Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[zfactor]

Granted, but it requires more processing power than Crysis.

I wish I had some food right now.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, but it's dog food.

I wish for the power of x-ray vision.

 

[zfactor]

Granted, but instead of X-Ray eyes, you get the electricity needed to run them (the "power" of them, get it? LOLZ).

I wish I had a cat.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, but it's Big the cat.

I wish for immortality.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. However, after about a week of immortality, you fall in and are trapped forever in concrete, with no one ever knowing you were there.

I wish that I get to live in an igloo for a month.

 

[havass]

Granted, but you have no clothes.

I wish I get what I want.

 

[Holy_Handgrenade]

Granted but it's wage is so big you have to sell the house and the driveway.

I wish I was loved by women every where.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, but Susan Boyle ends up on your doorstep.

I wish I had a pet duck.

 

[Robert632]

Granted, but it flies away and never come back after about a week.

I wish for more snow.

 

[MrJKapowey]

Granted, but there is so much snow that you are snowed in so heavily your house collapses.

I wish I hadn't prestiged...

 

[Holy_Handgrenade]

Granted, you couldn't prestige because you don't have hands.

I wish to be a international playboy.

 

[Cash84]

Granted, but he requires "relief" every 6 minutes.

I wish I knew who stole my SNES.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. the guy/girl who stole your SNES told you they stole it...right before they kill you so you don't report whoever it is to the police.

i wish the world worked like a Mortal Combat stage.

 

[Isaac The Grape]

Granted: you get your skull smashed in by a bum you bump into.

I wish for the ownership of a TARDIS.

 

[Trivun]

Granted, but there's a time lock on it so you can only travel between now and the end of the universe.

I wish I was Battler Ushiromiya... ;D.

 

[Isaac The Grape]

Granted, but he emerges from another universe and kills you for taking his place in life.

I wish for a PS3.

 

[havass]

Granted. You have a broken PS3.

I wish for a hidden blade.

 

[Steppin Razor]

Granted. You have a blade hidden in your ass. Fully sharpened and without a sheath, too.

I wish to be the best there ever was.