Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. You're now very meek and timid when talking to others, like somepony [http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Fluttershy] I know.

I wish I had a pony.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but rabid internet haters come and slaughter it for its meat in front of your very eyes.

I wish for drama!

 

[ZehMadScientist]

Granted, you are the newest cast member for Jersey Shore!

I wish the moon would blow up.

 

[PhunkyPhazon]

Granted, but a chunk of it lands on your house.

 

[M0rp43vs]

I wish you posted a wish that I could grant

 

[ZehMadScientist]

Granted, but it is so sophisticated, you are stupified as to what to do.

I wish I could play guitar like Jimi Hendrix.

 

[M0rp43vs]

Granted but you earn the ire of a bunch of stuck up musical elitist who drown you in self assured superiority. It is not a good(nor sanitary) way to go

I wish real life was a creepy surreal anime a la Zetsubou sensei or Dead leaves

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, you can only make it drizzle.

I wish for a lazer.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, but you can never fire it.

I wish for more Lemon Pledge.

 

[Kuroneko97]

Consuela: No.......no.

I wish for more Gushers

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but you explode with flavor.

I wish for peace on Earth.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but it is achieved 1 second after you die.

I wiah for a rainbow fudge sundae.

 

[ZehMadScientist]

Granted, put the rainbow was puked out by someone.

I wish for mental stability.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You gain this mental stability from experimental brain surgery that leaves you with almost none of your original personality.

I wish for a giant's knife.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, it falls on you.

I wish for better ways to ruin wishes.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You become so good that you can't ruin a wish due to you always getting a better idea.

I wish for a piece of my own roast ass to eat.

 

[ZehMadScientist]

Granted... Err... it's too salty?

I wish I had an unlimited supply of beer!

 

[ThePenultimatePanda]

Granted, but it tastes like mustache hair and its too salty.

I wish there was a huge innovation in the fighting or leveling mechanics of Pokemon games.

 

[ZehMadScientist]

Granted, but it will turn into a generic FPS where grenades are replaced with Pokeballs.

I wish I had Korean StarCraft II skills.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but your hands are chopped off by jealous neighborhood gamers.

I wish for blood!