Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted but only up to the first level. You must wait 100 years for the next level.

I wish I could will curry into existence.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. It sure exists alright. You just have to find it.

I wish I could control myself.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but someone stole the remote control and now you have to do anything they say.

I wish for these flies to die.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. Now you've gotta worry about the pissed off frogs.

I wish I had a talent.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted. You have a talent for failing.

I wish I didn't have to make dinner today.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, your stomach is missing so you don't need food ever again! Enjoy the internal bleeding!

I wish for an end to violence.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, now everything is solved peacefully and without anyone even getting angry. It's so peaceful that you can't take it and start bazooka'ing it up like it's 1985.

I wish for money for pizza.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but someone beats you up and steals them from you.

I wish for chewing gum.

 

[steeple]

granted, you now have a gum that's chewing you...

I wish for happiness and sunshine

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but you're too happy to notice that the sun is giving you a heatstroke.

I wish for awesome music.

 

[steeple]

granted [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ]

I wish to be able to read the entire funniest joke in the world (that from monty python) without suffering from death or any other injury

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but you are unable to say or do anything funny ever again, because you know it would be nothing compared to that joke.

I wish I could fly.

 

[steeple]

granted, you are now being chased by lex luthor...

I wish morrowind would stop crashing...

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, now it just runs really slow.

I wish that seagulls would work like Wind Waker.

 

[SixWingedAsura]

Granted, but Hyoi Pears don't exist, so you can't control them.

And they poo on you.

I wish I had a lifetime supply of coffee, coffee filters, creamer and sugar.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but you lost the key for the storage where you've kept it all.

I wish for the ghost of Michael Crichton.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. Now it's haunting the shit out of you along with 90 other ghosts.

I wish for more free time.

 

[steeple]

Spoiler: granted, enjoy!

I wish for something exciting to happen, like an asteriod crash...

or a delivery of mini-pizzas...

 

[Robert632]

Granted. An asteroid made of mini-pizzas crashes into you.

I wish for tofu.

 

[steeple]

granted, you're now eating tofu... that's enough of a torment, isnt it?

I wish I wish I was a fish...