Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[scorptatious]

Granted, but you go along with them.

I wish I came here earlier.

 

[Proton Packmule]

Granted, but after the pain you're tended to by a stunning and very friendly nurse.

I wish for massive strength.

 

[cryogeist]

granted...HEART ATTACK!

i wish there was a cure for cancer AND HIV

 

[leedwashere]

granted, but it requires the removal of your body from the waist down.

I wish there were no Tuesdays

 

[cryogeist]

Granted!
now your are stuck on monday!

I wish there were no more illnesses

 

[Quinadin]

Granted, but all viruses and illness causing bacteria are replaced with one type of nanobot that eats your liver.

I wish I had the perfect girlfriend.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted!
she is a robot....BENT ON KILLING ALL HUMANS!!!

I wish for a colt 1911

 

[Quinadin]

Granted, it comes in a booby trapped box that shoots you through the head when you open it.

I wish I had my teaching degree.

 

[leedwashere]

granted, but it only licenses you to teach while in an ideal, frictionless vacuum.

I wish that tennis wasn't so hard on the ankles

 

[cryogeist]

granted!
its hard on your life
you die

I wish for nothing

 

[PixelKing]

Granted!

....Clever bastard.

I wish for the girl I like to love me.

 

[Quinadin]

Granted! She loves you to death, but you find her not to be what you wanted.

I wish I had Civilization 5.

(also you missed the perfect opportunity to send the person above you to deep space.)

 

[PixelKing]

Granted. Its a broken copy.

I wish for eternal life AND youth (Combo'd)

 

[Quinadin]

So it is wished, so shall it be. However you have no legs and have lost all control of your bowels. (Combo'd back)

I wish for a lovely house in the country.

 

[leedwashere]

granted, but its in the country in Somalia

I wish that Zaeed Massani will have a huge part in Mass Effect 3

 

[PixelKing]

Granted. We took the A, 2 Es, both S's and put them in the title.

I wish I was dead.

 

[Quinadin]

Granted, you're dead but you suffer from reincarnation sickness. Meaning you've just been reincarnated. only 29,375,261 more reincarnations before you reach nothing.

I wish for one billion dollars! *puts pinky to mouth*

 

[cryogeist]

Granted. it crushes you

I wish that i had stuff