SEX!!!

[aww yea]

its just something you do really

the importance of it depends on the people involved

 

[hippykiller]

Pre-Martial sex is a terrible sin. Sex is something to share with someone you love. and if you love her than MARRY HER! and if you think that you need sex to love someone, you have never truly been in love mate.

 

[Xanadeas]

Since I never really did state this, I feel that sex is one of the best ways to get to know someone. You can spend years with a person and yes you do learn a great deal about them... However if you're having sex with a person you are as another poster said, at your most vulnerable. There's no room for lies or deceit in the act itself. It's quite hard to hide something when you don't have pockets, as it were. You're completely naked before this other person and they can see everything about you and you them. The things that make them twitch and say "Ooo" will say a lot about a person.

 

[Avatar Roku]

Yes they do, if only because sex in the proper context is the purest expression of love.

Purest? As a secularly minded individual, that raises an eyebrow. Consider my monocle-eyebrow raised.

Alright, let me expand. When you have sex, you are at your most vulnerable, emotionally and physically. So there's an expression of trust, one factor of love. Then the fact that you're working together for a common end. Companionship, another factor. Then, you make each other feel good, although not simply physically. Your own orgasm is there, of course, but mentally, the fact that you made them feel good may well be even better. Support, another factor. See where I'm going?

Also, a useless addendum, but I don't want to be misquoted five pages from now (by someone else, most likely, but still). I know I said "them", but only because I didn't want to use "him" or "her" because A)I don't know you or your preferences and B)I may not have been addressing just you.

I agree that it's intimate. I wouldn't say it's the purest expression of love.

Then what would you say is? Not attacking you, I'm just curious.

 

[cleverlymadeup]

There are more people who'd I'd be physically attracted to than there are people who I'd be able to have a relationship with beyond that - therefore attraction's less important.

No, attraction sifts out less people: that doesn't mean it's less important.

I agree with that lot. We're trained from a young age to believe that taking physical attractiveness into account is wrong, shallow, etc., but actually it's just natural.

Shallow as it may sound, I couldn't have a relationship with someone I found physically repulsive.

yeah i have run into a few people over the years that say "oh it doesn't matter what the person looks like" and yet they almost go for the more attractive person.

i'm in the same group as you, i won't ever date anyone that i find physically repulsive, i think it's rather unfair to the other person when you're always thinking of someone else while having sex

In a lot of cases you can't. There's a big difference between someone compromising to make you happy, and both of you enjoying something. Shared happiness is a big part of healthy sexual relationship. If there's not enough shared happiness where you *both* like the same thing, that's a recipe for disaster.

I see your point, but note the communication. A little "I like it when you..." can go a long way towards a mutually enjoyable experience.

Sure, I agree. Dan Savage calls it GGG or something.

The thing is we don't pay enough attention to when "a little" turns into "a lot."

And we also don't pay enough attention to people for whom sex--even vanilla, heteronormative sex--means more than it does for other people. We all have individual sexual identities we don't pay enough attention to.

here's the definition is Dan's own words

"GGG stands for 'good, giving, and game,' which is what we should all strive to be for our sex partners. Think 'good in bed,' 'giving equal time and equal pleasure,' and 'game for anything?within reason.'"

everyone should strive for that, also everyone should actually read his column and listen to his podcast, the man is pretty smart, tho it's gotten a lot tamer in recent years

 

[neuromasser]

Sex gets boring, unless you do it on expert
Seriously though, I would say that sex is more of obligation for me than something I would like to do every day all day (like some of you >.>).
I don't find it nearly as important as other things in a relationship, so that's the main thing my girlfriend finds repulsive. :-/

 

[Xanadeas]

Pre-Martial sex is a terrible sin. Sex is something to share with someone you love. and if you love her than MARRY HER! and if you think that you need sex to love someone, you have never truly been in love mate.

Oh dear.

Oh dear indeed.

 

[Lukeje]

Is it Pre-Martial sex if I don't intend to ever get married?

Whether it's pre-martial sex or not would depend on whether or not you were going to fight in a war afterward. Marriage would have nothing to do with it.

 

[GRoXERs]

Yes they do, if only because sex in the proper context is the purest expression of love.

Purest? As a secularly minded individual, that raises an eyebrow. Consider my monocle-eyebrow raised.

If you raised your monocle-eyebrow, wouldn't your monocle fall out?

I'd say that there is a definite difference between sex as a form of recreation and sex as a form of showing love. It's just better when you and the person you're having sex with love one another.

 

[Lord_Ascendant]

Sex should not keep you together. You should feel like you need that person in your life and that they complete you, not just that they are good in bed. If so, there would be no normal women and there would only be playboy bunnies, superficial California celebrity girls and well thats about it.

Casual Sex isn't "bad" but its frowned upon. I don;'t want it right now I'm not ready for that kind of commitment and besides, what girl or woman in their right mind would sleep with me?

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Isn't this all subjective anyway...?

 

[Lukeje]

Is it Pre-Martial sex if I don't intend to ever get married?

Whether it's pre-martial sex or not would depend on whether or not you were going to fight in a war afterward. Marriage would have nothing to do with it.

???

"Marital" has been consistently misspelled throughout the thread.

Think he's making a joke about your mis-spelling of the word 'marital'.

Ninja'd.

 

[t3h br0th3r]

Erana- you must be either pre-pubescent or very repressed to not understand why people lust for sex (sometimes with people's anuses).

the desire to have sex is a natural and needed thing, otherwise there would be no people around.

Scamola- the reasons why causal sex gets a bad rap includes but is not limited to:

1.) someone who does it all the time is by definition all kinds of names i don't want to repeat.
2.) not only the big three religions (Christianity, Judaism, Islam)but every other faith i have herd of don't allow it
3.) it spreads diseases
4.) it can cause an unwanted pregnancy.

I have to point out that the people on this thread seem to confuse sex for intimacy.

intimacy is closeness and attraction. it is that fire all couples need to have to attracted to each other in the first place. without it any relationship will fail.

sex is the act of reproduction. sex doesn't need any intimacy (ask around main street at 3am) although intimacy and that fire does lead to lust.


and Erana, i'm not tryng to call you out, i have chosen the same path that you have, but i think that before you start taking stances like that you should be informed.

my choice is based of faith, not fear or repulsion that will go away round age 13