Ohhhh, you're one of *those* people..

[The Rockerfly]

Err you laughed at him, with your entire class. Do you know how much that didn't help him?
Go and apologies to him for making him feel like crap
No we dislike you because you did judge him and laughed at him and call someone different weird
No you shouldn't treat him any differently, thats the problem we have with you

Ugh, I'm sorry but none of you have any idea what ye're talking about.

Listen, school is a horrible place - kids are mean. They can't help it.
If you want to stand out and be individual, that's your own choice. But you have to be willing to put up with the downsides of being individual: you are more noticeable and that makes you a target.

You can put up with it, or cut the crap and express your individuality outside of school.

Or, if you're lucky, find a group of like-minded people who can make the days bareable, maybe even fun.

Seriously, I know what I'm talking about.[/quote]

Yes because a 17 has no idea on how shit school can be. Oh wait no
I'm trying to change the mind of someone who I think has a wrong way of dealing with someone who is different people
Someone has to bring them out of their close minsets, it's called growing up
So you are encouraging people to form small close minded groups, yeah sorry if I don't pay much attention to your opinion

 

[The Rockerfly]

I never actually said I wasn't gonna apologise, although it'll only really matter if the enire class does. But I sitll plan to, Infact I always did I just didn't think I had to tell you as I didn't tihnk it mattered to you whether I aplogised or not

Thats all that matters, look I just hate hearing someone bullied or singled out like that, a friend of mine killed themselves recently from being singled out
May want to put that in original post next time because it looks like you got some fairly similar responses

 

[IDBash]

Sounds like you and the rest of your classmates are judgmental arseholes. Grow up.

Also maybe there's a good reason he keeps to himself... to avoid being some superficial immature brat.

One day when you grow up and finish school you might get a clue about how the world works, instead of your silly little playground politics.

You must still be in college. Because if you really are an IT Tech you know better than most how much of the world still is employing the "silly little playground politics." I have had to take my plugs out, cut my hair, and change the way I dress to get and maintain a job in the "progressive" bay area... It is unfortunate as a lot of ability is passed up in favor of good looks and a kind voice. /rant

I'm done with college. I do freelance IT repair on the side of my day job while this recession is making careers harder to pursue. I also dress how I want and still get work. I also get on with nearly every person I meet because I take the time to see what they're like as a person before I judge. I just lose patience with people being superficial, hence my comment.

Ah then it makes sense... I used to be able to do that too back when I did consulting. But I needed to get into full-time for my wife's and kid's insurance... Sucked to make the changeover; because they are worlds apart... Consulting is where all the fun was at. I still wear whatever for my consulting contracts.

 

[Disaster Button]

I never actually said I wasn't gonna apologise, although it'll only really matter if the enire class does. But I sitll plan to, Infact I always did I just didn't think I had to tell you as I didn't tihnk it mattered to you whether I aplogised or not

Thats all that matters, look I just hate hearing someone bullied or singled out like that, a friend of mine killed themselves recently from being singled out
May want to put that in original post next time because it looks like you got some fairly similar responses

Yeah I probably should edit the OP cos it is pretty unclear which would explain alot of hate I got.

But when you say you're trying to help me "grow up" I think it's a bit patronising and arrogant especially seeing as your one year older than me and because there's nothing immature going on here. Just a lot of mis interpretation. And I am sorry about your friend, that sucks, to put it mildly

 

[Madaxeman101]

I just automatically assume that everyone i ever meet will be a total dick and then when it turns out im right its not a dissapointment and when im wrong its a nice surprise.

 

[Jimmyjames]

If you're going to look the part, you damned well be ready to be treated like it. Fact of life, and either you accept it and be who you are, disregarding the opinions of others, or do your best to blend in.

Case in point, lets say someone looks gangsta, has tattoos running up and down their arms, has a wifebeater, baggy pants, and bandanna on. Is it not totally justified for other people to treat him like he's a gangster? Doesn't matter if he's the nicest guy in the world, first impression will be that he's a scary guy.

Don't like it, then don't dress like that. The worst part is, the more people are TREATED that way, generally the more they act that way. Viscous circle, but life.

 

[Aqualung]

Of course I do this, who doesn't, really? But I'm glad I do.

I work at a soup kitchen, and one day, this brown bloke with tattoos and some piercings kept talking to me during work. He seemed nice, but something felt off about him. When he asked for my phone number at the end of the day, I said no- and a good thing, too. Turned out he was only working there on court order.

 

[TheFacelessOne]

I tend to make first judgements on appeareance, but not to judge whether they're ugly, pretty, etc.

I like to call them, "tabs." Just to see what they look like, wonder how they behave, etc.

But, I like to consider myself one of *those* people.

 

[Ossum]

Smartest and most hardworking guy I ever met sported a green mohawk and was a legitimate punk, sewed the patches on his jacket himself. Twitchy guy, but really cool, and did more than any ten of his peers.

'Twas about that time I realized I was one of "those" people, and tried to knock that snap judgmental shit off.

 

[J-Alfred]

He is really weird. He sits and hums to himself, dances on the stop and spaztastically, talks about the most obscure things, and laughs for no reason.

aww... I do that. except for the dancing.

anyways, to answer your questions, it isn't always a bad thing to judge someone based on looks. Just so long as you keep an open mind to the possiblity that your initial judgement might be wrong.

 

[delet]

There's an emo kid at my school with an huge afro. A white emo kid with a a huge afro...

That counts as weird, right?

 

[Disaster Button]

He is really weird. He sits and hums to himself, dances on the stop and spaztastically, talks about the most obscure things, and laughs for no reason.

aww... I do that. except for the dancing.

anyways, to answer your questions, it isn't always a bad thing to judge someone based on looks. Just so long as you keep an open mind to the possiblity that your initial judgement might be wrong.

I do that too. I was just using them as examples to emphasise a point. And yeah I agree with you and always try my best to do so

 

[Disaster Button]

There's an emo kid at my school with an huge afro. A white emo kid with a a huge afro...

That counts as weird, right?

Yeah. But in a good way

 

[secretsantaone]

Sure is hypocrite around here.

Of course you go by first impressions. It's human nature.

If I see a guy that looks like a chav, I assume he's a chav. For all I know he might be a paradigm of civillised society but because his appearance fits in with a stereotype you assume it.

I'm sure everyone who berated the OP for being prejudiced has done something similar in the past.

If the guy was bothered about what other people though he would change his appearance, if he wasn't then where's the problem?

 

[obex]

And as soon as he walks in everyone starts laughing and talking about him quietly, myself included.

I lost respect for you around here.

But just like most times people make judgements like that about another school kid, they turned out right.

It went downhill even more here.

He is really weird. He sits and hums to himself, dances on the stop and spaztastically, talks about the most obscure things, and laughs for no reason.

Nobody laughs for without a reason, just because you don't know what it is doesn't mean it does not exist. He was probably thinking about chopping all the judgemental pricks up with an axe for laughing at him.

Now this is all well and good but how did they know he was gonna turn out like that just based on his looks? And do you think it's wrong?

No it isn't, they didn't, and yes it is.

They are pricks, and would have made those comments even if he acted normal.

My thoughts exactly

 

[AkJay]

And as soon as he walks in everyone starts laughing and talking about him quietly, myself included.

I lost respect for you around here.

But just like most times people make judgements like that about another school kid, they turned out right.

It went downhill even more here.

He is really weird. He sits and hums to himself, dances on the stop and spaztastically, talks about the most obscure things, and laughs for no reason.

Nobody laughs for without a reason, just because you don't know what it is doesn't mean it does not exist. He was probably thinking about chopping all the judgemental pricks up with an axe for laughing at him.

Now this is all well and good but how did they know he was gonna turn out like that just based on his looks? And do you think it's wrong?

No it isn't, they didn't, and yes it is.

They are pricks, and would have made those comments even if he acted normal.

You can't be mad at him for telling the truth, that's how it works in schools.

 

[Deleted]

I lost respect for you around here.



It went downhill even more here.


Nobody laughs for without a reason, just because you don't know what it is doesn't mean it does not exist. He was probably thinking about chopping all the judgemental pricks up with an axe for laughing at him.


No it isn't, they didn't, and yes it is.

They are pricks, and would have made those comments even if he acted normal.

Oh no I didn't know we had holy beings here. Forgive me great one, let me get my robe.

Everyone judges based on appearance consciously or subconsciously and it isn't bad to think of certain things as weird or else we'd have people running around naked with purple body pant and unshaved armpits. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just lying.

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Man, this whole thing got really out of hand. How can you lose respect for him just because he talked about some kid? The kid (through the description) is someone that is just aching for the attention that he got when he walked into the classroom. There is no denying it. Laughing to yourself is one thing, laughing out loud is another thing entirely.

Humming to yourself is fine, I like to hum to some tunes myself, but I keep it in check. I'm not doing it loud enough to disrupt anyone elses thoughts, nor do I try to make it known that I am in fact humming. Now, dancing is alright, but in school, honestly...cut that shit out.

Talking about obscure things...well, they may be obscure to you, but not to him, thats just preference/taste really.

There is no denying he is looking for attention, based on your description of him (looks and actions), so I don't understand why everyone is jumping at your throat. How old are you again? If this is highschool, its typical shit.

More on topic though...I don't think its wrong to judge people based on their looks. For the most part, your judgements from the looks of the person usually translate over to their personality. I give people the benefit of the doubt though, but for the most part, my intuition has been spot on about people.

 

[ayailla]

I think we've seen all sides of the argument here. We've seen evolutionary reasons for judgement, we've seen arguments against and for judging people. I think Disaster Button has his answer.

No, it isn't wrong to judge people, but many people do frown upon it. Mostly, the people who judge others claim to be right most of the time. This may be true. However, judging people based on their looks alone leads to unneccesary prejudice.

The rest of this post is aimed DIRECTLY at Disaster Button (And no, it's not nasty).

Basically, if your first thought upon seeing this person was, "Wow... what a freak," then fair play. Mine would have been different (probably something along the lines of 'nice hair!') but that was your initial response and, while people may flame you for being immature and ignorant, what they fail to see is that by questioning this response and asking if others do it to, you are taking a mature stance on the matter. Most people do judge others, but if it is in the subconscious, then those people are right to say they never do it. On the other hand, how do people know what goes on in the subconscious? Psychological arguments mostly.

I think, you gave this guy a second chance, he turned out to be what you would consider 'weird.' Which means you were right in your initial thoughts, but the fact that you gave him a chance is mature in the first place. You didn't ignore him, you didn't constantly giggle at him without the slightest attempt to get to know him. Well done, and very mature of you.

Judging people based on their look is a part of life, whether you know that you do it or not. I do not consciously judge people, but I can't honestly say that I don't judge people at all, because I would be talking grade A BS. You can't know for sure.