Open Relationships, what do you think?

[goatzilla8463]

Nah man. Screwing around with multiple girls is fine if you are single. However, once you tell a girl that she is the one you'd like to try and build up a relationship with, you've got to stick to it until you've told her you've decided against it.

 

[RagnorakTres]

Depends how you classify an "open relationship." Personally, I apply the Heinlein philosophy (or at least, the one prevalent in the books I've read): What two or more people do behind closed doors is their business. No one else's. Period.

Of course, I am aware of the "spouse rule:" whenever you tell a married person something, you assume they're going to tell their spouse. Them's the rules. As long as I know who my wife is sleeping with, I don't particularly care, and I'm willing to bet (seriously) that any woman I feel strongly enough about to want to marry will be the exact same way.

Now, I understand that not all people can maintain an "open relationship." That's their business. And there's a difference between an "open relationship" and sleeping around. In an open relationship (as I see it) you must have great respect and love for all the people you're sleeping with. If you're just boning to bone, that's called being a tart...er, whore. Sorry, too much Steinbeck.

[sub]"Welcome to the Internet, where the men are men, the women are men and the children are FBI agents." --Unattributed[/sub]

 

[Klarinette]

Another vote for monogamy.

Personally, I think sex is at least an expression of your physical attraction to the person, if not emotional as well, so it should be something that you're exclusive about while you're in a relationship. If you're single, be promiscuous all you want (just wear a damn rubber).

 

[crudus]

Well I believe sexual intercourse is one of the strongest displays of emotion, therefore just screwing around with anyone you want is rather deceitful to me.

So monogamy for me

I know how you feel. I would like to think I could do the polygamy thing but it seems to just cheapen the deal for me (I have never tried it, just thought experiments). That and I would get jealous quickly. However, polygamy is alright in my book as far as other people doing it. Although I can do one night stands and friends with benefits really easily.

 

[DemonicVixen]

I, personally, don't associate sex with love. So, I think being with the one you love and fucking around is perfectly acceptable. Of course, I'm not in it to deceive my partner, they would know and be free to do the same.

The reason why there's this whole "One girl for one guy" thing in relationships is, in my opinion, because people are just so jealous.

Let's hear your views. I'll try and reply to some posts when I get back to my computer.

In many ways, sex is meant to be a strong point of a relationship hence why it used to be sex after marrige, kindof the highlight of the relationship. I would definatly not like it if my boyfriend decided to "mess around" with other women as variety. If you dont like the sex with your partner, tough. She/he might have the best loving personality, and in all other ways, be the best partner your going to find. Why the hell not just ignore that the sex might not be good, and just love them for who they are.

If you, the OP, feel that you want to have a so called "open relationship" why even bother getting a partner in the first place. You might as well screw around with out the lies, whether your partner knows about it or not its still cheating in my eyes and i think it will be hard for you to find a decent partner who will actually accept you doing this. If sex isnt love to you, then god help you.

I love my boyfriend, and im not in the relationship for the sex even though admitedly we do enjoy it. We didnt just jump into it either. I find that building your relationship and taking it in stages is better. I would never ever consider suggesting to him that we should try being in an "open relationship" as people love to call it, because that merely suggests that you dont love them enough to stick sorely to them, and perhaps that you dont enjoy their company and sex. Its not a fair thing to do.

As for jealousy, just because we choose a partner and stick with them and only them for sex and the rest, has nothing to do with jealousy. Jealousy is when you stop them from talking to opposite sex and banning them from going out without you being there. Believe me, i've experianced jealousy and yes, have managed to do some of my own (although im a lot more open now then i used to be). I suppose the day you get married your partner and yourself will still be free to "mess around" as you wont want to have the "One girl for one guy" still going on. In other words you will both be commiting adultery. Oh well. Enjoy your sad miserable life of mixed partners and never setling for one and only one person. Love is not a toy you can mess around with. If you chose to get a parter who you love and love properly, you wont want to go with others, and if you do? Then you dont love them enough and are far better off telling them you dont want to be with them.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

It would take far too long to adequately explain what I believe and I'm not even sure I could articulate it properly so I'm just going to say pretty much this:

Well I believe sexual intercourse is one of the strongest displays of emotion, therefore just screwing around with anyone you want is rather deceitful to me.

So monogamy for me

 

[-Torchedini-]

Nope shouldn't work. There will always be one left out then. Or feel like it.

 

[not_the_dm]

Absolutely not on my part! if my gf asked how i would feel about it and that she wanted to do it, i would leave her...

but she doesnt so every1 is happy ^^


has someone always says only 1 key to a (dunno the word) (hole in the door, to insert the key mencioned before ).

Keyhole. Sometimes the word is more simple than you think.

OT: Women tend to dissaprove of infidelity. You may find your girlfriend leaving you if you start sleeping around.

 

[Manicotti]

Another notch on the side of the monogamous. We all know full well the physical, emotional, and spiritual connections formed via sex, so the whole "let's fuck for fun" probably SOUNDS nice at first, because hey it's fun, but someone is inevitably going to get left out. And I really can't see how being willing to hurt someone like that is a sign of anything other than juvenile greed.

And instinct has to be, IMO, the worst possible excuse to follow through with any impulse. Murder, theft, adultery, racism, etc are all just instincts carried out to completion.

 

[Chrono212]

Funking around just seems to funk up everything...around... :\

So, yeah, its one of the core parts of a relationship because you don't usually get to do such things with 'just freinds'

 

[Joey245]

I think it's wrong. Sex complicates everything, my friends have experienced this firsthand.

I am a unique specimen among teens: I have never had any form of sex. Not even masturbation. There. I said it. I have never done that kind of thing.

I will wait until I find the person God made for me. Call me a religious fanatic, call me naive, but I will wait. I know the wait will be worth it.

And don't even get me started on the Diseases you can get.

 

[Serioli]

If all involved party's are happy then good luck to you,Ijust know I can't do it (and will happily admit it's jealousy)

 

[Amberella]

Well I believe sexual intercourse is one of the strongest displays of emotion

Pretty much this. Sex is one of the most amazing things a couple can experience. Good sex should always be more than just physical; it has the potential to be a phenomenal emotional and spiritual connection. As such, it should be reserved for someone you actually care about rather than someone you just met.

Basically this. And why would I want someone else when I have a man who satisfies my every need? I love my guy, and an open relationship would never work. I don't believe in it nor do I want it.

 

[Jedoro]

I'm just too committed to what and who I care about to be in an open relationship, and I couldn't sleep with someone I wasn't a couple with.

I've tried, it's just not me.

 

[Nurb]

In college I dated a married couple who could handle an open relationship, and it was an interesting experience. They viewed it as a way to enjoy sex with each other through another person, but everyone has their own reasons.

I don't think I could handle an open relationship as I'm more monogamous, buuut I would like to try an exclusive/closed polyamorous relationship at least once; having a boyfriend and girlfriend or be a part of 2 close couples at the most if everyone clicks. I'm not holding my breath for it though.

Nope shouldn't work. There will always be one left out then. Or feel like it.

it can if people can handle it given certian rules, but many try and realize they can't. People explore that kind of thing all the time.

 

[kickyourass]

I'm of the mind that as long as all participants are [super emphasis]consenting adults[/super emphasis] it's little of my business what they do with themselves, unless I am one of the participants. As long as they aren't hurting anyone it's all fine by me.

 

[Iron Lightning]

There is no point of being in a relationship if you're going to be sleeping around. Sex is, whether you like it or not, a display of love. It's a physical way to display love and commitment. To think of it as nothing more than reproductive recreation is to deny one of the things that makes humanity civilized rather than animalistic. If you actually love someone, you won't want to be screwing other people.

I just don't like the feel of this post. Mainly the "Sex is, whether you like it or not, a display of love" part is throwing me off. Why? Is that an absolute for everyone? I'm calling bullshit.

I suppose I should have worded it differently. The point was that, culturally, sex means something (or at least it should: it's been defiled plenty in recent years, but the idea is still that sex means love). Point being, you'll be hard-pressed to find someone who wouldn't think you're a douche if you're married and sleeping around, let along a wife who'd be okay with it. It may be an area where you have to decide whether your own views are worth being estranged from society as such, but sociologically the idea doesn't work out either. The "family unit" is an incredibly important part of any society, and is absolutely vital to the functionality of any society. To take the exclusivity of sex out of that concept would be a huge blow. Things like this are the things that separate us from animals: we are cultured, and can create a society in which we can all coexist. The family unit (and thus, sexual exclusivity) is one of many things that, if eliminated from society, could cause a complete collapse of it (I know it sounds melodramatic, but I cannot stress the importance of this concept to a working society).

So it's not necessarily an absolute for everyone: I believe it is, but I don't expect everyone to go by the same belief system as I. Point is, you may think like this, but society as a whole has an extremely good reason to disagree.

Well sir, you are quite correct in that sexual exclusivity is a societal norm, however I must disagree with you insofar as it being a societal necessity. Take, for example, the Islamic world where sexual exclusivity is the exception and not the norm. Sure, good parts of the Muslim world remains undeveloped, but if you can show me that the blame for their relative non-industrialization is purely due to sexual non-exclusivity, then I'll eat my hat.

In regards to your assertion that sexual exclusivity separates us from the animals, you are aware that several animal species form exclusively monogamous relationships, right?

While I disagree with your opinion, this may be simply because I lack exacting understanding of it. If you would, good sir, might you expand upon your point about the workings of society being able to be completely undermined by sexual non-exclusivity?

More on Topic: I say that if it feels groovy and doesn't harm anyone then do it. Honestly, I'm a bit surprised at the party line for this topic being predominantly monogamy, of course it is the societal party line, so it isn't that strange.

 

[Hurray Forums]

Sex is not inherently a loving act, it's not inherently amazing or emotional or any of the things people in this thread are claiming it to be. It can be those things, but that depends on the people having sex, context, the emotions that go into the act etc etc. There are plenty of other ways to express love, if a couple decides to not use sex that way, or to use sex that way and then go have meaningless "for fun" sex with someone else than that's fine(if it's discussed by the couple beforehand obviously). It doesn't automatically make them a bad couple or uncommitted, it just makes them different. I agree it doesn't work most of the time, normally ends in heartbreak, a lot of them are just sex obsessed perverts, blah blah blah, but that doesn't mean it can never work or that the practice in general is automatically bad. It's perfectly fine to say it's "not for you" but to say the practice as a whole is wrong wreaks of bigotry.

 

[thylasos]

Not for me. The way I operate essentially ensures I feel very strongly for the other person before we're even together; I can't be with someone if they're seeing someone else. I don't steal girls and I would far prefer any lass I'm with simply to leave me than cheat on me.

Obviously I don't mind other people doing it, mind. Honesty's all that's necessary.

 

[Rensenhito]

Absolutely not on my part! if my gf asked how i would feel about it and that she wanted to do it, i would leave her...

but she doesnt so every1 is happy ^^


has someone always says only 1 key to a (dunno the word) (hole in the door, to insert the key mencioned before ).

Um... keyhole?

OT: Just to get the religion thing out of the way, I'm agnostic. I find myself incapable of believing in God or anything he (supposedly) dictated some 2000-ish years ago.
That said...
I don't think I could ever do the whole "open relationship" thing. I'm not very sexually experienced, having only ever done anything like that with 2 girls in my entire life, and maybe that's part of why I feel I wouldn't be able to do it. It would just feel so wrong. Sex has always been a special thing for my girlfriend and me, and doing it with someone else just wouldn't cut it. For one thing, I'd feel like I was betraying my girlfriend if I did it, even if she was 100% okay with it. For another thing, I would feel betrayed myself knowing that some guy I don't really know is banging my girlfriend. I might even feel inadequate. That's when the whole relationship thing would come crashing down.
So, in summary, no. I don't think it'd work. Not for me. Maybe for some, but not for me.