Noobs say the funniest things

[kuposenpai]

Some American guy (no offense) was going off at me and my cousin. We were pretending to be from a non-english speaking country but spoke english perfectly and he completely believed us. Later he found out that we're from Australia and went off at us some more. He then told us to go get eaten by an alligator... There are no alligators here! We have their much more deadly cousins the crocodile!

really no gators in austraila?? did not know that

mine, friend and i were playing halo 2 and this kid was screaming at us "you noob" a your mom joke following everything we say so on so forth. the really funny part was... the kid sounded like steve urkle, only more geeky. now i am a GEEK, i know this and i love it, but this was the sterotypical nasal high pitched no testies voice. we could not stop laughing.

at least the kid TRIED to act tough

I think this only helps the support to take the concept of that floating ball with the power of your mind bit and apply it to a machine that moves from thoughts of your mind to a machine that slaps your opponent in the face. Should said opponent tried to retaliate, the odds on in your favor that they'll be too distracted at cracking the next joke to splooge of of their mouth to give proper thoughts to the mind slapper.

Seriously, what sort of initiative can you take to get something like that started?

 

[kuposenpai]

EVERYONE ONE SING ALONG, IT'S NOT THAT HARD

N-O-O....BS!
Noobs!
GOTTA PWN 'EM ALL
GOTTA PWN 'EM ALL!

...yeah

GOTTA PWN 'EM ALL
GOTTA PWN 'EM ALL!

Gotta be pain in my ass Friggin' NooooooOOOoooooobs Gotta Pwn 'em all! Friggin' Noobs!

 

[NIHILHATE]

Hehe, I once told some dude to "fuck off and get laid", for calling me a noob because I brought down his heli, with one shot from a crappy pistol. People who use the word should be slapped.

 

[Tdc2182]

Well this one time, some guy made a stupid thread about things noobs say on The Escapist, not even realizing how much of an annoying elitist it made him sound.

Poor guy......wonder whatever happened to him...

He still lives on. But be careful, they say he snoops around on this thread attacking innocent escapees with troll like comments

 

[Angerwing]

I just want to point out that there's a large difference between newb and noob. A newb is someone who is new. A noob is someone who should really know better, but doesn't.

Newbs = good.
Noobs = bad.

I've played WoW for a very long time, so I have many noob stories. None that I can really single out at the moment though. That being said, if I come across a well-spoken lowbie who doesn't know what to do, I like to lend a hand. If they're just a jerk who refuse to learn how to play, they're a 'noob', and I hate them.

 

[BigHandInSky]

From a hillbilly, everyone knows Great Britain is part of England are you stoopid?

I'm suprised the hillbilly knew tht great britain existed

I'm surprised he was able to put words into a barely understandable sentence

I'm completely unsurprised that he got them the wrong way round

 

[DuplicateValue]

Well this one time, some guy made a stupid thread about things noobs say on The Escapist, not even realizing how much of an annoying elitist it made him sound.

Poor guy......wonder whatever happened to him...

Hey, look I have 2000 posts so my opinion counts. I'm going to write on a thread the most irreverent post ever! *thumps up*

I like to think everyone's opinion counts here, regardless of post count. Post count is really only useful so we know who to watch for trolling.

Well, that's what I use it for anyway. Every new person is a potential troll in my eyes until they prove otherwise by making good posts.

 

[LeonLethality]

Might have to go back to the old times of Runescape too.
Him: "Drop all your items on the floor, and then press Alt + F4! It duplicates all your items."
Me: "OK..."
Me: "Hey thanks, that really worked!"
Him: "What really?!"

His character disappeared after that, so I assume he did it...

That reminds me of when people would go to banks and yell "drop party upstairs" I wonder if anyone ever fell for that?

 

[Kermi]

Noobs often saying they have high level alternate accounts on games without any proof to back it up is always hilarious

I love it when people "have a 50 on their other account" in Halo 3, and go 1:6 on their k/d ratio in every single game.
One time some kid claimed, when pressed, that his "real" account was Snipedown - if you played Halo 3 for any length of time in the last two years, you've probably heard of him. This is like some crappy pub band getting heckled and claiming to be The Beatles in a different costume.

 

[martin's a madman]

Well this one time, some guy made a stupid thread about things noobs say on The Escapist, not even realizing how much of an annoying elitist it made him sound.

Poor guy......wonder whatever happened to him...

Hmmmmmm yeah i wonder where he is too

holy crap batman look at that sarcasm.
noob moment for me was in l4d2 when one of the player ran up to me and said were can i find ammo for the frying pan, i facpalmed and continued to riddle him with a full clip from the tactical shotgun.

Well, he obviously wanted to implement bacon as a projectile.

 

[Jedamethis]

snip

Off-Topic but where have I seen you before? You're very familiar...

OT: I rarely play online, so no hilarious stories from me, sorry.

 

[MagnetoHydroDynamics]

Well... I don't actually go to places with noobs. I hardly ever play MMOs and just rarely a decent shooter like TF2.

I once came across an idiot in said game though. He accused me of cheating because of his own rendering errors. Claiming that I shot him from within my own spawn when everyone else was cursing "MHD you annoyingly persistent scout! You are like an insect, hahaha" and the like.

 

[Decy19]

well when I got my month of live cuz i got the red ring T.T i played gta 4 online and the was this match and someguy had the improved shotgun and he was killing everyone then he put the gun to my head (i was sick and tired of dieing) so i said:wait dont shoot i found out he didnt have a mic so some kid came up and was likeu7 Ur W34p0n d0wn with a freking bat in his hand but the guy went away so i easily put a cap in his ass

 

[SweetNess_666]

i think that my biggest noob hate is on FIFA10 on the 360 where at kick off some random idiot just shoots from the half way line it works about 2/1000,000 times its rediculous

 

[Bat Vader]

i think noob is a pretty noob thing to say

You said it twice.......

either your a 13 year old who cant detect sarcasm, or you have mental health issues either way FAIL

Or maybe you have no sense of humour? sorry but i had to make a thrid choice as your options were abit extreme. and "FAIL" at the end? just no.

what does a sense of humor have to do with the blatant overuse of the word "noob"? and also http://www.youfail.org/ yes

Gawd you just dont quit even though you are failing yourself. I asked for noobs not to flame but seems that didn't work :s there's always one

i... i just can't comprehend your stupidity

Come on guys stop arguing over this. Just stop responding to each other.

 

[Socius]

Well there was this one time a noob (in the sense of being someone who sucks at a game and is an asshole to everyone to compensate) was trying to insult my little brother (then age 11) on Live playing COD4.

Brother: "I kicked your ass, just admit it"

Noob: "I kicked your mom's ass last night"

Brother: "...my mom died when I was 5. I'm an orphan"

As a disclaimer I should say that it was purely a joke, but it sure shut that guy up.

I had someone try that with me (he was being a dick, So i called the mum joke in) and...well it went something like this:

Dick: "I owned your ass in that bitches!"
Me: "I owned your mums arse last night."
Dick: "Well my mom's dead, jackass"
Me: "...And your point is? Mine still stands."

That shut him, And the rest of his team...And some of mine, up. go me?

---

I was playing Tf2, on the 2fort dusty server and this kid, called himself steve but sounded like an 8 year old girl got real pissed at me for dominating him. (sniper duels )

"Steve": I will rape you noob shit!!!
Me: I raped your mom last night.
"Steve": She died 3 years ago!
Me: I know.

and so there was this akward silence...