Poll: Questions about dating a Muslim

[Longstreet]

Watch out for the family.

Not kidding, last week a Muslim girl here got killed by either her brother, mother or both because she dated a non-Muslim kid.

Have fun with that.

 

[yuval152]

Depends on how religious is she, if she's a muslim because of what she beleives, then you're out of luck. But if she's a muslim because of her family then you have a shot.

Since we're not telepathic, you're going to have to ask her yourself if she's strict or not.

Watch out for the family.

Not kidding, last week a Muslim girl here got killed by either her brother, mother or both because she dated a non-Muslim kid.

Have fun with that.

Wow... That's horrible.

 

[Zeckt]

I don't mean to be racist, but I am under the impression that being non muslim and and white and being sexually interested in a muslim girl is just asking for your tires to get slashed by some vengeful cousin. I had it happen to a friend of mine, the family did everything in their power to push him away. It would help if you would of stated how friendly the actual family is in your post, otherwise there is too much open for interpretation. Call me a racist if you want, but they COULD be a vengeful family and whatever is said won't change that.

I just don't know, but it would be a good idea to find out just how religious the entire family is including cousins and uncles and such. Just one of them could make your life hell when you discover your windshield and side window's shattered and your tires popped. Do your homework. I would not bother if the family is unfriendly and involving honestly. Too much hassle. Why go under a microscope and be judged? You have nothing to prove, be yourself. If the family were to give me attitude at the first impression I'd tell them to go to hell. That's just my advice though. If they are friendly then BY ALL MEANS date her. But seriously fuck all those judging families. Muslim or no. Why prove anything to anybody unless you want a job from them? don't conform, if they don't like you for who you are then you can do better.

 

[FFP2]

Forced by people around them. Forced by culture. Maybe even forced by local interpretation of the religion or bullying imams. But not forced by the religion as a whole.

I'm sure that's a very valuable thereotical distinction to all the women violently oppressed in the name of Islam.

Not by their religion though. They usually wear it to bring respect to their family/not embarrass them.

Or because they're forced to.

Can I just say something? Can we please respect other people's religion even if we don't agree with it? Most of the comments are quite respectful... But some of them are really fucked up.

There is no reason to respect a belief system just because it's a religion. If the Nazis had worshipped Hitler as their God Führer, would you respect Nazism?

Woman are oppressed throughout the world, irrespective of religion.

And they're not forced to. Do some research.

Are you comparing people that follow a religion to Nazis? Seriously man?

 

[IckleMissMayhem]

Given that the OP stated that they're friends, it's highly unlikely that she/her family are all that strict...

Why is it that the answer I find myself giving time and time again on any romance-related threads is simply "talk to her..."

 

[FFP2]

Watch out for the family.

Not kidding, last week a Muslim girl here got killed by either her brother, mother or both because she dated a non-Muslim kid.

Have fun with that.

Damn... That's rough.

I'm sure it's a valuable distinction to anyone who wants to speak the truth and not spout uninformed hate.

It's ok to hate some things.

Ah, but we're not just talking about hate, we're talking about ignorant hate. Of hating an entire group because of what only a portion of its members do. Of falsely suggesting that the whole group is responsible for the actions of a portion of its members. Of intentionally spreading false information about a group in order to spread one's hate.

That's poor.

We're not talking about a hypothetical fascist genocide religion.

Yeah, we're talking about a real one.

Reported for flagrantly insulting a group of people.

But the principle remains unchanged whether we're talking about Islam or an imaginary Nazi religion. If you must respect all religions, a Nazi religion would be no different. Any belief system designated as a religion would have to be respected, no matter what its beliefs are.

I'll give you a little hint here- I don't give a damn about your absurd little strawman argument, where you try and pass your hatred and spreading of ignorance as some kind of philosophical point. You are wrong about the head coverings and you are being unduly obnoxious. That's wrong if we're talking about a religion, company, country, or poker club.

The vast majority of Muslims are what you might call "extremists," as a direct result of what the religion stands for.

Believe me, I spend a great deal of my time around Muslims. I am not going to buy this claim for a moment, especially when you haven't bothered to define what "extremists" even is and haven't bothered to provide even a shred of objective data.

Give it up man. This isn't a thread for spreading hate. This is a thread for helping a guy get together with a woman he likes who may also like him. If you can't help, maybe you could show your class by refraining from derailing the discussion with hateful slurs against an entire population?

I don't think we should bother arguing with him. He seems to have his mind made up already.

OT: Spill OP! Did you ask her out? Are you nervous?

I may be a little too invested in this now...

Edit- I just had a brilliant idea. Ask her parents for their blessing/permission. If they're okay with it, you're good to go. If not... Well I doubt you two would last very long if they don't approve. Muslim fams tend to be very tightly knit.

 

[Lovely Mixture]

If you do date her, before anything else, ask if she follows, Hadith - Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi 3118: "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third."

This applies to non-mahram (non-family and family via relationships). For example: If you, her, and a friend are together, she will not speak with your friend because s/he's the devil.

I speak from experience.

 

[Quaxar]

Why shouldn't I insult a group of people following a religion that makes the Nazis look like Buddhists?

Do you even read what you're writing? Because either you apparently know neither Islam, Buddhism nor possibly national socialism or you're deliberately making awful comparisons in an attempt to undermine your own credibility.
And whether or not Islam is asource of evil and oppression isn't topic of this thread by a far shot so might I suggest to discontinue this stance either way? I think the OP and a lot of other users would appreciate it.

 

[FFP2]

Spoiler: Misinformed bullshit

Ah, but we're not just talking about hate, we're talking about ignorant hate. Of hating an entire group because of what only a portion of its members do.

But it's not just a portion (by which you seem to mean "a small portion"), so where is the ignorance?

Of falsely suggesting that the whole group is responsible for the actions of a portion of its members.

I never said anything about the whole group.

Of intentionally spreading false information about a group in order to spread one's hate.

Why wouldn't I hate a religion that makes the Nazis look like Buddhists?

Reported for flagrantly insulting a group of people.

Why shouldn't I insult a group of people following a religion that makes the Nazis look like Buddhists?

I'll give you a little hint here- I don't give a damn about your absurd little strawman argument, where you try and pass your hatred and spreading of ignorance as some kind of philosophical point. You are wrong about the head coverings and you are being unduly obnoxious. That's wrong if we're talking about a religion, company, country, or poker club.

If you say that a belief system must be respected because it's a religion, then you are necessarily saying that ANY belief system classified as a religion must be respected, no matter what its belief are.

If you really think Muslim women around the world are completely free to not follow their local dress code, you are delusional.

Believe me, I spend a great deal of my time around Muslims. I am not going to buy this claim for a moment, especially when you haven't bothered to define what "extremists" even is and haven't bothered to provide even a shred of objective data.

There are more confirmed extremists in the world than the number of Muslims you personally know. Like, millions of more.

Woman are oppressed throughout the world, irrespective of religion.

This is like saying Afghanistan is not a dangerous place because all places in the world are at least a little dangerous. Makes no sense.

And they're not forced to. Do some research.

Lol.

Are you comparing people that follow a religion to Nazis? Seriously man?

It doesn't say anywhere that a religion must necessarily be a peaceful and reasonable one.

Yeah I'm definitely done arguing with you.

 

[DesiPrinceX09]

Ok, I got a question. This girl and I have been friends for a really long time and I think we're both crushing on each other, so I'm planning to ask her out. The only real catch is that she's Indian and a Muslim, I'm not, and I've never really had any contact with Muslims because there's not many where I live (I have made sure she's Muslim, not Hindu). Are there anything specifics I need to know about dating one? I really don't wannna make a bad impression early on, especially to her family, by doing something they'd think was disprespectful. I know to stear clear of politics and a lot of current events near her family (even though me and her talk politics all the time, the different perspective is part of why I like her) but I don't know about basics like customs and courtesies. Any help from my fellow Escapists is highly appreciated, especially if you've had experience with this sort of stuff.

very respectfully,
sharkeyes

I was born and raised Muslim in a Muslim family, so I could tell you more than most people. They can give you info about Islam itself, but I can give you actual insight into Muslim culture and lifestyle. First off, I'm not sure how religious this lady friend of yours is but there's something you should know: DATING is forbidden in Islam, so even if she is fine with dating and wants too, BEWARE THE PARENTS.Its very important to learn what sect of Islam she is from, either Sunni, Shia, Sufi, etc. Depending on how strict and devout the family is, if you don't impress and learn things about the parents and Islamic customs, then youre doomed. If they are strict and you talk to them, you may have to agree with things you may not actually agree with, your world views need to match Islamic customs or else the (strict) parents won't like you. If they aren't strict, then truthfully you don't need any advice, its like dating any other person.

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

I've heard certain different ways about exactly what Halaal is. Do you actually know how they're killed?

It's pretty goddamn brutal.
I don't approve of it myself and would never want to touch the stuff.

Spoiler: EXTREMELY GRAPHIC

Spoiler: I'm warning you man!

Spoiler: Bloody! continue at your own risk!

Pretty horrific film. What's the reason for solely eating halal meat?

The main reason is to not mingle with non-Muslims. Non-Muslims like, say, Christians, eat pork and prawns and scallops and other such delicacies, so Mohammed and his folks basically copy-pasted the Jewish rules... and made some more up.

The thing is, only a Muslim butcher can/is allowed to slaughter the animal in a 'proper' halal way, which most of the time really is a bloody mess and a truly traumatic experience for all other animals standing around witnessing the... attack.

So, any meatstuff is generally forbidden until proven to be 'halal'. Some muslims I know (the intelligent and fun kind) do not care too much about the mostly very detailed and mostly very retarded rules about what to do and how to do it, but some 'orthodox' or 'radical' Muslims (they don't consider themselves to be that) take these rules very seriously. For example, when going to the loo, their exposed genitals must never face the 'holy' site of where the alien eggs hatched and spilt the black goo.

Know what? Here, have some 'official' wrap-up of that, so you know how... intricate and... complicated some details can be:

Among the signs of the greatness of the blessed Islamic sharee?ah is the fact that there is no good thing, major or minor, that it has not commanded us to do or pointed the way to it, and there is no bad thing, major or minor, that it has not warned us against or forbidden. It is perfect and complete in all aspects, a fact which has often greatly astonished non-Muslims and earned their admiration. (At the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)), one of the mushrikeen (polytheists) said to (the Prophet?s Companion) Salmaan al-Farsi (may Allaah be pleased with him): ?Your Prophet has taught you everything, even how to defecate!? Salmaan said: ?Yes, he forbade us to face the qiblah when urinating or defecating?? (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 16; he said it is a saheeh hasan hadeeth; also reported in Saheeh Muslim and elsewhere). Islamic sharee?ah includes a number of rules and manners to be followed when answering the call of nature, including the following:



Not to face the qiblah (direction of prayer, i.e. the Ka?bah which was built in Makkah by Ibrahim, upon whom be peace, as commanded by Allaah) when urinating or defecating. This is out of respect for the Qiblah and for the symbols and rituals of Allaah. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ?When any one of you sits down to answer the call of nature, he should not face the qiblah or turn his back towards it.? (Reported by Muslim, 389).

He should not touch his penis with his right hand when urinating, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ?When any one of you urinates, he should not hold his penis in his right hand or clean it with his right hand; and (when drinking), he should not breathe into the vessel.? (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 150).

etc... etc... etc... etc... et cetera ad infinitum.

 

[Floppertje]

hey... crazy idea here... maybe you should ask HER about it? since you're already going to ask her to date you and therefore you're throwing your cards open on the table, you might as well follow up with something like 'I know you're a muslim, is there anything I should know so I don't accidentally offend you or your family'. good communication is the basis for any relationship, right?

 

[zumbledum]

I've heard certain different ways about exactly what Halaal is. Do you actually know how they're killed?

Its a case of who kills it more than how though it is a ritualistic torture fest and imo should be illegal in most western countries under cruelty to animal laws.

the method is to hang the animal by its hind legs slit its throat and let it bleed out. but the important thing is it has to be done by an iman (priest type)

As to tips well it depends how zealous they are, you wouldnt be allowed to date her if they are strict anyway

 

[bliebblob]

snip

Yes there are a lot of little rules like no alcohol, no pork, etc. But unless you're dealing with total purists, they're not nearly adhered to as strictly as in times past. Exactly like how being a Christian no longer necessarily means you go to church every sunday, or pray before bed every night.
So I could probably make a whole list of things Muslims must do and can't do, but it'd be pointless because there's no telling which ones actually apply in your case. I also wouldn't recommend straight up asking what not to do. It may seem like a good idea but it'll probably be really awkward. Kinda like asking if she ever wants kids on the first date. No if I were you, I'd just go for it and see if any religious stuff comes up. And when it does just be respectful about it, even if it makes no sense to you.
But if it's something you really can't deal with... Well than it looks like you're gonna have to make a hard choice.

Also don't forget it's not all on you to accommodate her beliefs. For example, imagine you decided to cook her dinner but she goes apeshit because you made pork. That'd be totally unfair on her part. It's true you could have asked if pork was OK or not, but you are in no way obliged to. She on the other hand IS obliged to warn you it's that big of a deal to her. After all, like I said before: there's really no telling if she even follows the no pork rule.
Don't worry though I'm pretty sure it won't come to that

Oh and one final tip: don't bring up circumcision. Just don't. If you really want to know that badly, that's what the internet is for.

Source: grew up in a town that's roughly 50% Muslim, 50% Christian.
Quoted because: I felt I needed to make my reply somewhat more visible, as some of the other replies are not nearly as well-informed as they think they are.

Now go get her tiger!