Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you're a goldfish. Now to flush you.

I wish Heroes would happen.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, too bad the heroes are fighting for the wrong side and destroy your town!

I wish I hadn't been to lazy to Google Heroes.

 

[Dr.Susse]

True but now you're addicted it.

I wish Dylan Moran was president.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, he's the president of the chess club!

I wish I had the skills of a drummer.

 

[Flamezdudes]

Granted, but every drum kit you use immediately breaks.

I wish I had a large Gundam mech.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it is immediately stolen by the person you hate most.

I wish for a voice call.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, someone in a far off and distant France is calling out to you right now. Too bad you can't hear them...

I wish a snake would find its way into my boss's house.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but it's Snake Plisken and all he does is raid the fridge.

I wish for an 80s reference.

 

[The Thinker]

Granted, but its the 0280's, so you don't get it.

I wish for precisely 279,643,201 tea cups, situated in a manner so that they shall not harm anything I like.

 

[steeple]

granted, you now have to count every single one to make sure the quantity is correct

I wish that my wish wont be tampered with in any way...

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you get to make sure all those tea cups are filled with a precise amount of tea, at exactly the right temperature.

I wish for a ball of forest green yarn.

 

[steeple]

granted. it's huge, and it crushes you to death.

I wish ubisoft would throw the always-online drm to the trash

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but then ubisoft goes bankrupt ..which makes all their games fail ...magically.

I wish my roommate was a better baker.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. Now your room-mate bakes bad on purpose.

I wish I could go pee.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, enjoy the wet pants.

I wish I could be in better shape.

 

[Emurlahn]

You are now a pentagon, a clearly better shape.

I wish I could be more entertained.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, a serial killer is amusing you with your intestines with your last few moments of life.

I wish for awesome movies.

 

[The Thinker]

Granted, but they're so awesome your head asplode.

I wish to have omniscience over my aforementioned teacups.

 

[steeple]

granted, you're now, also, a little tea-cup...

I wish for a funny picture to lighten up the graveyard-mood in this thread (because it's dead!)

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but the picture can only be seen by cats and dogs.

I wish for a smart girlfriend.. but she's not smart enough to leave me or cheat on me.