Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Evil Smurf]

granted, it is very good at making you insane!
I wish for sweet guitar skills

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted, you are now addicted to cocaine.
I wish for the rocky horror picture show on DVD.

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted. It is made of pubic hair.
I wish for more people on my thread

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted...

...what? I'm here! Oh, you mean WAY more people. Sorry, bro. Can't do that.

I wish for a nice birthday present to show up on my doorstep tomorrow.

 

[talker]

it shows up...
...but it's a nicely packaged bucket of cow poop

i wish that everybody leaves me alone.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Hey man, I bought you a copy of Kane and Lynch 1 & 2. Ar'n't I nice
I wish for force powers

 

[talker]

granted, you use the force to accidentally start a chain reaction that drops a 15-ton wrecking ball on your head

i wish i had a hammer

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted...But now you have to wake up, bro! The bomb is about to go off!

I wish I had more Mountain Dew.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted! it's dew...from a mountain...enjoy!
I wish i had a decent computer

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted, you don't have any good games anymore. You sold them to get the computer
I wish coffee came out of taps

 

[Evil Smurf]

granted, I broke it though. It only hits you in the nuts.
I wish for a camera

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. It's not digital, and film's gonna cost you extra.