Noobs say the funniest things
- Thread starter Zepren
- Start date
Recommended Videos
Me and my brothers were playing Halo 3 Slayer over the holiday and someone from the other team with a name that was so lasting and memorable that I can't remember it said one of the stupidest things I've heard come from a gamer.
He said and I quote, "I'm gonna rape you till your ass bleeds."
This is why multi-player in a game is not a high-selling point for me. Hearing remarks so asinine by these parent intuition wasting, immature, and pathetic children is enough to make me feel ashamed to call myself a gamer. If I had my way all controllers would be hooked up to an electric charge that would shock the piss out of them each time they said something stupid like the above quote.
Nice thread btw. Shalom.
He said and I quote, "I'm gonna rape you till your ass bleeds."
This is why multi-player in a game is not a high-selling point for me. Hearing remarks so asinine by these parent intuition wasting, immature, and pathetic children is enough to make me feel ashamed to call myself a gamer. If I had my way all controllers would be hooked up to an electric charge that would shock the piss out of them each time they said something stupid like the above quote.
Nice thread btw. Shalom.
A few days ago, I played Left 4 Dead with a friend of mine. But I was so used to L4D2 that switched to my secondary weapon in the middle of a horde and wondered why there wasn't a melee weapon there.
I proceeded to be chewed on by an excess of zombies.
I proceeded to be chewed on by an excess of zombies.
I guess this was me being a noob but... On WoW I was playing a low-level Battle Ground. Some one typed "/e(custom emote)has reported you afk. Type /afk to deny this." Typing /afk causes you to quit the BG. Half my team and I didn't know this. We all left suddenly.
I had someone try that with me (he was being a dick, So i called the mum joke in) and...well it went something like this:Flishiz said:
Dick: "I owned your ass in that bitches!"
Me: "I owned your mums arse last night."
Dick: "Well my mom's dead, jackass"
Me: "...And your point is? Mine still stands."
That shut him, And the rest of his team...And some of mine, up. go me?
---
OT: "ALT-F4 Gives you superpowers!"
/facepalm.
EDIT: OH OH OH! I FORGOTZ!
MW2, Playing HCTDM, was matched in with a clan (i hate it when the clan sucks) against a team half consisting of another clan.
Sufficed to say, My team sucked. It was on estate (my most hated level) and ive no since learned that everyone plays ***** tactics on HCTDM. Excuses aside, We lost. Rather badly.
Now I myself, Take it on the chin and dont worry, Because you have AWFUL games, And EPIC games. But throughout the entire game my team were screaming that the other team were camping, Which they were not, They were using snipers, But moving around.
Anyway, back in the lobby after the game my team began to shout abuse, THen all of them rage quit, Which puts me on the other team, to which i just said "If those guy's shot as well as they bitched, We'dve kicked your arses."
I got three friend requests & at least 5 hysterical Yanks. Epic win.
I am not ashamed to say my main on WoW in on an RPPVP server.
So, after a guild meeting, my mates and I are trotting along from the road to Goldshire to Stormwind, and having practiced like the big geeks we are, we had perfect parade formations, getting ready to raid Hillsbrad.
A noob runs up to us, and since we're walking instead of running he's mezmorized and says to us "hai, r u guys comp programs!?"
We all halt, and our guild leader takes a bit, but ends up replying with. "Aye lad, we are a new program to help new players learn the basics."
A few of us agree, including myself.
Noob responds with, "o kool how do i walk lik u guyz?!
"
A few seconds pass again, we're already laughing on group channel and joking on guild chat. Our leader says "ALT+F4. Be well lad, and kill for the Alliance!"
"kthxbai" replies the noob, soon becoming still and quiet as his avatar vanishes. We all laugh, people who watched and heard the whole thing begin lulz.
But that's not the best part!
The next week, as we're going on our pre-raid patrol after the meeting again, the same guy comes up to us.
"Hai guys! Lol my game deid when I tried ALT+F4 lol wat should i do"
A few of us say some things like "Oh, that's a shame." and "Sorry to hear that." But our leader is quiet for a bit and finally begins to respond.
"Aye, tis a shame to hear such a tale. I just looked into your software and fixed the bug. Try ALT+F4 again. All should be well. Good day, young warrior. For the Alliance!"
And in a few seconds, like the first time, the dumbass' avatar vanishes. We all laugh, and soem of the regulars at Goldshire who duel who saw the last time call our leader a golden god.
-------------
It's quite sad that apparently to the normal players of WoW, you have to be a computer rpgram to speak correctly. =[
***** got what was coming to him.
So, after a guild meeting, my mates and I are trotting along from the road to Goldshire to Stormwind, and having practiced like the big geeks we are, we had perfect parade formations, getting ready to raid Hillsbrad.
A noob runs up to us, and since we're walking instead of running he's mezmorized and says to us "hai, r u guys comp programs!?"
We all halt, and our guild leader takes a bit, but ends up replying with. "Aye lad, we are a new program to help new players learn the basics."
A few of us agree, including myself.
Noob responds with, "o kool how do i walk lik u guyz?!
"A few seconds pass again, we're already laughing on group channel and joking on guild chat. Our leader says "ALT+F4. Be well lad, and kill for the Alliance!"
"kthxbai" replies the noob, soon becoming still and quiet as his avatar vanishes. We all laugh, people who watched and heard the whole thing begin lulz.
But that's not the best part!
The next week, as we're going on our pre-raid patrol after the meeting again, the same guy comes up to us.
"Hai guys! Lol my game deid when I tried ALT+F4 lol wat should i do"
A few of us say some things like "Oh, that's a shame." and "Sorry to hear that." But our leader is quiet for a bit and finally begins to respond.
"Aye, tis a shame to hear such a tale. I just looked into your software and fixed the bug. Try ALT+F4 again. All should be well. Good day, young warrior. For the Alliance!"
And in a few seconds, like the first time, the dumbass' avatar vanishes. We all laugh, and soem of the regulars at Goldshire who duel who saw the last time call our leader a golden god.
-------------
It's quite sad that apparently to the normal players of WoW, you have to be a computer rpgram to speak correctly. =[
***** got what was coming to him.
I've had a few of these on WoW, I had recently been buffed with detect lesser invisibility, and proceeded to stroll into the undercity. Anyone who plays Wow knows how I freaked at the ghosts.
Another time I was waiting outside gnomerragan (or whatever the fudge it's called) and found out from a party member you could get mounts at lvl 30.
Also, I remember a dude on the forums thinking that if beerfest is ok, why not weedfest. As you can guess he was told off.
Another time I was waiting outside gnomerragan (or whatever the fudge it's called) and found out from a party member you could get mounts at lvl 30.
Also, I remember a dude on the forums thinking that if beerfest is ok, why not weedfest. As you can guess he was told off.
In Modern Warfare 2, me and my friend Luke were playing Domination in the airport map. So there we were, playing away, when two little americans start screaming at each other. Calling each other a "fag" and whatnot. They both sounded pre-pubescent.
I interrupted and said "Hey guys, any chance we could quit bickering and... y'know, play the game? You're both sitting with your thumbs up yer arses and it's not helping us get anywhere here."
Boy 1: "HEY FAG DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
Boy 2: "YEAH ****** DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP!"
Me: "I'll do what I like. Perhaps unlike you, I wanna win this game so any chance you could not waste my time?"
Boy 2: "You can tell me what to do when your voice breaks."
Me: "And you can come back and say that to me when your voice breaks. My voice is never going to break so I'm not waiting 'til then to tell you two to shut the fuck up."
Boy 1: "YEAH YOUR VOICE WILL NEVER BREAK 'CUS YOU HAVE NO BALLS, FAG!"
Me: "Damn fucking right I have no balls and I'm glad I don't. Having tits is quite nice, thanks. Now any chance you could fucking shut up and play the game?"
Boy 1: "I'LL HACK YOUR FUCKING XBOX" /ragequit
the 2nd boy said nothing else for the rest of the game & his performance improved drastically.
I interrupted and said "Hey guys, any chance we could quit bickering and... y'know, play the game? You're both sitting with your thumbs up yer arses and it's not helping us get anywhere here."
Boy 1: "HEY FAG DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
Boy 2: "YEAH ****** DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP!"
Me: "I'll do what I like. Perhaps unlike you, I wanna win this game so any chance you could not waste my time?"
Boy 2: "You can tell me what to do when your voice breaks."
Me: "And you can come back and say that to me when your voice breaks. My voice is never going to break so I'm not waiting 'til then to tell you two to shut the fuck up."
Boy 1: "YEAH YOUR VOICE WILL NEVER BREAK 'CUS YOU HAVE NO BALLS, FAG!"
Me: "Damn fucking right I have no balls and I'm glad I don't. Having tits is quite nice, thanks. Now any chance you could fucking shut up and play the game?"
Boy 1: "I'LL HACK YOUR FUCKING XBOX" /ragequit
the 2nd boy said nothing else for the rest of the game & his performance improved drastically.
Man, this was ages ago. I think CAD actually made a joke about this at some point, but I could be wrong. I can't even remember what game it was anymore.
Scenario: Noob asking everyone questions about basic controls, which is acceptable. But, he was acting all arrogant and on top of the world.
I asked him if he was so great, how come he didn't know the basic controls.
He replied that he had an alternate high-level file months ago, but they recently changed all the controls.
Meanwhile, this game had been released to the general public a few weeks previously...
Scenario: Noob asking everyone questions about basic controls, which is acceptable. But, he was acting all arrogant and on top of the world.
I asked him if he was so great, how come he didn't know the basic controls.
He replied that he had an alternate high-level file months ago, but they recently changed all the controls.
Meanwhile, this game had been released to the general public a few weeks previously...
I remember someone tried to do that to me.Captain Awesome said:
I was like "yeah, you're right, it does work **********".
All he could say was "oh".
Ive had people try to attack me to loot my corps in some MMO's...
Even thought it is impossible
Even thought it is impossible
Oh I have used that joke so many times. It's the perfect counter if anyone uses a your mum joke online.Flishiz said:
perhaps you were thinking of this? http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20060823Georgie_Leech said:
OT: I was playing GunZ on the island map and someone killed me while I was typing. I tried to take revenge but for some reason he wouldn't die, even after hitting him with an instakill combo. So on a hunch, I turn on my lawnmower hack (basically it lets you attack with your sword ten times a second) and discover that he's running a god mode hack. He then starts hurling unimaginitave trash talk at me. Stuff like fag, noob, hacker ect. ect. At some point later on in the game I managed to juggle him into a ravine and kill him. I was rewarded with a /ragequit.
really no gators in austraila?? did not know thatSirDeadly said:
mine, friend and i were playing halo 2 and this kid was screaming at us "you noob" a your mom joke following everything we say so on so forth. the really funny part was... the kid sounded like steve urkle, only more geeky. now i am a GEEK, i know this and i love it, but this was the sterotypical nasal high pitched no testies voice. we could not stop laughing.
at least the kid TRIED to act tough