Most useless item in a game?

[Jekken6]

Once you use a key in a Elder Scrolls game, they become pretty useless.

Also, the dildo in GTA: Vice City, I'd rather slash people with a machete.

I liked how Fallout 3 sorted keys into a keyring, so they didn't clutter your inventory.

And I thought the dildo in the police station shower in San Andreas was fucking hilarious. The bouquet of flowers in SA were more useless, but still funny.

 

[GamingAwesome1]

Time for an obscure one.

In the japan only game "Game Center CX 2", inside another game called "Guadia Quest Saga" you get an item called "Sophia's Charm" it does fuck all to anything, you can't drop it or sell it. You get it as part of the plot and can't do bugger all with it and it doesn't affect the plot from that point onwards.

Also in the game you can get "Guadias" these are like Pokemon, they fight for you. One is a statue of the hero from the first Guadia Quest IN the first Game Center CX (known as Retro Game Challenge in the US) it does nothing, it does not attack, it does not evolve into something super awesome like it suggests it will, it's just there to trick people.

I'm willing to bet that no-one here has ever played the second Game Center CX (Retro Game Challenge 2)

 

[Just Joe]

The "Freeze" plasmid in Bioshock. Freezng enemies means that they don't drop loot, and in any case you can freeze them with the Chemical Sprayer if you really need to. Waste of ADAM.

Also, the "Max Revive" from basically all of the Pokemon games. It revives a Pokemon AND heals it completely, which sounds very useful... except you can only get three per game, which means that no-one ever uses them.

 

[epsilon246]

The submachinegun in Resident Evil 4.

Are you kidding? I love the SMG in RE4. Get the stock, upgrade it get, 200-300 bullets and then it's game time!

I always preferred an upgraded shotgun and the occasional mine dart

Mine dart? dude i didn't bother with that until after I had the infinet launcer and the typewritter, and due to it's ammo shortage it's fairly useless. The smg is excellent early on in the game aswell, shoot em in the face deck 'em slash 'em, and the amount of ammo it has makes it realy good at this.

 

[ethaninja]

The submachinegun in Resident Evil 4.

Are you kidding? I love the SMG in RE4. Get the stock, upgrade it get, 200-300 bullets and then it's game time!

I always preferred an upgraded shotgun and the occasional mine dart

Shotguns are always useful for zombie situations =)

 

[Scrythe]

I believe in one of the Silent Hill games you pick up a hair.

A fucking hair!

What happens if you drop it? You're totally fucked!

 

[epsilon246]

The submachinegun in Resident Evil 4.

Are you kidding? I love the SMG in RE4. Get the stock, upgrade it get, 200-300 bullets and then it's game time!

I always preferred an upgraded shotgun and the occasional mine dart

Now the mine darts! they were pointless, i'm on my 5th play through & only used them a few times.

As far as functionality is concerned, I really can't disagree with you too much (you're making me miss this game, btw). The mine darts haven't exactly saved my ass more than once and that was after I'd run out of just about all my other weapons (the first nonstop ambush inside the castle where you have to protect Ashley while she's turning those, erm, levers). They are, however, an absolute blast to use. There's an area you can sneak up on, I believe just before the mine, where a bunch of Ganados are standing around a campfire doing absolutely nothing. Nothing like connecting the scope and firing a mine dart into the head of one of those guys, running up to the fire and seeing them all quickly die.

Or you can just throw a grenade and save some money.

 

[HitsWithStyxx]

The jade hair ornament in Demon's Souls.

What the hell is that for?

You can trade it in with Thomas for a ring. Can't remember what it does though. Or you can trade it to The Crow.

The Crow?

Damn, Ninja'd.
Good call, by the way.

I would have to say the lump of your own brain from the Fallout 3 DLC.

 

[Danistuta]

XBOX 360 Achievements

 

[Urgh76]

the pipe in the SAW videogame

 

[Fraught]

The Search Bar in The Escapist: Website Edition.

I thought that people were already over that.

 

[TBR]

Someone a few pages ago didn't really understand what I was talking about, so let me clarify a bit.

By Bioshock2 and MW2 being useless, they qualify because they both are included on a game disc, in a game box, and you play them (or will soon, in Bioshock 2's case). I am referring to ALL the content on said disc. Yes, I consider a multiplayer Bioshock version to be useless. It will not add to the narrative significantly (it can't) and it also won't add to the gameplay either. MW2 is useless in that it's just a worse version of COD4 with better graphics.


Really, if I'm getting complaints because I say a graphical upgrade doesn't make up for significant drops in every other area and then calling it useless, well then...I guess I better go enjoy some games that actually deserve a place through superior game design and innovation, as usual.

Anyway, what else is useless? Achievements in the star wars game that can't be achieved because you brought the game now and you need to wait a few months before the new release of it comes out with the levels that count towards said achievements.

 

[Lullabye]

The mother fuckin replica weapons in Oblivion. The first time i saw a glass weapon it was locked away in a very hard locked case, so i spent the next twenty minutes/lockpicks trying to get it out only to find that it broke on the first hit. fuckin replica's.......

 

[Amethyst Wind]

Currency in western rpgs. I've never had to buy anything in any of these games since it's all vendor trash, the drops you get off enemies or find in treasure chests are always better (and free).

About the only time I've needed money was in Mass Effect to buy a religious permit for 150 credits, and you start with about 3000, so that doesn't count.

 

[Mistermixmaster]

Blast Shield in Modern Warfare 2?

Most things have their uses and there is always a situation where they are needed.

Any time I found one I kept it with me until the end of the level. Loved em myself. Pretty well god mode with them.

Hiphophippo, I think you're referring to the Riot Shield, the Blast Shield is in multiplayer only. And it's almost useless. You take less explosive damage at the cost of loosing radar, getting a tunnel vision and muffled sounds from your surroundings. Oh, and it replaces grenade/semtex etc...

OT: The half eaten hamburger or cheeseburger in Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon. It didn't do anything at all, and since you had infinite inventory slots it just was there for no good reason...

Oh, and sniper rifles in Mirror's Edge, untill I discovered that the 'F' button allows you to use the scope.

 

[funguy2121]

The submachinegun in Resident Evil 4.

Are you kidding? I love the SMG in RE4. Get the stock, upgrade it get, 200-300 bullets and then it's game time!

I always preferred an upgraded shotgun and the occasional mine dart

Now the mine darts! they were pointless, i'm on my 5th play through & only used them a few times.

As far as functionality is concerned, I really can't disagree with you too much (you're making me miss this game, btw). The mine darts haven't exactly saved my ass more than once and that was after I'd run out of just about all my other weapons (the first nonstop ambush inside the castle where you have to protect Ashley while she's turning those, erm, levers). They are, however, an absolute blast to use. There's an area you can sneak up on, I believe just before the mine, where a bunch of Ganados are standing around a campfire doing absolutely nothing. Nothing like connecting the scope and firing a mine dart into the head of one of those guys, running up to the fire and seeing them all quickly die.

Or you can just throw a grenade and save some money.

Money's for yuppie bitches! I want to have fun in life! At that point I'd thrown dozens of grenades!

 

[seventy7l]

The almighty Fork of Horripulation!(or however it is spelt)

 

[Dusty Donuts]

The Miss-Launcher in Fallout 3. It's a missile launcher where the missiles fall to the ground and then explode after a delay. Seriously, how are you going to use that in a proper combat situation! You could say get it over an enemy's defenses, but A: they generally have no defenses, and B: there are plenty of grenades to do that for us.
Oh, and for future reference, Ears in Diablo 2 are used to help others know that they have killed 'X' Person.