Since when was Being a Man Unattractive?
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All the girls at my school in my grade are pretty much preppy bitches, except for one. But I think I already lost my chance with her.
OneBig Man said:
You never mentioned how old you actually are. That behavior is more common among girls--or women who never matured.
Mature women appreciate respect. We do not like to be belittled or patronized--and despite the vast advances in society, women still do have to be on guard against that--but overall, mature women like respect.
So don't worry about immature girls.
Just like this guy said:
Bigeyez said:
I completely understand where you're coming from, I too have been chivalrous throughout the majority of my life and received nothing for my efforts.
Sorry, I was raised to respect women, it's how I do things.
I see girls I'm been interested in.
or at least was interested in for many years suddenly attaching themselves to the very same douche-bags that made fun of me in school...
So I know all too well what it's like when they genuinely do go for arseholes over you.
But really, like it's been said already it's a case of confidence.
Unfortunately we live in a time where chivalry doesn't do it any more.
We have unrequited love still but more often than not it ends in restraining orders or a prison sentence for stalking or whatever.
You literally have to fool yourself into thinking you're the greatest option they could go for.
Which in turn is silly.
I'm all for the basis of initial attraction and outright believe that love doesn't ever happen at first sight, that it's developed once everything is accepted about a partner.
But really, what chance does that really have when you have to pretend you're all confident and shit? Sure it doesn't hurt to be like that, in fact it's quite rewarding but when you're sacrificing personal comfort in order to impress someone who already doesn't appreciate the guy you really are...
What's the point?
It's why I'm glad me and my girlfriend spent 6 months prior to being together thinking that neither of us was interested, we got to be ourselves, genuinely and we both still wanted each other.
So seriously, regardless of how many people say that women are stupid or it's your fault for being too much of a pussy or whatever, just remember that eventually women do start paying attention to the things you and the things that make you, who you are, and the one's that like you for those things will make it known.
SO just be patient with them and try not to get all bothered when it doesn't happen.
Sorry, I was raised to respect women, it's how I do things.
I see girls I'm been interested in.
or at least was interested in for many years suddenly attaching themselves to the very same douche-bags that made fun of me in school...
So I know all too well what it's like when they genuinely do go for arseholes over you.
But really, like it's been said already it's a case of confidence.
Unfortunately we live in a time where chivalry doesn't do it any more.
We have unrequited love still but more often than not it ends in restraining orders or a prison sentence for stalking or whatever.
You literally have to fool yourself into thinking you're the greatest option they could go for.
Which in turn is silly.
I'm all for the basis of initial attraction and outright believe that love doesn't ever happen at first sight, that it's developed once everything is accepted about a partner.
But really, what chance does that really have when you have to pretend you're all confident and shit? Sure it doesn't hurt to be like that, in fact it's quite rewarding but when you're sacrificing personal comfort in order to impress someone who already doesn't appreciate the guy you really are...
What's the point?
It's why I'm glad me and my girlfriend spent 6 months prior to being together thinking that neither of us was interested, we got to be ourselves, genuinely and we both still wanted each other.
So seriously, regardless of how many people say that women are stupid or it's your fault for being too much of a pussy or whatever, just remember that eventually women do start paying attention to the things you and the things that make you, who you are, and the one's that like you for those things will make it known.
SO just be patient with them and try not to get all bothered when it doesn't happen.
Two generations ago, the same nonsense was going on. Girls going for the bad boys and nice guys whining about it.
And chances are, if this is all you see then you're either myopic or else not looking in the right places. There are successful assholes in all walks of life, just as there are empty, foolish people too.
See, I felt the same way when I was in high school. I was a regular Romeo. Falling for girls who had no interest in me, and then bemoaning my fate when they were either taken or not wanting to date me. Happened to me every few months. Looking back, there were plenty of attractive and intelligent girls that were very likely interested in me (you learn to recognize the signs over the years), but I was well too myopic to see them.
And chances are, if this is all you see then you're either myopic or else not looking in the right places. There are successful assholes in all walks of life, just as there are empty, foolish people too.
See, I felt the same way when I was in high school. I was a regular Romeo. Falling for girls who had no interest in me, and then bemoaning my fate when they were either taken or not wanting to date me. Happened to me every few months. Looking back, there were plenty of attractive and intelligent girls that were very likely interested in me (you learn to recognize the signs over the years), but I was well too myopic to see them.
Because women are stupid and will date assholes who only want to have sex with them just so they have something else to cry about, thus earning them more attention from more stupid people/assholes. It's that simple.
Tone down on treating women like oversensitive weaklings, and you may end up finding a girl who's worthy of being your equal.
Nice guys are approachable and a safe bet, hardly fun compared to the risk of something unstable.
But people who act like that on things such as a relationship shouldn't be worth it.
[small]Possibly the most hypocritical thing I've typed here yet.[/small]
Hmmmm, it's certainly an interesting one this. I certainly can relate to this as well. For many years now I have always described myself as a 'gentleman' and 'chivalrous' and to be perfectly honest whilst I have had some success with women I have found myself with long periods in my life where I have been single.
It wasn't till I got older that I started to realise that it wasn't the fact that I was a 'nice person' that women didn't like, it was the fact that I was a nice person who lacked confidence (and still do at times) I think this is the main reason why women never quite fell for me. They would get to know me and like me, but I guess that lack of an edge to me never gave them what they wanted.
I have recently been trying to be a lot more confident, living for myself, making myself happy and if someone comes along during that time then so be it. I shall also put this to the test right here and now with a cheeky suggestion to see if it's true or not.
The 'old me' would never dream of this due to fear of rejection (soooooo many times in the past) however the new me says...
Anyone out there interested in an awesomely looking sporty gamer 29 year old? Give me a PM, what's the worst that can happen?
TLDR: Chivalry isn't dead it's just that confidence is king.
It wasn't till I got older that I started to realise that it wasn't the fact that I was a 'nice person' that women didn't like, it was the fact that I was a nice person who lacked confidence (and still do at times) I think this is the main reason why women never quite fell for me. They would get to know me and like me, but I guess that lack of an edge to me never gave them what they wanted.
I have recently been trying to be a lot more confident, living for myself, making myself happy and if someone comes along during that time then so be it. I shall also put this to the test right here and now with a cheeky suggestion to see if it's true or not.
The 'old me' would never dream of this due to fear of rejection (soooooo many times in the past) however the new me says...
Anyone out there interested in an awesomely looking sporty gamer 29 year old? Give me a PM, what's the worst that can happen?
TLDR: Chivalry isn't dead it's just that confidence is king.
Thats why i dont date. Also i feel your pain my class is 7 girls and 2 guys and almost every day they are gossiping about how all guys are assholes
When those guys are rotting away in retirement homes barely able to remember what day of the week it is, we shall be sagely old men, stroking our mustaches as we play chess in the park in autumn discussing in great depth society and all its curious ways.
Ok, I can sympathize, and I have some advice. You cant always be super nice, and here's why; the nicer you are, right off the bat, the quicker you will find yourself in the "friend zone." And its hard, but not impossible, to get out of there. Here's a trick, find someone your interested in, and treat her well, but whatever you do, don't treat her friends, or anyone while shes around, as nicely as you do her. If your a dick to everyone, except her, she will feel special, and thats all it really takes. Make em laugh and feel special, and you're in like gin. It took me 23 years to learn this, so take my advice, and be a dick, but not to her.
Lets do a little role reversal here.
A woman holds open a door for me and then proceeds to give me a few complements, the discussion then brakes down into a talk of opinions, during the talk I see that her face twitches when I say certain things but she still keeps the everlasting smile and agrees with it all.
Now I'd think three things during this.
1)Is she trying to get on my good side just to score a date/sex?
2)She's nice maybe I can turn this into a friendship
3)Wait didn't I have a wallet before we... started... talking...
Now with number 1 I don't mind much but I prefer someone to be honest to my face and not nod and agree with everything I say just to score I want a person to date not a ass kissing robot. (A part of Chivalry without the sugar coating).
With number 2 well this woman seems genuinely nice and its always good to have more friends so I'll try and be friends with her and if my feelings grow I might ask her out.
And finally number 3 in my history someone always tries to nick my wallet through being the ?nice? guy/girl trick.
When I have feeling for a girl I do certain things. I'm nice to her but still treat her as I would treat any other person, as in light teasing and being slightly playful (well that and speaking madness that works aswell) but I add in the occasional flirt or complement. This got me my current girlfriend because although I was treating her nicely I made my intentions clear that I'd like to get to know her better and instead of being a non-stop nice guy I also showed her my playful and jokey side (which reveals I'm human and not some complement robot).
Chivalry is dead because woman killed it yes, but that was because they wanted a interesting boyfriend and not some ass kissing sexist (I for one hold the door open for everyone... well unless I don't like the person).
In the end the so called ?nice? guys need to realise that talking to women like they're people and making them like your personality rather than your actions should be their goal.
Also there is nothing wrong with feminists they are just wanting the equal rights they deserve now the sexist women are the problem.
Well that is my 2 cents anyway.
A woman holds open a door for me and then proceeds to give me a few complements, the discussion then brakes down into a talk of opinions, during the talk I see that her face twitches when I say certain things but she still keeps the everlasting smile and agrees with it all.
Now I'd think three things during this.
1)Is she trying to get on my good side just to score a date/sex?
2)She's nice maybe I can turn this into a friendship
3)Wait didn't I have a wallet before we... started... talking...
Now with number 1 I don't mind much but I prefer someone to be honest to my face and not nod and agree with everything I say just to score I want a person to date not a ass kissing robot. (A part of Chivalry without the sugar coating).
With number 2 well this woman seems genuinely nice and its always good to have more friends so I'll try and be friends with her and if my feelings grow I might ask her out.
And finally number 3 in my history someone always tries to nick my wallet through being the ?nice? guy/girl trick.
When I have feeling for a girl I do certain things. I'm nice to her but still treat her as I would treat any other person, as in light teasing and being slightly playful (well that and speaking madness that works aswell) but I add in the occasional flirt or complement. This got me my current girlfriend because although I was treating her nicely I made my intentions clear that I'd like to get to know her better and instead of being a non-stop nice guy I also showed her my playful and jokey side (which reveals I'm human and not some complement robot).
Chivalry is dead because woman killed it yes, but that was because they wanted a interesting boyfriend and not some ass kissing sexist (I for one hold the door open for everyone... well unless I don't like the person).
In the end the so called ?nice? guys need to realise that talking to women like they're people and making them like your personality rather than your actions should be their goal.
Also there is nothing wrong with feminists they are just wanting the equal rights they deserve now the sexist women are the problem.
Well that is my 2 cents anyway.
Those ideas are old and STALE! They were born during the 50s and the 60s.. And are largely due to the notion that Women need us men to take care of themselves since they are helpless little baby's.. Im sorry if i offend you but i dont follow those dumbass rules! I take a fair approach to things if i take a women on a date i EXPECT her to pay half! Why should i pay the entire bill when we both ate? We clearly both have jobs.. She can afford it.. Sure i open doors for people when there hands are full or something.. But if my girlfriend is on her way out the door and has both hands free why should i open it for her? I don't believe in your stupid ideas.. I believe that everyone should be treated just the same as anyone else.. Unless they meet certain requirements! If a person in a wheelchair is struggling to get up a hill and i have 2 legs and 2 arms of COURSE i will offer to help.. But in no way will i push a person perfectly able to push themselves around! And to answer your question about women going after douches.. Its because deep down everyone is selfish! We are driven by our constant need and want for a proper mate! We just pretty it up with our "CULTURE" More like mating ritual.. Anyways you should of been born 50 years ago.. This current generation doesn't need a 3rd wheel like you around..OneBig Man said:
Long story short, chivalry won't make you look good to all their other friends that mock their choice in boys when going through high school is such a ridiculous popularity contest?
Seems that's the way it was when I was there anyway. During college, dating was a great deal easier, 'cept said women had apparently been irrecoverably scarred by said jocks and emotools. Fun times.
Seems that's the way it was when I was there anyway. During college, dating was a great deal easier, 'cept said women had apparently been irrecoverably scarred by said jocks and emotools. Fun times.
Because woman find it attractive when a guy DOESN'T want to be nice to them.OneBig Man said:
Its a issue of dominance. Woman in a higher percentage of time than not, want a dominate male in their lives, just like men want a woman who can and will take care of them and their needs (food, sex, etc).
Its likely, that if she left you for a "dick", that the dick gave her a feeling of being a more dominate male than you are, this goes back to basic human instincts for breeding, things beyond our control as they are hard-wires "animal" emotions and feelings and work at an unconscious level.
Within every friendship, there is usually a more dominate person. The person who knows all the good places to go, knows the cool people to talk to, etc. Thats the dominate friend. That also more often than not, the guy between the two friends who has a LIST of girls, while the other guy gets a few here and there, and rarely ones as good as his friend. Woman see those two guys together, figure out which of them is the "Alpha Male" and take interest in him as oppose to the other. Its the same effect.
My advice is to be nice, but also be a dick too and know when to be what and when. Don't be mean or hurtful, but don't put them on a pedestal either. Once a girl knows you value her above ALL else, she can then walk all over you, and the guy you can walk all over, isn't attractive anymore.
I've taken pysch classes, I've talked to woman, and I've talked to "players", and they all tell me the same thing. Just be LESS nice once in awhile.
Even though it's sometimes a bit unbalanced, being 'The Gentleman' isn't all that bad. Sure, you get put aside for the others, but after the dames become older and, hopefully, wiser they start to see who's been holding the doors and being conciderate in front of them all the time.
Patience, dear friend. Patience.
Patience, dear friend. Patience.