Crying is a perfectly healthy way to let out your emotions. There is nothing weak about it. Its sterotyped as weak because small children cry often at the first sign of discomfort.
Poll: "If you cry, you're weak."
- Thread starter Elle-Jai
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the last time I can remember crying was out of rage in middle school, long story short no one fucked with me for the rest of middle school and the story of it followed me to high school so no one did it there either.
I dont think less of someone for crying, I have a friend who cries at sad movies but he can also beat up navy seals and has done it, has even won some amateur mma tournaments but hes a big softy when it comes to emotions.
I dont think less of someone for crying, I have a friend who cries at sad movies but he can also beat up navy seals and has done it, has even won some amateur mma tournaments but hes a big softy when it comes to emotions.
Crying for a good reason (Death, extreme pain, etc) is not what I'm talking about. Those are perfectly reasonable and understandable.Elle-Jai said:
I was under the impression we were talking about an unreasonably large amounts of crying, which I find disgusting.
Like I said, mental toughness is just like physical toughness. Its reasonable to cry over a crushed limb, but pathetic to cry over paper cuts.
"Do my tears...surprise you? Strong men also cry, Mr. Lebowski. Strong men... also... cry."
?The Big Lebowski, The Big Lebowski
Personally I cry all the time. Even when I'm not emotional at all. Like, tears just kind of burst. I should see like an eye doctor or something.
?The Big Lebowski, The Big Lebowski
Personally I cry all the time. Even when I'm not emotional at all. Like, tears just kind of burst. I should see like an eye doctor or something.
There's sissy tears, normal acceptable tears, and Manly Tears.
Sissy tears are unacceptable. They are when people cry from a small things, like being punched in the gut, taking a small scratch, or being insulted.
Normal acceptable tears are, obviously, acceptable. They're from severely painful conditions(hemorrhaging, broken bones, etc.) or very emotional situations(parents just died, etc.)
Manly Tears are tears shed in Manly situations, like crying over the death of a true bro who takes the bullet for you, saving your life. If you don't cry in these situations you have no soul.
Sissy tears are unacceptable. They are when people cry from a small things, like being punched in the gut, taking a small scratch, or being insulted.
Normal acceptable tears are, obviously, acceptable. They're from severely painful conditions(hemorrhaging, broken bones, etc.) or very emotional situations(parents just died, etc.)
Manly Tears are tears shed in Manly situations, like crying over the death of a true bro who takes the bullet for you, saving your life. If you don't cry in these situations you have no soul.
If it's physical pain, rub dirt in it, drink water and drive on. Emotional pain is a bit different. If you cry because you didn't get the brand of soda you wanted, get over it. If your significant other leaves and takes your kids and dog with, it's perfectly ok to go somewhere private and have a cry.
The social stigma here is that crying is for the weak, only women are allowed to cry - men who cry are 'pathetic' and excluded from any and all male bonding circles and are ostracised.
Is this the right thing to do? I don't know. You could argue it's sexist to view only women as okay to cry as it implies they are 'weak', but i would say it's because people generally believe women are more or get more emotional than men, therefore it's okay for them to cry. Men still have the ME TARZAN YOU JANE thing wired into their heads, so they feel they have to be alpha male and never cry, must always be top dog and ahead of the pack, must never show emotion or weakness... etc.
I think that a lot of bigoted men who strive to be alpha male also equate crying (and on a bigger scale, being emotional in general) to homosoexuality. If you're emotional, you're thought to be in touch with your feminine side and thus gay. Before people bash me for being anti-gay or sexist or whatever, i'm just explaining social stigmas here - i know we are all open-minded and fairly liberal folks, but the general public is lightyears behind most internet forums in terms of acceptance and equality!
Edit: My father is very old fashioned in his views and beliefs. I don't think i've ever seen him cry. To be honest, i think he'd rather put a shotgun to his balls than cry, even at a funeral. I don't know if it's because of how he was brought up or whether he's just a very hardy man.
Is this the right thing to do? I don't know. You could argue it's sexist to view only women as okay to cry as it implies they are 'weak', but i would say it's because people generally believe women are more or get more emotional than men, therefore it's okay for them to cry. Men still have the ME TARZAN YOU JANE thing wired into their heads, so they feel they have to be alpha male and never cry, must always be top dog and ahead of the pack, must never show emotion or weakness... etc.
I think that a lot of bigoted men who strive to be alpha male also equate crying (and on a bigger scale, being emotional in general) to homosoexuality. If you're emotional, you're thought to be in touch with your feminine side and thus gay. Before people bash me for being anti-gay or sexist or whatever, i'm just explaining social stigmas here - i know we are all open-minded and fairly liberal folks, but the general public is lightyears behind most internet forums in terms of acceptance and equality!
Edit: My father is very old fashioned in his views and beliefs. I don't think i've ever seen him cry. To be honest, i think he'd rather put a shotgun to his balls than cry, even at a funeral. I don't know if it's because of how he was brought up or whether he's just a very hardy man.
Last time I cried was while watching some episodes of Natsume Yujincho. I'm rather a romantic when it comes to things like love and such, so I get teary eye'd rather quickly when experiencing anything so beautiful.
Conversely, I am rather unaffected by such things as rage and hate. I guess desensitization can come in handy some times.
Conversely, I am rather unaffected by such things as rage and hate. I guess desensitization can come in handy some times.
I'm sure there are people who can cry and kick my ass at the same time, I wont hold it against them.Elle-Jai said:I've noticed most opinion seems to hold that crying equates to weakness and only young children can get away with it.
So my question is really "Is it ever okay for an adult to cry?"
Obviously it's fine if someone has just died, or your sports team just lost the Grand Final... But apart from that, when is it ok?
On the other hand, if you subscribe to the "harden the **** up" school, then please explain why for that as well
TRUE, there are other ways to express emotions, but (in my opinion) crying seems like the best way to do itMr. Gency said:
One of my friends challenged me to start this thread because our friend list IRL is composed of the repressed and the socially challenged. But I guess what started me off wondering about the topic is that for me personally, one has to feel safe to cry, so for some reason when I'm with my friends everything I've been studiously ignoring seems to come back with a vengeance and I find myself irrationally bursting into tears and physically unable to stop it. It was one of the most annoying/humiliating things ever, so I re-trained myself into an emotional cripple someone with a slightly more stable mood.AccursedTheory said:
Since I'm now off my nice soul destroying antidepressants and a fully registered major depression case since 2000, (along with some nasty secrets hidden in my past) I really NEED the support of my friends, but don't think I'm allowed to actually have emotion near them...
Never said I was logical. I AM female, after all. /ironic humour
As for the constant crying... When I complained to Graeme (counsellor) that I'd end up "spending six months crying" he replied that maybe I needed to. I'm not suggesting anyone be putting up with a hysterical female for six months, but since we go away for a couple of nights every fortnight, it's not like they don't have a front row seat to the crazy lady :S And I don't really want to drive them away.
Never. "There's no room for softness... not in Sparta. No place for weakness. Only the hard and strong may call themselves Spartans. Only the hard, only the strong."
