Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but the memory of it drives you to insanity.

I wish for Captchas to jump in a hole and die, preferably next to the Atari ET game.

 

[Verzin]

I wish I had lazer beam eyes and a nuclear fusion reactor instead of a lymphatic system, aaaaand....two balls of gluueuue TO BE MY FRIENDS!!! and I wish to go dancing...NAKED!

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

^Above poster: Doesn't work like that mate.^

 

[Robert632]

Granted, but the memory of it drives you to insanity.

I wish for Captchas to jump in a hole and die, preferably next to the Atari ET game.

Granted, but then they become zombies...because, and their first victim is you.

I wish I had lazer beam eyes and a nuclear fusion reactor instead of a lymphatic system, aaaaand....two balls of gluueuue TO BE MY FRIENDS!!! and I wish to go dancing...NAKED!

Granted, but after going to jail for public nudity, you accidentally lazer eye your two glue ball friends. You become incredibly depressed and commit suicide, and the nuclear reactor inside you kills everyone around you when you do. You are then hated by everyone in the afterlife forever, with no way out.

I wish I could ruin 14 wishes at once.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted, but you have no way of knowing what you actually ruined.

I wish for a comet to destroy Earth.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but it was in a game of galactic snooker and the shooter didn't get the cannon he was hoping for and left a shot on Mars wide open.

I wish for a lamington.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You only have a lamington. No more FOREVER!!!!!

I wish for a living cabbage doll.

 

[JLML]

Granted, but you become inanimate in its place.

I wish I could fly.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted. You fly too close to the sun and crash into the ground.

I wish for a new episode of "Shadow of Israpheal".

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but your internet breaks just as you click on the play button.

I wish for a pencil.

 

[Viridian]

Granted, but your pencil has been sharpened down to a stub.

I wish my calculus professor didn't have the unintelligible accent of an Asian foreigner.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, he now mumbles his words very quietly.

I wish for shiny things. Lots of shiny...

 

[JLML]

Granted, but they loose their shininess after 2 seconds.

I wish for awesomesauce.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. As soon as it touches your lips, it's no longer zesty.

I wish for a new avatar.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You hate it and are also permanently stuck with it.

I wish for dolls that are made out of lamps.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but they get very hot and catch on fire occasionally.

I wish for no more hangovers.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted. Alchool no longer exsists.

I wish for no more war.

 

[JLML]

Granted, the planet becomes so uninhabitable we all have to work together to save a handful of rich, fat people to send to a colony on Mars.

I wish for death.

 

[him over there]

Granted, you are legally classified as dead from now on, you go on living.

I wish for a meteor to hit my neighbour's car.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, the resulting explosion kills you as well.

I wish for a copy of Chromhounds(shutup, it's a good game).