Most useless superpower to have?

[ejb626]

The ability to be impervious to someone trying to beat you to death with a fish, all other weapons have an effect but if someone wants to *****-slap you with a trout they'll have a hard time doing it, so go out and bring down the drug selling gangs that frequently fight with dead fish.

 

[Chicago Ted]

Nipples that pick up radio waves.

Doesn't Kryten say he can do that in one episode of red dwarf.

Never heard of the show. It was just off the top of my head.

 

[Dark assassin for hire]

the ability to see the color red.
the ability to eat a hamburger.
the ability to think of stupid abillities and put them on a website.
the ability to listen... wait no. thats useful.
the ability to fall a asleep at bedtime
the ability to not stop talking about abilities.
the ability to push the pointless button that doesn't do anything.
the ability to read about other abilities someone posted on the internet on a website.
the ability to blink.
the ability to say that everything I said is not really an ability... and your wrong.
the ability to talk about abilities you read on a website about abilities to a guy with special abilities and performing an ability of your own... like blinking.
the ability to write "the ability to" ten times.
the ability to have a disablity... like not being able to blink
the ability to lose and adiance.
the ability to lose five minutes and an audience and spell audience wrong the first time you spelt it.

 

[lucky_sharm]

I don't know about you, but that would be pretty damn useful for being stealthy.

 

[The 11th Plauge]

the ability to eat dirt.

 

[MEEBO17]

The ability to change to stone...but only when your swimming....and you can never change back...

 

[MEEBO17]

lol, i love the asdf movies

 

[Da Joz]

The ability to be attractive to only fat chicks.

 

[whatdoyouthink]

the ability to forget the ability to remember

 

[Splyth]

y'know I don't think there is a truly useless superpower. it's all situational. and me I'd be the dude that would keep my power a secret. until, when they least expect it, BLAM a sack of potatoes hits them square in the head.

 

[CNKFan]

Probably Aquamans powers. That stuff is useless against the thugs on the streets... Or a villain on ground.

Gah like three people are saying this every page of this thread.

Spoiler: Am I seriously the only person who's seen this picture? Give Aquaman a little credit.

One day he'll be on the couch just wanting to watch the Olympics or whatever and batman will push him to far... Bam that happens.

Cthulhu is not a sea-mosnster. He is one of the Great Old Ones who was sleeping in a the city of R'lyeh that later sunk. He is a monster that was drug underneath the sea. OT: The ability to be super strong only when I am super naked. God I love Action League Now!

 

[DragonChi]

The Ability to create a TPS report
The Ability to turn yourself into the Microsoft Word Paper Clip Helper
The Ability to dirty your laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer.
The Ability to pick someone Else's nose.
The Ability to Make Vista even worse than it is.
The Ability to make everyone hate you forever permanently
The Ability to disable the Ability to do just that.
The Ability to cause yourself to poop your pants nonstop.
The Ability to blow your nose into a kleenex on command
The Ability to destroy the one thing you love the most (and if that happens to be YOU, then that's even MORE useless)
The Ability to come up with the best idea ever conceived and then instantly lose all knowledge of it and never being able to think it up again.
The Ability to say and do everything that you only are already able to do, in the worst imaginable, and otherwise be impossible, way.
The Ability to give someone else the Ability to not be able write this Ability
The Ability to never be able to finish your
The Ability to only be able to use the word "bum" to speak to people.

 

[Noone From Nowhere]

If one is creative enough, there would be (nearly) no such thing as a 'useless super power'. Take for example the power to change the color of inanimate objects with your mind. That would be immensely useful to artists in a number of fields or even the military(free camo!).

Going back in time by one second could help one correct a minor mistake or avoid a clear and present danger by less of a narrow margin, perhaps losing a few hairs rather than a whole limb if the power can not be used multiple times in succession, going back one second into the past of the last second traveled back to and so forth until you get back as far as you need to go.

Even the power to duplicate/steal other super powers in a world where only you have super powers leaves you prepared in the event that someone else does gain super powers. Now that is being crazy prepared!

The power to auto-detonate is a way to go out with a bang plus, if the power can be replicated through cloning, one can make an army of suicide bombers.

Come to think of it, the only super powers that would be truly useless are the ones that one can not easily detect the functional status of such as the ability to multiply any object times one (as opposed to the near god-like ability to divide any object by zero)or to gain 1% air permeability. Still, super powers are extras and who doesn't like bonus features (even if it is just advertisements for more products)?

 

[MattZero]

Probably Aquamans powers. That stuff is useless against the thugs on the streets... Or a villain on ground.

Gah like three people are saying this every page of this thread.

Spoiler: Am I seriously the only person who's seen this picture? Give Aquaman a little credit.

One day he'll be on the couch just wanting to watch the Olympics or whatever and batman will push him to far... Bam that happens.

Cthulhu is not a sea-mosnster. He is one of the Great Old Ones who was sleeping in a the city of R'lyeh that later sunk. He is a monster that was drug underneath the sea. OT: The ability to be super strong only when I am super naked. God I love Action League Now!

Damn thwarted by my inability to pay attention to lovecraftian lore. I take random internet pictures at face value. I always assumed Cthulhu was linked to the ocean somehow.

 

[Flunk]

Immortality... but not un-ending youth. You'd just get older and older and older...*


*This is from ancient Greek myth but it holds up really well.

 

[CincoDeMayo]

I don't know about you, but that would be pretty damn useful for being stealthy.

Given the situation this is from, I'd have to say it's pretty damn useless.


At 0.50 and on for a few.

 

[nerdsamwich]

The power to see things in inverted colours. Seriously, a cookie for anyone who can think of an actual use for it.

You'd be surprised at the nearly invisible details that jump right out at you when you look at them in an inverted color scheme. It might also help you navigate in the dark. I'll take an oatmeal-raisin.
OT: Mr. Insensitive: The Man who Feels No Pain! (Unfortunately, that's his only power.)
The Pharmacist: Has the Ability to Dispense Exactly the Desired Amount of Medication from a Bottle!
The Graphite Avenger: Can Draw Little Comic Strips About Things That Piss Him Off!

 

[Noone From Nowhere]

As for the people who list AquaMan's power to communcate with ocean life as being useless:
1. Most of the planet's surface is covered with water and filled with life. Sure, it isn't useful against armed land bound crooks but a gun isn't useful on the ocean floor, either. On most of the planet's surface, he is king.
2. Sea snakes and crustaceans count as aquatic lifeforms. Again, not useful in open combat unaugmented, but it would be enough for the odd untraceable assassination and corpse disposal.
3.He could create a monopoly on fishing rights with his control of fish all over the globe.
Resturants like Red Lobster and Long John Silver would be completely at his mercy!
4. He could make a good living training animals at Sea World. Job security would be a secondary super power.
Ignoring the fact that his control of whales and giant squids would make him an absolute terror to Navies everywhere, those four alone prove that his power is far from useless. It's not useful for super heroing, but that's the fault of comicbook writers at the time trying to shoehorn every creative special ability into the context of men in spandex punching each other.
To take a stab at a useless super power-
The ability to create portals that lead back to the point that one enters them from.

 

[Noone From Nowhere]

The power to see things in inverted colours. Seriously, a cookie for anyone who can think of an actual use for it.

You'd be surprised at the nearly invisible details that jump right out at you when you look at them in an inverted color scheme. It might also help you navigate in the dark. I'll take an oatmeal-raisin.
OT: Mr. Insensitive: The Man who Feels No Pain! (Unfortunately, that's his only power.)
The Pharmacist: Has the Ability to Dispense Exactly the Desired Amount of Medication from a Bottle!
The Graphite Avenger: Can Draw Little Comic Strips About Things That Piss Him Off!

Wasn't Dark Man's power his complete insensitivity to pain? (The mask thing was all razzle dazzle gadgetry like Bat-Man's utility belt)It would also be useful to pugilists and other people who can benefit from absolute pain tolerance (like women giving birth). You didn't say that Mr. Insensitive can't feel pleasure!
The Pharmacist's power could be a real everyday life saver. No more deaths cause by over/underdosing again!
If the last one is a super power, it's one of the most common super powers on the internet.

Another useless power? The passive/uncontrolable ability to feel the opposite emotion or physical sensation of anyone that one comes into contact with. Could any romantic relationship survive such a thing?

 

[zehydra]

the ability to incase yourself in a block of ice, and not be able to get out, or unfreeze yourself.