Noobs say the funniest things

[SsilverR]

"Ken is the best character in Street Fighter IV because his Shoryuken is the strongest."

Good times, good times.

noobs learn to love my izuna drop haha ... no point having a good uppercut if you can't land it .... and you never will land it if it's the only fucking move you use -_-

one noob disconnected when i caught him with an izuna drop mid shoryuken haha

also .. i did run into one demonic ken user who had me in shock! .. he was so awesome .... but reverted to shoryuken spamming when i figured him out ... what's worst .. he would've actually taken me if he stayed calm

but anyway ... for me it would have to be angry pms after fights "fuck you noob i'll pwn your vega if i was on my sagat you fucking noob" **i add them .. they pick their sagat ... i pwn them** ... another e-mail "fuck you noob and your cheap fucking vega noob, you're a noob" .. *i pm back** "ok i'm a noob .. but i'd rather be the noob than the guy that got pwned by the noob .. also .. vega is the most nerfed character on sf4 .. look it up"

 

[Tommy T.]

Well this one time, some guy made a stupid thread about things noobs say on The Escapist, not even realizing how much of an annoying elitist it made him sound.

Poor guy......wonder whatever happened to him...

Necessary much?

Are you implying that it was or wasn't necessary?

Necessary or not, you were still right.

Because I don't want to sound like an elitist I won't reply to this thread... no wait... I already did
Plenty of dem newbs in TF2 free weekend. "How do I disguise", "How are you invisible", "how do I heal", etc. The regular stuff.

 

[Zepren]

this has actually happened to me while playing GRID:

unknown player: hahaha, you are behind me. (my car was just behind him)
me: Do you realize I have a lap advantage over you?

Haha, ah that's classic

 

[Tomsky]

Played with a kid on MW2 who said he was 7 and my mates said he was too young to be playing he said his mum let him, to which we said why not put her on headset and see what she says, she said that she trusted him to know what was right and wrong.

I know it's not really n00by of him more of the mother I just think it's said that parents buy their kids games that they're not meant to play for 11 years and then have a go at games for warping their minds.

 

[chronobreak]

Oh well, it is just a personal matter than for you to figure out. It is a cool looking avatar in my opinion and if bothers you that much that two people have the same one then you might wanna pick up a new hobby. Welcome to the Internet bro, hope you have a nice stay.

Kind of bugs me too, seeing as how Onyx is an established poster with a longer history with the forums. Nothing against you personally, it just smacks of unoriginality, what with the millions of images availible to use. Although, because you are new, I'm sure you had no clue another member used the exact same hypnotoad image. I can safely say if a member with seniority had the same avatar as me, I would change it, because we are a community first, and a forum second.

I don't see why someone presenting a concern would qualify for them to find a new hobby, however. It's a little late, I know, but:

Welcome to The Escapist, bro.

 

[sdafdfhrye3245]

well there was this one kid I remember from tf2 not really something noobish he said but it was just so funny "we need a heavy machine gun" idk just the way he said it was so funny

 

[LWS666]

Noobs often saying they have high level alternate accounts on games without any proof to back it up is always hilarious

You should also change this threads title to something like "noobs say the darnedest things" or something along those lines.

NO! you could get sued for that.

 

[FastFoot92]

Well this one time, some guy made a stupid thread about things noobs say on The Escapist, not even realizing how much of an annoying elitist it made him sound.

Poor guy......wonder whatever happened to him...

He mutated and became you!!!WITCH!!!!

OT: In Uncharted 2's survival mode some guy ran into a house and started telling us to fortify it with him(me and some randomer)he was the only one with a mic so he kept on nagging and not getting any kills while me and smiley got loads a kills

 

[GrinningManiac]

I never played runescape, but I was around a friends when he was playing, and the following happened

Him: "Hey, I'm doing Such-and-Such quest, how do I find the So-and-So?"
Me at keyboard: "Ah, well, you'd be best making sure you can defeat the Watichokoo"
Him: "Wut?"
Me: "The creature that guards the So-and-So. They don't tell you, it's supposed to be a scripted ambush, but it pisses a lot of new guys off and ruins their progress, so the rest of us try to warn you lot beforehand"
Him: "Oh cool! Thanks, how do I beat it?"
Me: "You need this odd sword called the Watichokoo-Wobbler. Stupid name, I thought it was a joke at first, but it's beyond the bridge north of here, buried at the foot of a large, pink tower"
Him: "seriously?"
Me: "It's not meant to be pink, it's a glitch. Find a spade, dig there for about ten feet, get the sword and hit the Watichokoo with it. You'll get the So-and-So"
Him: "Thanks! How do I get a spade?"
Me: "It's a random drop when you kill players of a lower rank than you"
Him: "Thanks, mate"

Occasionally I still bump into that friend (we're not so close now) and laugh and say "Big Wobbler under the Pink Tower" at each other, before sighing and going "I cannot believe he bought that"

 

[GrinningManiac]

I don't have the original convo, but something along these lines was on IRC:

: If you type in your password, it comes out as stars!
: ****** See!
: hunter2
: It looks the same to me...
: I know, it only appears as stars to other people.
: I see it as *******.
: I'm going to hunter2 your hunter2ing hunter2
: LOL I bet that looked weird
: Yeah, lol.
: I didn't know IRC did that!
: It's weird aye? All I see is *******, but to you it looks like hunter2.
: Wait, how do you know my password?
: Oh, I copy/pasted the second one there so it appears to you as hunter2 again.
: Oh, ok.

THIS.
IS.
BRILLIANT.

I wish to hug you

 

[SnipErlite]

Which he copied from Futurama, so why does it matter anyways?

It matters because it's a pet peeve of mine when people use the same avatar.
It's practically identity theft.

Oh well, it is just a personal matter than for you to figure out. It is a cool looking avatar in my opinion and if bothers you that much that two people have the same one then you might wanna pick up a new hobby. Welcome to the Internet bro, hope you have a nice stay.

"Welcome to the internet" says the guy with like 100 times less posts (not that I care about post count but he's been here far longer than you), and having the same avatar as someone else who had it first just seems a bit.....unoriginal?

Even without the fact avatar's identify an Escapist somewhat - You stole his face!

 

[trebthegamer]

i met this person on l4D asking:"can't we stay in the saferoom. because it's safer here."
my response "not when they nuke the place, now get your ass out here."
he followed and continued to play and not bad so i assume he was joking.

 

[Conqueror Kenny]

Funny you should mention Gen, he's my character of choice too. My favorite method of dealing with Ken users is waiting for them to inevitably whiff a fierce Shoryuken, then catch them with the Mantis Super into Crane Ultra combo as they land.

I love hearing noobs diss Gen. It makes destroying them much more satisfying.

Why would you use the crane ultra? If you use the Mantis ultra it's easier to juggle them and it does more damage.
You are using Gen and still making things harder for yourself, you crazy.

 

[Zepren]

Lol from the looks of things, noobs like to converge on anything big name (ie MW2) and anything made by valve (L4D, TF2 etc). Interesting *makes a few notes*

 

[Therumancer]

"Superman can fly?!"

God, sometimes I doubt my natural choice of friends

Well to be fair, comics are becoming increasingly elitist and the crowd that is interested in them seems to strangely getting older and older. I honestly would not be surprised if many kids and even young adults know the character mostly through Smallville (without getting any of the nods to the comics, given that it's a total spin off series). In that universe regular use of flight is a relatively new thing for the character. It's also noteworthy that the original Superman also could not fly he could merely "leap tall buildings with a single bound".


-

Otherwise, I tend to be a bit wary of newb stories, especially seeing as a lot of people in sounding "wise" oftentimes make some critical mistake themselves. Sort of like a guy talking about Ken being unbalanced in Street Fighter IV due to his ranged attack. While many elitists will scream that no character is unbalanced (even if they are exploiting it) for a long while people were calling the game "Ken Fighter IV" for a reason since that was pretty much all anyone used even if Ryu allegedly had better "stats" and was more iconic to the series in a general sense. Some know it alls were talking about how according to the Japanese arcade players nobody used him much, and how other characters like Ryu were overplayed instead. Much later I wound up hearing that game devs eventually admitted (despite earlier claims) that Ken and Sagat were both grotesquly overpowered. Sagat's priority was apparently borked and almost impossible to fix/correct under the current system, and Ken was intentionally buffed up for the home release in the US market because he was an American fighter, Ryu received a similar treatment in Japan, and allegedly they planned to do similar things to the "home" fighter in versions of the game they sent to differant places feeling it would increase the game's popularity especially if it wasn't stated. Giving people the illusion of "oh wow, our guy kicks butt, the programmers must really respect us and our fighting styles".

How much of that is true is debatable, but given the mess they made out of things like the AI reaction to Zangief's lariet (which I'm not sure if they ever fixed) I wouldn't doubt if something similar was said at some point, and you can roll the dice as to whether or not it was them claiming errors were on purpose (trying to promote bugs as features, even if some of the claims are untrue) or actually true.

As it is, glaring problems like the Zangief AI reaction make me wonder how much Capcom paid to get so many people to call SF IV "Fighting Game Of The Year" in comparison to say "Tekken 6" and "Blazblue" which while not perfect didn't have quite as many glaring errors and an apparently untested single player AI (and for all claims that it's all about the multiplayer, that is no excuse for being shoddy about part of your product).

-

When it comes to my own "newb" stories my definition of "newb" is very subjective and actually involves stupid mistakes or misconceptions about high end WoW players, which few people would appreciate.


-

 

[Urgh76]

When they curse a lot because they think they're cool by spamming and showing off his knowledge of... THE FORBIDDEN LANGUAGE (AKA: 1337 speak)

 

[supagama]

I had a noob hassling me on an MMO he was scamming with the usual
"I've been hacked and lost all my gear loan me some money please" crap no one ever falls for.

He followed me about for a while untill I went

"You know if you press Alt+F4 it brings up a hack menu for getting free items"
"Aww cool, thanks man!"
5 seconds later his avatar vanishes...problem solved

I get a private message about 5 minutes later
"I don't think it works, my game just closed and I tried twice?"

Sigh...

Reminds me of the good old days in Runescape

 

[whatdoyouthink]

i was playing CoD WaW on nazi zombies, and this guy said DUDE stop killing those guys, their tryin to get in and away from the bad guys