Poll: Looking for real advice not moral zealots
- Thread starter VitalSigns
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I wanted anonymous advice, people who don't know any of us, I find an outside opinion is better than an inside one in some cases. Plus this getting around our friends could potentially be bad. Sorry about the Head : Ass remark, I get defensive sometimes haha.Mimsofthedawg said:hmmmm... you know, I never intended to dis gamers at all. I was more saying that I would figure you'd ask a question like this to a person you know... I'll correct my statement...VitalSigns said:
"... a guy asking for advice on an internet forum..."
There.
"Do it do it do it!"
is what my primal man urge is saying to you
"My god you fool! You're willing to risk a loving marriage with an obviously kick ass woman considering she is open to the idea of a threesome??? CMON! Don't be a dumbass!"
is what my intellectual side is saying to you
is what my primal man urge is saying to you
"My god you fool! You're willing to risk a loving marriage with an obviously kick ass woman considering she is open to the idea of a threesome??? CMON! Don't be a dumbass!"
is what my intellectual side is saying to you
Personally I think you would be risking too much, I mean your fiancee is someone you obviously think you could spend your life with, whereas this other girl you simply have 'romantic feelings' for. Secondly, girls may claim to be open minded, but never are, or at least to the extent that they claim. Thirdly, don't you think this sounds like a million tv shows/movies where this would be a massive fuck up? Fourthly, you wouldn't enjoy it, that I can PROMISE you! You would spend the whole time worrying about what it might do to your current relationship and what if it sucked and then things are never the same? People genereally go into these things always thinking of best case scenarios, but in reality....those don't happen.
Good luck man, in the end it's up to you!
p.s. nice touch ask people on a gaming forum, the only girls we get are inflatable (I ain't talking about American girls either, more the plasticky ones.....on second thoughts that makes them sound more American...)
p.s. ignore the racism, i'm Scottish
Good luck man, in the end it's up to you!
p.s. nice touch ask people on a gaming forum, the only girls we get are inflatable (I ain't talking about American girls either, more the plasticky ones.....on second thoughts that makes them sound more American...)
p.s. ignore the racism, i'm Scottish
Sex outside a relationship is very likely to cause problems, even when it's mutually agreed upon. There is absolutely no way to anticipate what kind of trust or jealousy issues will arise in YOU much less someone else.
The vast majority of people who try this come to regret it, but not all.
I would jump on it if I were not serious about the girl I was with. But if I was serious about her, there is no way I would roll the dice.
The vast majority of people who try this come to regret it, but not all.
I would jump on it if I were not serious about the girl I was with. But if I was serious about her, there is no way I would roll the dice.
There's nothing so amusing as an ignoramus who wants to be a philosopher.Cheeze_Pavilion said:
Cut out the epigrams and you won't come across as quite so pretentious. I said what I said to the OP to mock him and his concept of marriage. I'd love to know if his fiancee was saving up for a big white wedding in a church. If only I could tip off their priest what a couple of fakes they were...
It really makes no difference whether you are experimenting with the oxymoron that is an Open Marriage, or failing miserably at monogamy during your Engagement, it is still a religious ceremony with legal after effects. It would really simplify matters if there was a Civil Union for Heterosexuals as there is for Homosexuals in the U.K. (that is, a non-religious monogamous legal union with all the benefits in Tax and Law), but as far as I know the powers that be denied us all this.
Take God out of the equation.
Give people the option to have a partner without having to lie their way through their oaths. After that I don't care what they get up to.
Your math is flawed... it should be:
man + woman + God = marriage
man + woman + woman = threesome
Note: how God chooses not to be present in the second equation.
Hmmm. You love your fiancee with all your heart, do you?VitalSigns said:
I doubt that. She should be more than enough for you...
The funny thing about all this is that I wouldn't recommend Marriage to anyone and don't ever intend to marry myself - more as a reaction to it being a religious union under God and me not believing than the potential restrictions of monogamy. I've never understood the whole psychology of this Bachelor Party/'Last night of freedom'/'Have sex with the stripper' thing that men do.
Trying it out now when the consequences are lower? Really, the OP should just quietly sit down with his girl and say:
"I think we should call off the Wedding given that we both want to fuck other people."
Just saying...
I think your an idiot, who is trying to dictate what love is based on sex. We love eachother and I'm not sure what makes you think you have the right to decide whether thats true or not.Uncompetative said:
Thats hilarious, honestly bro, Im going to say just go with the flow, if they want to do it, go for it.
Its not as great as you might think, and trust me on that. I say don't do it, the risks far outweigh the benefits. If you and your fiance weren't getting married and were just going out then yes. But you are getting married and it will come back to haunt you some time down the road. Do what you want but I recommend that you don't do it.
If you make it down here to read this I commend you.. if this is a troll. Well done!
Sooner or later your going to have to stick to your own moral subtext on the issue. If you do this your taking steps away from a monogamous relationship and while your friend jokingly started it your half of the relationship is the initiator of this event. This means basically your obligated to be at the will of any similar desires your fiancée has now and in the future.
Polyamorus (POLY AMORY NOT POLY GAMY) activity is just that. You have a female friend with romantic notions towards you.. these are not controllable no emotions are editable.. you can suppress them you can even ignore them but the stress and pressure will always be there and this is 100% of a psychotherapists cause for existence is the ego A type forcing of emotions to or away from yourself unnaturally.
Also. Do not.. ever. take.. advice.. and act on it from peers. They aren't you.. you don't know how you feel and for lesser reasons it is a hit to you integrity to let anyone else to the driving.
Feeling nervous or weird about stuff like this is natural int hat new things always cause jitter especially if they are utterly alien so the social promoted norms. Bottom line, the honest acceptance or rejection of it will happen after this occurs, you'll know if your cut out for it or not.
More to the point and most importantly. even if it costs you everything you have the confidence in what you want will be solid afterward either way. Whether you like it or NOT odds are it needs to happen.
Sooner or later your going to have to stick to your own moral subtext on the issue. If you do this your taking steps away from a monogamous relationship and while your friend jokingly started it your half of the relationship is the initiator of this event. This means basically your obligated to be at the will of any similar desires your fiancée has now and in the future.
Polyamorus (POLY AMORY NOT POLY GAMY) activity is just that. You have a female friend with romantic notions towards you.. these are not controllable no emotions are editable.. you can suppress them you can even ignore them but the stress and pressure will always be there and this is 100% of a psychotherapists cause for existence is the ego A type forcing of emotions to or away from yourself unnaturally.
Also. Do not.. ever. take.. advice.. and act on it from peers. They aren't you.. you don't know how you feel and for lesser reasons it is a hit to you integrity to let anyone else to the driving.
Feeling nervous or weird about stuff like this is natural int hat new things always cause jitter especially if they are utterly alien so the social promoted norms. Bottom line, the honest acceptance or rejection of it will happen after this occurs, you'll know if your cut out for it or not.
More to the point and most importantly. even if it costs you everything you have the confidence in what you want will be solid afterward either way. Whether you like it or NOT odds are it needs to happen.
Hmm In the end, its very much up to you dude but some things to think about are:
1. You only live once and in my mind try to take every possibly good experience thats on offer.
2. Think about the mindset of the other girl, I'm sorry ladies but as much as guys can be pricks, women can play some pretty horrific mind games to get their own way.
3. Everything might be great at the idea stage but it can be alot different when in practice. Someone might suddenly change their mind, it could even be you and then things become sour.
4. Your girlfriend can get jealous either mid sex or sometime after about something simple like "the way you looked at her" or "you've never done that with me" etc and that starts a rift between the two of you.
5. Is it really worth it? Is it something you personally desperatly want or is it just a gimmicky kind of thing that your not really to arsed about. Would you still want one even if she was against the idea.
6. From my "experience" its happend after being drunk and it can become quite a funny, laughable scenario, even silly. Its still a threesome but its nothing like you'd see in a porn film. Granted this proably was just the drink that made mine go a bit comical.
At the end of the day. It's up to you. This probably isn't the question an internet forum holds the answers to. Talk it over with a mate who knows you both and can give you an informed external view on the situation. Though be prepared they may ask to join in haha
1. You only live once and in my mind try to take every possibly good experience thats on offer.
2. Think about the mindset of the other girl, I'm sorry ladies but as much as guys can be pricks, women can play some pretty horrific mind games to get their own way.
3. Everything might be great at the idea stage but it can be alot different when in practice. Someone might suddenly change their mind, it could even be you and then things become sour.
4. Your girlfriend can get jealous either mid sex or sometime after about something simple like "the way you looked at her" or "you've never done that with me" etc and that starts a rift between the two of you.
5. Is it really worth it? Is it something you personally desperatly want or is it just a gimmicky kind of thing that your not really to arsed about. Would you still want one even if she was against the idea.
6. From my "experience" its happend after being drunk and it can become quite a funny, laughable scenario, even silly. Its still a threesome but its nothing like you'd see in a porn film. Granted this proably was just the drink that made mine go a bit comical.
At the end of the day. It's up to you. This probably isn't the question an internet forum holds the answers to.
Talk it over with a mate who knows you both and can give you an informed external view on the situation. Though be prepared they may ask to join in haha