Sexual Relationships

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

wouldnt know, only done it once, Ex was a *****. This town also only has Preg' teen mothers or girls my age (18-20) dating guys that are 28+ so I have no hope. If I was doing it, I have to say I wouldnt give two shits if there was an extra girl etc. sadly It wont happen but if it did, I would mind. might make a difference. everyone has different tastes after all.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

You seem conflicted, OP. Maybe you should consider being neutered. My dog used to want to fornicate with everything. But, since the operation, he doesn't try to hump anything. He might miss his testicles, but now he has more time for other things that he previously overlooked. You might find that you like to chew on sticks and chase rabbits too.

 

[Dys]

Perhaps I'm weird, but I struggle with new girls. Not like anything doesn't work, I just ...dunno, am uncomfortable moving things along too fast. I've never been in a committed relationship for any significant period of time because it always gets to a point where I feel bad about being with them, which is usually around the same time I find myself attracted to someone else. I'd like to think that I'll grow out of such attractions because it does ruin relationships for me, it's not like I'm even against open relationships, I guess I just don't like the lack of control I have over my urges. As a result, I tend to be very cautious of new partners, moving things along then inevitably the cycle repeats. It's rather frustrating.

 

[Mark067]

Not sure how much more obvious I need to make the fact that I wasn't entirely serious, but if you'd like fireworks or a big neon sign, just say so.
You're that important to me.

'Course, if I had been completely dead serious, you'd only be proving me right, so way to go either way.
You're either incapable of grasping the obvious or a detriment to the entire human race.
Your choice.

I'll take "detached" "arrogant" and "alienating" as compliments though.
You can keep the "waste of space" and "scum."
I feel they apply to you much more readily than myself.

But hey!
You can rest easy in the knowledge that you proved yourself contemptible enough to get ignored within your first five posts.
Cool stuff.
Most people take at least a few hundred.

You see how you're as trollable as anyone?
Harden up Maxy boy.
There are bigger boys than me around.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

People who need more than one partner at a time obviously need to find better partners. Hell, I'm not even having sex with my current partner (a thousand miles of ocean between us). Sure, you can have shallow, meaningless sex, but it's never going to be as important as sex with someone you care about. It's never going to mean as much, you're never going to have the kind of openess and honesty about what she wants to do, about what you want to do*.

So, yes, I'm a romantic.


*Subjective phrasing, have only been in heterosexual relationships, so feel free to switch terms around for your own orientation/gender/preferences/misc.

 

[Claymorez]

Oh yes, another relationship thread. Though this one isn't seeking advice, its just for the sake of starting discussion.

I've been pondering a while now about the nature of relationships, and whilst I don't doubt that there are people (fuck this one person bs, sorry if you believe in that) out there who can meet my 'emotional needs', or have enough depth to keep my interested for a while, I have a hard time picturing myself being sexually loyal to one person (meaning that I wouldn't prefer having sex with another). That's not to say I'd prefer going out with someone different then my significant other, but sex with the one person often gets dull. (yes there are ways to 'spice things up', but most times you'll either be with a prude or find it too offensive or strange to ask) of course I doubt anyones capacity to trust their partner enough to allow them to have multiple sexual partners, particularly since love can fade and I believe in more then having just that 'one' person. I guess my question is, would you be able to trust a partner to having an open sexual relationship? would you trust yourself? How about if its a hooker? The chance of an intimate connection seems to drop as the sex is 'professional'.

I'm sure I didn't quite portray my thoughts here right, I'll get back to this with tweaking tools eventually. But do discuss your opinions on the positives and negatives. I don't know about women, but I'm pretty sure every man has the sexual temptation programmed into him, no matter how much he loves his 'other'. Perhaps being allowed to indulge in such sexual exploits can alleviate some strain on a relationship too.

I agree that there are many people out there capable of meeting your sexual needs, and anyone who says that just because ur in a relationship or married you stop finding other women/men more or as attractive as your partner and want to mate with them sexually (sex!) is very naive. However I do believe that the whole point of marriage and proving your love and commitment to people is having the power to resist such temptation as adultery or cheating on your partner - think of it like, people feel if you share your body with someone else other than your partner your saying "I don't find you perfect" and that's ok but it still hurts - my view on relationships is there are lots of ppl suited to us and that its a good thing if you can stay in a healthy relationship and not cheat on one another, however if you both remain each others personal best friend, lawyer, soldier, guardian, gardener (e.g. when you a couple u promise to be these things to each other and more - to have closer emotional bond with them than other human beings) that is what matters and if your both ok with having open sexual relations with other people (not necessarily the same person cause that leads to problems and emotional attachment due to chemical reactions and hormone levels), to satisfy those urges later in the relationship, and keep up the emotional tie with ur main partner, and don't make you sexual statuses public to your children (if their involved/have em) thats ok/

 

[Caliostro]

but most times you'll either be with a prude or find it too offensive or strange to ask

Et voilá. Your issue. Need I say more?


As for your question, I personally know people who are in open relationships and it works for them. I'm not against them personally, but I don't want one with my girl.

 

[lenin_117]

Sex is only a fraction of a relationship. But i can see where your coming from.

A very large fraction, like 98%

Thats a decimal.

 

[Kenni-chan]

No offense, but this is what I think is a problem with modern culture: sex is nothing more than entertainment to us.

Way I see it, sex is supposed to be something enjoyed by two people in a committed, loving relationship. If only people actually did this, a lot of problems would be avoided, and in this case, you wouldn't need to worry about never seeing yourself with only one person because that person would be the only one you would care to have sex with.

I agree there. But as an example of social darwinism (It can't spell so suck it) sex has evolved into nothing more than entertainment which I find severly sad.
In the animal kingdom it severs the purpose simply to reproduce but in some species to stengthen bonds as mates. We humans aren't that much different on a primal level, just some of us keep that on an emotional one too.

I find myself kinda offended. To me you don't sound like a very nice person.

And if you find that sex with just one person gets dull over time and find it akward to suggest things to put the enjoyment back in then you should really not even bother getting into a relationship. i mean how can you find any emotional satisfaction if your fucking loads of different people, not to mention I highly doubt that you'd find a girl who would put up with that unless she has low self-esteem and fucks around as well.

 

[Silver]

It won't really come as a surprise to those who read my posts, but I don't really think the "traditional" nuclear family is anything but an outdated construct holding us back. I don't believe sex need to be as controversial as it is these days, or that it needs to be kept hidden, shameful and only between married couples.

I don't see anything wrong with having a sexual relationship with a friend, or multiple friends, without that changing your relationship. You don't have to be anything but friends. I also don't see how excluding yourself from multiple partners would necessarily improve a romantic relationship. I can see the appeal of sexual monogamy, but I don't believe it's necessary, or healthy for all people, in the long run. I also fail to see how sex needs to be connected with romance. Sure, sex will play a part in a romantic relationship, in some way or another, but it's just a part. A bigger part would be love, companionship, and communication. Seeing as all of those can be shared by others (in the case of love though, in other ways), I don't see why sex can't too.

I heard a saying once, that "a functional sex life is 5 % of a relationship, a dysfunctional one is 95% of a relationship", and I can agree with that. If the sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't work, things aren't going to work out well. If you can relieve your sexual tension elsewhere, that becomes less of an issue.

And this is only talking about monoamouros (or whatever the hell you English folk call it) relationships. A polyamouros relationship can work very well as well. We just have to get over outdated traditions and let our culture, our traditions and our society evolve as fast as we do, socially.

 

[cleverlymadeup]

yeah i tried to explain to my friend that sex was important in a relationship. when you're grown up, no sex in a relationship means you're just friends. unless you're really old and stuff doesn't work anymore

Isn't that a bit over simplistic? Sex really doesn't need to only not be part of an intimate relationship if the equipment doesn't work. There's more to being lovers than sex, and not having sex does not mean you're "just friends."

not really, it doesn't have to be overly complicated, too many people like to complicate things that don't need to be.

put it this way what's the difference between your partner and your best friend in the whole wide world? once you boil it down, you'll see really the only difference is you don't have sex with your best friend in the whole wide world but you do with your partner

 

[lizards]

do what i do 1 night stands

a very simple solution

But where's the emotional satisfaction?

if you want emotional satisfaction get a puppy (i love puppies) if you want sex go for the gold (1 night stands)

besides a puppy doesnt ***** at you day and night

edit: and also marriage is just a liscense to stop having fun........just saying

 

[FallenRainbows]

Sex is only a fraction of a relationship. But i can see where your coming from.

A very large fraction, like 98%

I now hate you.

 

[i_am_reaper]

It basically comes down to the trust you have between each other. Me and my gurl both work at porn shops as managers and is how we met. We are pretty open minded and very sexualy active. We have been together for 3 years now and have had multiple partners and enjoyed ourselves very much. We know there is a line between love and sex which is what makes our relationship work. Sex is sex, love is love. If you trust each other it will work if not well then ur fucked! Built the trust then ask ur partner for things. Sexual or otherwise but ALWAYS express yourself. Don't just hope that ur partner will do anything u want. You have to tell them what u like or want. Hell boys if ur lucky u might get a freak in the sack , and gurls u might get a guy that can lay the pipe just right!

 

[Rolling Thunder]

yeah i tried to explain to my friend that sex was important in a relationship. when you're grown up, no sex in a relationship means you're just friends. unless you're really old and stuff doesn't work anymore

Isn't that a bit over simplistic? Sex really doesn't need to only not be part of an intimate relationship if the equipment doesn't work. There's more to being lovers than sex, and not having sex does not mean you're "just friends."

not really, it doesn't have to be overly complicated, too many people like to complicate things that don't need to be.

put it this way what's the difference between your partner and your best friend in the whole wide world? once you boil it down, you'll see really the only difference is you don't have sex with your best friend in the whole wide world but you do with your partner

In other news tonight, gross oversimplifications are gross and simple.

 

[ma55ter_fett]

If I ever got into a long term relationship I would be faithfull, just because thats who I am and that is what I believe to be the correct thing to do.

You shop around before you get serious not after.