Most useless superpower to have?

[maninahat]

The ability to see through windows.

My favourite so far.

The ability to taste the difference between Bordeaux and Claret wines.

 

[Scrythe]

I'll quote Dave Attell here:

I was struck by lightning one time. Anybody ever get struck by lightning? Or as I like to call it 'God's drive by shooting'. You're just walking out of a gay bookstore minding your own business and all of a sudden, KAFLOOIE! A lot of people think if you get struck by lightning you will get magic powers. Like the ability to read minds or shoot lightning from your hands. Not me. I got the ability to shake on the ground and shit my pants. Will I use these powers for good or for evil? Stay tuned...

 

[jubosu]

The power to turn kyle into a chicken

 

[Hileo20]

Almost every useless power put into one name: Aquaman

Yeah cause breathing underwater is totally useless. Super-strength, not gonna do any good with that.

Sarcasm about an absolute after I used the phrase "almost every"... I don't think that works. Yes, breathing underwater is useful. No, he doesn't have super strength, he is just underwater, think about it. And talking to fish doesn't work if they don't care to obey. He just gets lucky on the show lol anyway, its a joke, if you really like him so much that's fine, but realize it's just a joke.

 

[Sux2bu]

How-about the ability to tele-port into any sun in the universe.
Or the ability to spontaneously combust at will.
Or the ability to generate a tactical nuclear strike onto your face 24/7
Or the ability to die at will
Or the ability to...go on escapistmagazine.com and write stupid shit like this hmmmm....
I HAVS SUPUR PAWAUGHZ

 

[krseyffert]

The ability to melt... but not to re-solidify.

 

[YawehG]

Almost every useless power put into one name: Aquaman

Yeah cause breathing underwater is totally useless. Super-strength, not gonna do any good with that.

Sarcasm about an absolute after I used the phrase "almost every"... I don't think that works. Yes, breathing underwater is useful. No, he doesn't have super strength, he is just underwater, think about it. And talking to fish doesn't work if they don't care to obey. He just gets lucky on the show lol anyway, its a joke, if you really like him so much that's fine, but realize it's just a joke.

He's got limited super strength, he's not superman or anything, but stronger than a regular person. And I know it's a joke, it's just like the tenth aquaman joke on this thread. Tired of them. Nothing personal

 

[Hileo20]

The ability to plug yourself into any electric socket at will...

Not to recharge energy or anything... You'd still get electrocuted.

I have that power as long as I hold a fork

 

[Mr. Gency]

The ability to talk anyone into sleeping with you, oh and you don't have sex, you literally just take them to your place walk to bed and go to sleep.

 

[Mr. Gency]

The ability to see through windows.

That's not as useless as it sounds. What if the window is dirty or one-way.

 

[Hileo20]

Almost every useless power put into one name: Aquaman

Yeah cause breathing underwater is totally useless. Super-strength, not gonna do any good with that.

Sarcasm about an absolute after I used the phrase "almost every"... I don't think that works. Yes, breathing underwater is useful. No, he doesn't have super strength, he is just underwater, think about it. And talking to fish doesn't work if they don't care to obey. He just gets lucky on the show lol anyway, its a joke, if you really like him so much that's fine, but realize it's just a joke.

He's got limited super strength, he's not superman or anything, but stronger than a regular person. And I know it's a joke, it's just like the tenth aquaman joke on this thread. Tired of them. Nothing personal

Understood, no worries. It is an old and overused joke, but I just couldn't think of anything.

 

[YawehG]

The ability to talk anyone into sleeping with you, oh and you don't have sex, you literally just take them to your place walk to bed and go to sleep.

useful if you're a hostage negotiator, and need to get the hostage taker out of wherever they're hiding.

 

[Hileo20]

The ability to talk anyone into sleeping with you, oh and you don't have sex, you literally just take them to your place walk to bed and go to sleep.

You could use that to kidnap world leaders... so not entirely useless.

 

[niglett]

ability to speak to a spoon made of ivory

 

[Blue Laser]

The ability to communicate with corn. That's right corn. The plant.

 

[Ham_authority95]

The ability to change the color of your armpit hair

I don't know how neon blue armpits would help you really...

 

[Mr. Gency]

The ability to talk anyone into sleeping with you, oh and you don't have sex, you literally just take them to your place walk to bed and go to sleep.

useful if you're a hostage negotiator, and need to get the hostage taker out of wherever they're hiding.

The ability to talk anyone into sleeping with you, oh and you don't have sex, you literally just take them to your place walk to bed and go to sleep.

You could use that to kidnap world leaders... so not entirely useless.

Damn your both right.
How about the ability to die.

 

[Dr Poochenstein]

Whenever you see naked chicks your dick gets limp.

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

You can instantly change into a high quality cosplay outfit.

You never know which outfit it will be...

and it only happens when you sneeze.

 

[Tdc2182]

Sell realestate. Dont know why that would be useless though, anyone who can sell a house in this market is a superhero