Poll: "If you cry, you're weak."
- Thread starter Elle-Jai
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i second thisNeutralDrow said:
If crying makes one weak, call me Wimp-Man.
i've cryed for numerus reason through out the years, in public an privet, it don't think of it as a sign of weakness, its just one way the body deals with stress
I've never followed the 'Manly men don't cry' stereotype.
I cry when I'm really down and out or feeling hopeless.
I don't milk it though, and I avoid it if possible so as not to draw attention.
When I lose a girlfriend, it helps to shed a few.
I cry when I'm really down and out or feeling hopeless.
I don't milk it though, and I avoid it if possible so as not to draw attention.
When I lose a girlfriend, it helps to shed a few.
Incidentally, I don't subscribe to that school of thought. I'm one of those "nurturing" female types who instantly rallies whenever someone's upset, but seem to think I should be made of steel and that I'm not allowed to have/express any emotion. Clearly, I would never want to inflict that on anyone else. Anywhere. Ever. Especially someone who was clearly vulnerable at the time.theSovietConnection said:
That would make me a bully and a jerk. I'm neither. Just an emotional cripple apparently :S
Forgot about this part.Elle-Jai said:On the other hand, if you subscribe to the "harden the **** up" school, then please explain why for that as well
Mental toughness is just as important as physical toughness, probably more so since EVERYONE uses there mind, while only a portion of humanity uses their physic. One should toughen themselves up for any task they expect to perform, so unless you plan on being emotionally dead, you should be emotionally tough.
Elle-Jai said:I've noticed most opinion seems to hold that crying equates to weakness and only young children can get away with it.
So my question is really "Is it every okay for an adult to cry?"
Obviously it's fine if someone has just died, or your sports team just lost the Grand Final... But apart from that, when is it ok?
On the other hand, if you subscribe to the "harden the **** up" school, then please explain why for that as well
For that last example, I'd have to say that's a little bit odd. I mean, I'm not big on watching competitive sports so maybe I can't sympathise, but that strikes me as a 'grow a pair' situation.
However, I find it odd that you seem to indicate that women are given the same pressure as men not to cry: would you mind if I ask where you live? I've never once seen anyone mock a girl for crying, it's only guys who get that. I personally believe people should be free to cry at things they consider to be genuinely say, however I am somewhat hypocritical since it's been drilled into me that "if you cry, you are weak, you are unattractive, you will be targeted" from school years. I know that, as a man, if I were to be seen to cry in public people would less likely sympathise with me, but mock me. I also know if I was to cry in front of a woman, they would most likely see me as unattractive.
While I believe people should be able to cry on their own terms, society has drilled it into me that I'm not allowed to cry to the point where I've not been able to cry when I know it's both appropriate and healthy. I've held back emotions to the point of mental breakdowns and been to funerals with the same expression I have when attending a boring seminar, and it makes me sad to know it's affected me so much.
Not sad enough to cry though, I'm not some faggy little kid. /ironic.humour.attempt
exactly, I couldn't put it better myself. Also I'm surprised by the amount of people that believe that not crying means you don't feel emotions.AccursedTheory said:Forgot about this part.Elle-Jai said:On the other hand, if you subscribe to the "harden the **** up" school, then please explain why for that as well
Mental toughness is just as important as physical toughness, probably more so since EVERYONE uses there mind, while only a portion of humanity uses their physic. One should toughen themselves up for any task they expect to perform, so unless you plan on being emotionally dead, you should be emotionally tough.
I see crying as a loss of my ability to make rational decitions, and it advertises that fact to everyone else around you as well. in that vein, crying in private and when there is nothing that needs doing is fine and a good way to resolve tension, but if there is anything going on that matters crying makes one ineffective at decision making and incapable of leading.
that is very long winded but suffice to say, in own house watching sad film ok, at work (particularly bad for me as i'm going to be a soldier) or during a natural disaster for example not ok.
that is very long winded but suffice to say, in own house watching sad film ok, at work (particularly bad for me as i'm going to be a soldier) or during a natural disaster for example not ok.
I'm fine with crying, hell I do it myself on rare occasions I'd prefer not to name. But I do have to admit it does seem kind of weak. I understand the Silent tears, but the "BLAAAAHHHH" variety make you seem...wimpy.
Oh, sorry if it sounded like I was accusing you of thinking like that, I just meant the people that do say that.Elle-Jai said:
Indeed. Quite frankly, the notion that crying as an adult is wrong and/or means you are weak is a load of bullshit.Nicarus said:Couldn't have said it better myself.NeutralDrow said:
If crying makes one weak, call me Wimp-Man.
Yeah, but does emotionally tough mean holding everything in, shoving it all under a rug somewhere and ignoring it, or is it actually better in the long run to feel it, work through it, and move on? Then it's not buried deep in your psyche waiting to bite you in the ass later. (Which for me would be... now.)AccursedTheory said:
Yeah, the sports reference was partly to amuse myself and partly because in Victoria, Australia at least, the AFL is so ingrained and for many people (predominately guys) it is one of the few acceptable times for a grown man to cry.AngloDoom said:
I'm surrounded by guys. They're not precisely equipped to deal with emotion, so I mostly get a lecture on why I shouldn't be sad at whatever has upset me. Whatever the final trigger was, it was by no means the only thing upsetting me at the time. I learnt to just keep repressing rather than go through the hassle of (variously) "I'll put you on the prayer list at church." "..." followed by random dirty jokes. Getting ignored, getting hugged silently because there was nothing to say, being hit on.... Just to name a few. Meanwhile, my stepmother constantly drilled into me that only babies cry and I needed to harden up.AngloDoom said:
I tend to go through phases. When my Nanna (my second mother, who we were also living with at the time) died, I couldn't cry. Just spent months chanting "brick wall, brick wall, be a brick wall" to myself. I was ten. I found her when trying to wake her up, alone in the house. I repressed to the point that I started bursting into tears every time I went to school, about 5 years later. I never got severely hassled, but after years worth of bullying in grades Prep-6, I'd finally worked out how to stop them and actually befriend most of the former tormentors.
As for guys crying- actually there's something kinda sexy about a man who can express his emotions. I'd rather date a guy who cried at the end of "Cars" (yes, that little kid animation) than some guy who looked at me all confused and neanderthal-like when I burst into tears.
