 5 years

 

[saxist01]

Customer: Do you have any CLR? (drain cleaner)
Me: Yes, it's over here in aisle 12.
Customer: Do you have anything that's more . . . organic?
Me: No, it's a poison, it's nothing but chemicals.

 

[Roamin11]

"Homosexuality is like global warming... It doesn?t exist"
I think I have won

 

[Zealot_Guy]

"Why do you draw those little Kirby things all the time?"

Because I want to, good sir. I don't see why I would need any other reason.

ooooh I hate 'what are you drawing'

my answer; 'Its a radioactive dinosaur devouring the flesh of the living'
'you sure? it looks kind of like a kitten playing with a butterfly...'
'yes I'm sure, why the hell are you askin me its so obvious'

once I was just drawing a random dude and I had someone convinced it was a chickenduck. god I had some stupid classmates.

My girlfriend would say "It is a snufflupagus and it are eat you now GO AWAY!!!"

 

[Darkwolf9]

Okay I'm just making this because people at my school have been asking me very stupid things here's an example that happens every single day.

Why do you like books so much?

I normally just say why don't you and normally the answer is: Their boring and I'd rather be talking in class then reading.

I just really hate it when people ask you something stupid that really should not be asked or said.

anything you guys have heard from people like this?

So I'm sitting in my college geography class here in the states looking over some info prior to a test. The test was about where to you find certain minerals around the world. This girl behind me obviously hadn't studied or opened her book. For that matter I'm not sure she had ever looked at a map. She asked two of the dumbest questions I had ever heard in my college career and that says a lot. She asked where China is only after asking where Canada is. I can understand not knowing exactly where some obscure tiny country is, but not a two major countries. Especially considering one of them is our northern boarder.

 

[TaborMallory]

Me: Name four different Metallica songs.

Guy: Master of Puppets, One, Enter Sandman..... uh...

Those werew the first two to come to mind for me, too. Then again, I also know No Leaf Clover, so I would've named three.

Before you go off on me, Tabor, I want you to know that I'm not the type of guy who follows ANY band very much. I really just listen to whatever interests me. It takes a lot to get me to actually start following a band.

This is the sort of attitude I'm looking for. All too often I'll hear some poser raving about how much he/she loves a band, but knows nothing whatsoever about them. It makes me want to slap their face and announce pistols at dawn.


Also, you totally miscounted.

EDIT:
Wooters, 1337th post.

 

[El Taco the Rogue]

"Are you gay, would you fuck me, you look hot, wanna compare sizes, fuck you dawg" and tons of other asinine comments fucktards at school say.

...And all of these were directed at you?

Pretty much yeah, except the dawg one, that was just random shit I heard in the halls. Of course most were sarcastic, but fucking stupid nonetheless.

Most people wouldnt ask 'are you gay', they just call you gay lol