Poll: Are "Gamer Girls" shooting themselves in the foot?

[Miles Tormani]

It annoys me to a massive extent, to see my best friend pretending she's a hardcore gamer and using it to flirt with guys despite the fact that she has only ever played Wii Fit. Once. However, it also annoys me if I'm asked if I'm female in game, I say yes and then suddenly I'm an attention seeking whore.

Holy crap, someone who gets it. QFT on all points.

 

[Kajin]

My personal motto is to treat people the way they treat me. If a girl signs onto my session and just wants to play the game, I'm fine with that. I'll treat her the way I treat every other gamer I play with. But if a girl signs onto my session and starts treating me like a piece of shit than I'm going to start treating her like a piece of shit. Oh, you're bitching at me about equal rights? Okay, here's an equal boot out of the session!

 

[DividedUnity]

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you could read the minds of women who play games. I was going to argue against you, but you clearly know more than I do, oh great penis-owner. I mean, it is pretty obvious that with the invention of voice chat, hiding one's gender on the internet has become difficult, and then of course the idea that one shouldn't have to hide his or her gender comes to mind, but those points have already been defeated, as you, OP, clearly know every situation a female gamer must face and have thought about them deeply and from their perspective. I apologize for ever having doubted you, oh great testosterone-having guru.

Yep. I can read everyones mind. I can tell you're being sarcastic. Frigging magic isn't it.

Since when is voice chat required to play a game? I wouldn't even bother saying team work because the last time I seen people using teamwork online was in Defcon and that only has text chat. I didn't say it was right that anyone has to hide his/her gender, I said revelaing it has consequences and you have to deal with those. I didn't that it was right nor wrong i said that it was the way things are.

Maybe next time actually contribute something to the discussion or don't bother posting because that sargasm you just had was pretty damn pointless.

 

[godofallu]

Lets be honest, what's the hottest thing to guys that play videogames? Girls that play videogames.

I think every normal gamer guy like me has had multiple relationships in the past, no basically every relationship, where the girlfriend doesn't play videogames and thinks videogames are for kids.

It would be a pretty crazy fantasy where just once a girlfriend actually would play with you, instead of silently judging you in rage and dismay as you play the newly bought RPG for 8 hours in a row.

Oh and gamergirls totally shoot themselves in the foot by picking names like UberHotChiX and adding some hot anime chick as their avatar. It would be like me picking the name SiXPackStud and using James Bond as my avatar.

 

[Azure Sky]

Oh yeah, because allowing people to assume you're male is so much better. That's what your vaunted "gender neutrality" is-- people assuming "default" gender. In the case of gamers, "default" gender is male, thus why gamers don't hit on people whose gender they don't know-- they think the person is a guy.

While I can see where you are coming from, I know that I (And hopefully I am not alone here) consider the default online gender as "I don't give a damn." This branches off into three main areas, "Good Gamer", "Bad Gamer" and "Douchebag". "Male" and "Female" rarely come into it in my case, mic or no mic.

Here is what I generally do

Spoiler: Example is long, uses WoW, and will probably bore/confuse people who know little game lingo

I was doing some heroic instances a few weeks ago and this is what ensued. (Gundrak for those that are interested/care)

This is by no means a word by word account, just what I can remember to the best of my ability, but it should carry the same gist of what happened.

Do keep in mind I have been with these same people for close to 2 hours doing consecutive instances.

(Tank): Afk a minute
[3 minutes pass, we lose a DPS, Being up to Moorabi we don't bother replacing them, another DPS goes for a smoke]
(Tank): Sorry about that, phonecall.
(DPS 1): Was it *Insert name here* again?
[I forgot the name, the person speaking was on the same server and guilded with the tank, seeing as they spoke in a familiar manner I assume they were friends]
{Tank}: Yeah
{DPS 1): At this hour? You really should find someone else, preferably someone that can show some basic respect
(Healer-Me) It's late there? What time?
[With the ability to group with anyone across servers now, I find it interesting to see where abouts some people are from.]
(DPS 1) It's about *Enter time here* Cali. Your server is Oceanic right?
(Me): Yeah, Australia
(Tank): I know *Enter semi long reply referring to a 'he'*
[DPS 2 apparently comes back from their smoke at this time]
(DPS 2): Holy shit your a chick?
[I can't quite remember what #2 said, but it was to that same effect]
(Tank): Yeah
[We pull Moorabi seeing that everyone is back]
[DPS 2 keeps asking retarded questions all the way until we down Eck]
(Me): Seriously, enough with the stupid questions, you are already the lowest damage/gear here, enough fucking around typing annoying bullshit and pull your bloody weight.
(DPS 2) *Whine whine, ***** *****, more stupid remarks and questions*
[After the next pull, I initiate a vote kick as I am a firm believer of discarding dead weight]
[The kick against DPS 2 is passed within 1 second, I swear to god it is the fastest kick I have seen]
(Me): Good, now, shall we finish this?
(DPS 1): I was just about to do that, good riddance
[We finish the run and then have several more]

Over the next few runs I have a /whisper convo with the tank in-between pulls in which we discussed the the finer points of playing a paladin (She was tanking as one, I was healing as one) as well as having a laugh at the expense of guys that react like a taser gun to the spine at the mere mention of girls playing games.

Did I enjoy gaming with her and her female friend? (As I learned after the run in question)
Hell yes! As I do with any gamer that knows how to play without being a jackass.

Was I acting that way because she was a girl?
Pfft, no. I have been known to chew out gamers who I know are female when they are acting like a douche or making retarded mistakes.

Not like it matters either way, the new cross server random instance system basically means I will never see anyone I party with via the LFG system more then once unless it is by fluke.

So there is my example, it's long and it's boring, but it's MIEN! =3

I approach this the same way I approach the guy parading around in a rainbow shirt, admitting to be gay, and despite his extremely vocal desire to be treated equal, demands positive attention from everyone. Like he's more important.

I tell him to shut the hell up, quit shoving his sexuality down other people's throats, and stop making me look bad. Equal treatment does not mean you get to be more special than everyone else.

The hypocrisy of some people in minority groups is just staggering. If the dudes I hang out with start talking about chicks, I simply back out of the conversation. If someone brings that up, I tell them that I have no interest in what they're talking about, but I'll readily discuss the next topic they switch to if it actually concerns me.

On the flip side, when one of my buddies said "I'm sure everyone in this room has liked a girl in a videogame," it was too perfect an opportunity to be an asshole based on semantics and say "I have no idea what you're talking about."

I also agree with this in full.

That last bit made me giggle. =3

 

[Miles Tormani]

I also agree with this in full.

That last bit made me giggle. =3

The best part was that he got so pissed off at me. Like, "Fuck you, you've had this experience before. Don't lie to me."

My response was, "No, I have never had an infatuation with a girl in a videogame." It was at that point that he realized why I said that in the first place. He called me a douche, but I'm pretty sure we laughed it off. At least, I hope so.

I hope he doesn't see that I'm talking about it right now.

 

[Azure Sky]

I also agree with this in full.

That last bit made me giggle. =3

The best part was that he got so pissed off at me. Like, "Fuck you, you've had this experience before. Don't lie to me."

My response was, "No, I have never had an infatuation with a girl in a videogame." It was at that point that he realized why I said that in the first place. He called me a douche, but I'm pretty sure we laughed it off. At least, I hope so.

I hope he doesn't see that I'm talking about it right now.

He be a smart cookie =3

That would have been really funny to see.

 

[Escapefromwhatever]

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you could read the minds of women who play games. I was going to argue against you, but you clearly know more than I do, oh great penis-owner. I mean, it is pretty obvious that with the invention of voice chat, hiding one's gender on the internet has become difficult, and then of course the idea that one shouldn't have to hide his or her gender comes to mind, but those points have already been defeated, as you, OP, clearly know every situation a female gamer must face and have thought about them deeply and from their perspective. I apologize for ever having doubted you, oh great testosterone-having guru.

Yep. I can read everyones mind. I can tell you're being sarcastic. Frigging magic isn't it.

Since when is voice chat required to play a game? I wouldn't even bother saying team work because the last time I seen people using teamwork online was in Defcon and that only has text chat. I didn't say it was right that anyone has to hide his/her gender, I said revelaing it has consequences and you have to deal with those. I didn't that it was right nor wrong i said that it was the way things are.

Maybe next time actually contribute something to the discussion or don't bother posting because that sargasm you just had was pretty damn pointless.

Or the point went over your head. I was saying that your main post assumes that these "Gamer Gurlz" actually exist, or that they exist in large enough quantities to be significant. I doubt that. I have yet to meet a girl gamer who acts any differently than a regular gamer, and I refuse to see why she should.

As for the consequences- they aren't really shooting themselves in the foot if other people attack them for their gender, are they? That's more like having a bullet pierced through their skull.

 

[Miles Tormani]

He be a smart cookie =3

That would have been really funny to see.

Oh, don't get me wrong. He's very intelligent. I just don't think he realized that he specifically referred to video game females. Probably came natural to him on account of being a straight male. I don't hold it against him. It's just a funny story to tell.

Though back on topic, I think he has the same opinion on the "obnoxious minority gamers" as I do. I know he has no problem with normal "minority gamers," because he's introduced me to a few. But we both have a rather strong urge to punch a stereotypical "fag" in the face.

 

[Aesir23]

Some do it simply because they want attention, and they think that having boobs and being able to press a few buttons will get them that attention.

I suppose some might do it because as shes they dislike being referred to as he, and since most gamers are hes, by default any time a third person pronoun is needed, he will be used by default. To avoid that, drawing attention to the fact that they're a girl will get the appropriate she to be used.

But also, "this". I've been called "he" or "sir" a number of times on forums (this one included), so I'll usually only call attention to my gender in order to correct that.

But online, if I'm using a mic and they bring up how my voice sounds, I either have to let them know I'm a girl or let them think that I'm some kid who has yet to hit puberty.

And in defence of my username, it's been my internet identity since I was 15 years old. If Google is to be believed, I'm the only person with this username. So I'm keeping it.

 

[Naheal]

There are no girls on the internet.

 

[Tharwen]

It just irritates me how they attempt to claim equality at the same time as actively separating themselves from us.

There's a logical paradox there, and most girls don't seem to see it. I think this site has some more mature girls/women though.

 

[foodmaniac]

GIRL - Guy In Real Life.

Okay, I admit that was a little lame, but it still chuckle at it sometimes. I have girl friends who play CS, better than I do actually - granted I can't stand CS, the only FPS I play is TF2. Sexism just isn't cool. Well serious sexism isn't but the some jokes are okay as long as you don't go too far, but I think its okay for girls to game. It might just be me, but I find that it's pretty hot.

"Who moved the PC into the Kitchen"

Funny that, my computer is actually in my kitchen. It's a little awkward I know, but my kitchen basically is split in half, so its not really the kitchen...

 

[DividedUnity]

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you could read the minds of women who play games. I was going to argue against you, but you clearly know more than I do, oh great penis-owner. I mean, it is pretty obvious that with the invention of voice chat, hiding one's gender on the internet has become difficult, and then of course the idea that one shouldn't have to hide his or her gender comes to mind, but those points have already been defeated, as you, OP, clearly know every situation a female gamer must face and have thought about them deeply and from their perspective. I apologize for ever having doubted you, oh great testosterone-having guru.

Yep. I can read everyones mind. I can tell you're being sarcastic. Frigging magic isn't it.

Since when is voice chat required to play a game? I wouldn't even bother saying team work because the last time I seen people using teamwork online was in Defcon and that only has text chat. I didn't say it was right that anyone has to hide his/her gender, I said revelaing it has consequences and you have to deal with those. I didn't that it was right nor wrong i said that it was the way things are.

Maybe next time actually contribute something to the discussion or don't bother posting because that sargasm you just had was pretty damn pointless.

Or the point went over your head. I was saying that your main post assumes that these "Gamer Gurlz" actually exist, or that they exist in large enough quantities to be significant. I doubt that. I have yet to meet a girl gamer who acts any differently than a regular gamer, and I refuse to see why she should.

As for the consequences- they aren't really shooting themselves in the foot if other people attack them for their gender, are they? That's more like having a bullet pierced through their skull.

So they don't really exist in large quantities eh? Most of these posts from other users would beg to differ. Considering the escapist audience is pretty diverse in terms of games they play and systems they play on I think its safe to assume that the amount of people here suggests "Gamer gurls" are in significant quantity and thats negating personal experience I've had on steam and XBL.

The 2nd footnote in my OP shows one of the groups on steam which has 500+ members and considering theres more than one group as well as many female steam users having "Gamer gurl" descriptions in their profiles is a pretty good example.

Shooting yourself in the foot is a safer analogie. Commiting suicide is too touchy a topic to use an analogy of that.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

So no. Just no.

Well said. (the whole thing, not just the snip.)

OT: I've discovered from this site that the most whiny, sensitive, thin skinned ethnic group is that of white guys. Every perceived inequality or unfair act garners threads with hundreds of irate responses. I thank God we haven't encountered any true injustices - say, loss of land, citizenship, or freedom, or we'd have drowned in our own tears by now.

Ooooh! Ouch! (And I think it only stings because it has a grain of truth )

It's about the personality, not the gender. It's never really about "girls" or "jews", it's about idiots on the net and how people respond to them. Sure, you can go all militant and ***** about having your "group" belittled, but you have to understand the possibility of it backfiring, like the "gamer girls" have demonstrated.

Really, gamer girls, just like everyone else, have to understand a few internet truths.

Haters gonna hate. It's not about you, or your gender, or your race. It's about getting a reaction out of you for the troll's enjoyment.
Reaction to that hate doesn't gain you respect, it just involves you in a flame war.
The greatest problem of the Internet is also it's greatest strength - the anonymity. No one can force you to listen to the shit. Just disconnect. Or go elsewhere. You know, act like a responsible adult.

It's how I negotiate the internet, and I'm a girl, and I've never had trouble from anonymous people.

 

[Resurrectionist]

No one can force you to listen to the shit. Just disconnect. Or go elsewhere. You know, act like a responsible adult.

It's how I negotiate the internet, and I'm a girl, and I've never had trouble from anonymous people.

For the win.

 

[Escapefromwhatever]

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you could read the minds of women who play games. I was going to argue against you, but you clearly know more than I do, oh great penis-owner. I mean, it is pretty obvious that with the invention of voice chat, hiding one's gender on the internet has become difficult, and then of course the idea that one shouldn't have to hide his or her gender comes to mind, but those points have already been defeated, as you, OP, clearly know every situation a female gamer must face and have thought about them deeply and from their perspective. I apologize for ever having doubted you, oh great testosterone-having guru.

Yep. I can read everyones mind. I can tell you're being sarcastic. Frigging magic isn't it.

Since when is voice chat required to play a game? I wouldn't even bother saying team work because the last time I seen people using teamwork online was in Defcon and that only has text chat. I didn't say it was right that anyone has to hide his/her gender, I said revelaing it has consequences and you have to deal with those. I didn't that it was right nor wrong i said that it was the way things are.

Maybe next time actually contribute something to the discussion or don't bother posting because that sargasm you just had was pretty damn pointless.

Or the point went over your head. I was saying that your main post assumes that these "Gamer Gurlz" actually exist, or that they exist in large enough quantities to be significant. I doubt that. I have yet to meet a girl gamer who acts any differently than a regular gamer, and I refuse to see why she should.

As for the consequences- they aren't really shooting themselves in the foot if other people attack them for their gender, are they? That's more like having a bullet pierced through their skull.

So they don't really exist in large quantities eh? Most of these posts from other users would beg to differ. Considering the escapist audience is pretty diverse in terms of games they play and systems they play on I think its safe to assume that the amount of people here suggests "Gamer gurls" are in significant quantity and thats negating personal experience I've had on steam and XBL.

The 2nd footnote in my OP shows one of the groups on steam which has 500+ members and considering theres more than one group as well as many female steam users having "Gamer gurl" descriptions in their profiles is a pretty good example.

Shooting yourself in the foot is a safer analogie. Commiting suicide is too touchy a topic to use an analogy of that.

I will concede to you that these groups exist. I will bring up that I doubt every member of these types of groups acts in the way that you describe "Gamer Gurlz" as doing. They probably just want a place to enjoy their hobby without the criticism that you admit they receive. Hence, they are not "Gamer Gurlz," as you would put, but just regular gamers seeking to have a good time. Therefore, the "Gamer Gurl" is a construct that does not exist in reality, or at least in very few numbers. I've seen far less girls advertising themselves and complaining about how they get treated online than boys complaining about these mythical and legendary "Gamer Gurlz" who actually do. As for your analogy, I wasn't talking about suicide. I was just saying that they're not shooting themselves in the foot. They're not to blame for the consequences of admitting what sex they are. And they should be allowed to be open about their sex. It's the people who make it difficult for them to enjoy their hobby that are, metaphorically, shooting them.

In short,

1. I think your description of a girl gamer is a strawman.
2. Are "Gamer Girls" shooting themselves in the foot? No.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

I think some are.
Iv met so many who say they want to be treated equal and yet call me a Pig when i don't acknowledge that they're Female and deserve some respect.

But that's not gender equality, which is what they campaign for. If they want extra respect because they are female, they have to take the bad with that as well.

 

[CapnRaccoon]

Maaaaan, so bad. I can't stand the whole "I'm a girl gamer, don't go hitting on me or commenting on the fact that I'm female. Nope, don't do it. I have a vagina. and boobies. but nope, don't comment"
"Hey a girl!"
"EUGH YOU MEN ARE SO STEREOTYPICAL"
I'm not one to be bothered with female gamers, they're merely another target/party member, but that shit happens ALL the time.

 

[Sebenko]

In my opinion, due to the anonymity of the internet, if you reveal anything personal about yourself, you WILL lose any "equality" you had. No one needs to know about your lack of a wang or high levels of melanin or whatever differentiates you. Yes, that includes me. But I'm not shouting about that in TF2.

Of course, I also have my hatred inability to get along with women/girls/ladies/gurls /whatever they are. That might be a problem. The only way to change that is to be less of a dick, and there's no way in hell that's happening.