Julianking93 said:
Recently, I've started talking to a girl whom I've grown quite fond of. We met on a chat room about a week ago and have been talking ever since almost daily.
Now, I know what you're thinking, "Julian! How could you? I expected better from you. You met her on the internet! She's probably a guy!"
To that I say, first off let me finish Mr. Mcshitface and second, there is absolutely no possible way that she's a guy. A guy wouldn't put this much effort for this long on just a prank. Besides, I've talked to her on the phone and we've met in person. (it was a local chat room)
Anyway, after talking to her for a while, I've grown quite a liking to her. She's almost the exact thing I was dreaming of when I thought of a perfect girlfriend. She's into videogames, she likes the same music as I do, she reads manga, she's sweet and she's Japanese/American (I like Asian women). She's actually one of the nicest girls I've ever met in my life.
The other day, things got sort of serious when she told me she liked me. A lot. I could tell the sincerity in her voice. And that's what made it so much harder when I discovered her one, tiny little difference from me in the form of this text. After talking to her, I said something (I can't remember) followed by "Oh my God" to which she replied:
[spoiler/]"Could you do me a favor. Please say Gosh instead of God. I mean...you aren't really talking to God."[/spoiler]
God. Fucking. Damnit.
That's right Escapist. Through several other questions and by her responses, I learned that this seemingly perfect girl is a bible thumping, Obama hating, gay bashing, Evangelical Christian. Her beliefs go exactly the opposite of mine and now I don't know what to do.
She really is one of the sweetest and most compassionate girls I've ever met, but to hear all this just is crazy to me (but I guess there's always a catch).
I don't know what to do. She goes against all my own personal morals and beliefs yet I have a soft spot for her. It also doesn't help that she told me I'm the first guy she's ever had feelings for and that she thinks she's falling for me.
What should I do?
If you feel the need to, PM me about the situation.
The first thing to understand is that you cannot change her. Under no circumstances will you be able to "prove" her wrong, or persuade her to love Obama, gays, and cease thumping the bible. She'll continue to believe what she believes, and you'll have to either take the bad with the good, or not.
So, with that in mind: do you like her enough to see yourself with her in spite of your ideological differences? If you do, then you'll have to accept that there's the baggage that goes with it. She'll go to church, hate Obama, bash gays, and love the bible. If you can take all of that as the cost of doing business, then you need to take the next step.
Tell her how you feel; all of it. Explain that you don't believe what she believes, and that you're as committed and full of conviction as she is. Tell her that you won't try to reform her, but she has to promise not to try to reform you, and that you'll both have to accept and respect the other's beliefs and worldviews. The ball at that point is in her court. She can either make the same decision you did, or probably explain that she couldn't see herself dating a godless heathen, and break it off.
If you do end up going out, it's all a matter of deciding how, if at all, to deal with spirituality. Admittedly, it's easier for a complete atheist, because I don't really care about spirituality, much less talking about it. If you do care about talking about it, you'll have to have set-in-stone ground rules for any conversation about it.