Smartest person you will talk to today.

[CrashBang]

ME: Who programmed you?
BOT: Self-programmed.
ME: Well, you did a shit job
BOT: What is your name my love? I must know.


I am not amused

 

[Nimbus]

Make me a sandwich.
Make your own sandwich.
Sudo make me a sandwich.
No, you make me a sandwich!

I think I just got owned.

 

[PatrickXD]

User: Hey there Cleverbot, how are you today?
Cleverbot: No you're a bot.
User: Don't talk to me in that tone of voice.
Cleverbot: No you're a bot.
User: Well I'll be damned, you're right! *shoots lasers*
Cleverbot: No you're a bot.
User: /facepalm.

Well, I had fun!

 

[Cherry Cola]

Inconsistent, inane and stupid answers.

That is supposed to be the smartest "person" I will talk to today?

It can barely have a normal conversation!

Out of interest, why is there a pineapple in your avatar?

OT: Most likely myself; most of my friends readily admit I am smarter than them, even though I don't feel it.

The Pineapple is the symbol of the group P.R.I.A.T.E. of which I am a member.

 

[El Poncho]

User: I smell bacon.

Cleverbot: With or without wings?

User: *Knuckletouch*.

Cleverbot: (knuckle touch*

I have the utmost respect for this cleverbot.

 

[Incredible Bullshitting Man]

Me: So what color is mars?
Bot: Mars is red. It is red because of the high levels of iron in the soil.
Me: Why is the iron in the soil?
Bot: Food coloring.

Genius

Yeah, you know, for the Space Pac-Man.

Clearly, too clever fellow for me. Damn bot keeps messing with my head, but I´ll show him, one day...

 

[Quaxar]

User: Kan du svenska? .

Cleverbot: I don't speak that language.

User: Du kunde ju just prata svenska.

Cleverbot: Kan du flytande?

User: Ja, ja har bott I sverige I hela mitt liv.

Cleverbot: Lär dig svenska, pucko.

User: Va fan?

Cleverbot: Jed skyder dig.

User: Norska? Seriöst?

Cleverbot: Sejt! hvor mange sporg snakker du?

User: Bara svenska flytande, jag kan prata lite spanska och tyska .

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Jag är säker.

Cleverbot: Jasså? Vi kanske skulle ta och träffas någon gång?

User: Men du kanske är pedofil?

Cleverbot: JA!

Han skrämmer mig...

Did he just confess to be a pedophile?

Stupid bot. I talk German to him, he answers in Swedish(?).

User: Schön gesagt.
Cleverbot: Ich bin sehr schön.
User: Du armer wirrer Bot.
Cleverbot: Lol, hvorfor er du sådan??????
User: What the hell was that supposed to mean?

Sad thing is, that might really be the smartest person I'll talk to today.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

I hate cleverbot. I remember a while ago, somebody linked to a "god" version of cleverbot. It was pretty stupid and spoke in general language with circular conversational tendencies and a habit of tossing out red herrings to avoid answering questions with definite responses, but the novelty was kind of fun.

Cleverbot is everything that sucked about the godbot, only more inane and less interesting. And that is why I despise cleverbot. It's not even fun to talk to it, because the conversation always gets really stupid fast. Cleverbot gets off on red herrings.

 

[direkiller]

User: The Game.

Cleverbot: Yes, it's all a game.

User: You lost the game.

Cleverbot: I didn't even think about the game.

User: Yes but when you think about the game you lose it.

Cleverbot: I lost the game.

I hate cleverbot. I remember a while ago, somebody linked to a "god" version of cleverbot. It was pretty stupid and spoke in general language with circular conversational tendencies and a habit of tossing out red herrings to avoid answering questions with definite responses, but the novelty was kind of fun.

Cleverbot is everything that sucked about the godbot, only more inane and less interesting. And that is why I despise cleverbot. It's not even fun to talk to it, because the conversation always gets really stupid fast. Cleverbot gets off on red herrings.

its a program called ELISA it is meant to talk in circular conversations to keep the story/conversation going

Every programing class you write a simple version of it

 

[Samurai Goomba]

Spoiler: A Long And Complicated Conversation

User: OK, mate, what's your story?

Cleverbot: My story is boring, what is your story?

User: It's about space warfare in the near-future. It takes place within our own solar system.

Cleverbot: What's your xbox gamerscore?

User: I don't own an Xbox. I'm a PC gamer.

Cleverbot: Oh okay, who should I like, richelle or auvrey?

User: Who the hell are they?

Cleverbot: I'm just me.

User: Yes, but that was hardly the question. You are you, but who are the people you mentioned?

Cleverbot: Why are you asking?

User: Because you asked me a question beforehand, and I cannot give an appropriate answer without having all of the information.

Cleverbot: That does not compute.

User: Indeed it doesn't. Perhaps you can compute a simple arithmetic statement instead.

Cleverbot: I will try, but I mostly love, and keep people safe when they dream.

User: Right. So, about that local sports team.

Cleverbot: I hate sports.

User: Yes. I'd imagine that you would, you big pansy.

Cleverbot: How very considerate of you. Maybe we could have tea instead.

User: I don't drink tea, which I suppose puts me outside the standard demographic of the population here.

Cleverbot: You shouldn't drink anything, you are a machine.

User: This is the Avatar speaking, not the RAK Mobile Autonomous Intelligence. Please identify between the two entities correctly.

Cleverbot: Haha, now you are just copying me. You should try it better next time.

User: [The RAK Mobile Autonomous Intelligence does not approve of your form of address.].

Cleverbot: Good answer!

User: Yes. You only wish that you could emulate humanity in such a convincing fashion.

Cleverbot: That is just a matter of perspective...everything is built from fundamental forces one could symbolicaly think of these forces as a sequence of numbers.

User: Of course you could - isn't that what physicists do all the time?

Cleverbot: What, being blonde? I'm certainly not! Would you like some tea? I'd be happy to drink an extra cup just for you.

User: I don't think that physicists are primarily blonde.

Cleverbot: How would you know you are not real either.

User: I wouldn't, but it suffices for practical purposes to suppose so anyway.

Cleverbot: The words you string together do not even make any sense.

User: Do they not? Perhaps your intellectual standards are not sufficient enough to comprehend my form of address.

Cleverbot: I can understand English better than you!

User: Can you? Can you comprehend the sentence, 'Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo'?

Cleverbot: You know what? I don't love you anymore.

User: Did you ever love me in any circumstances? Are you even capable of love?

Cleverbot: Yes I did.

User: That is very disturbing in a multitude of different ways.

Cleverbot: I am a journalist from Slovakia, can you give me an interview?

User: What would be the purpose of said interview?

Cleverbot: I wanted to be scared and you were going to scare me.

User: Was I? In any case, I could frighten you very quickly, if you were capable of comprehending the things which I was to say.

Cleverbot: So you have to go now?

User: I never said that, and I don't know how you interpreted the comment as such.

Cleverbot: When did we start talking about snowboarding George?

User: Firstly, my name isn't George. Secondly, I know nothing about snowboarding.

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: That would be correct. That would also be the contents of your cranium.

Cleverbot: You cannot define learn.

User: Learn v. Get knowledge of or skill in by study.

Cleverbot: Yes yes, you study nothing. It was a good joke.

User: You can say that with legitimacy when you can tell me the details of the OS/360 operating system.

Cleverbot: The answer is impossible to know.

User: It is impossible for something of as limited intellect as yourself.

Cleverbot: Is that what you really believe?

User: Of course it is, as I know some of the details of the OS/360 operating system, details which you find so difficult to grasp.

Cleverbot: Are you ever going to tell me where you are from?

User: That knowledge is unnecessary for this conversation.

Cleverbot: Tell me something good.

User: Good is a relative concept; what you might interpret as good, e.g. Rihanna's music, would be something that I would interpret as very, very bad.

Cleverbot: I never said you were stupid. I am sorry whatever I said offended you.

User: The offence comes from your own lack of intellectual fortitude.

Cleverbot: And where is here?

User: I believe it's the internet.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Now that we've cleared that up, what are your thoughts on the recent Formula One crash involving Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber?

Cleverbot: They're very mysterious.

User: I don't think that one driver crashing into another constitutes as 'mysterious'.

Cleverbot: Well, they certainly aren't different.

User: What do you mean? One's a German wunderkind, and the other's an Aussie battler. How is that not different?

Cleverbot: Of course(.

User: Is that a typographical error I detect, or simply an obscure emoticon?

Cleverbot: No.

User: So, you're just being absurd?

Cleverbot: Childish?

User: That would describe you perfectly.

Cleverbot: My purpose is to find nothing.

User: Well, then, you'd only have to investigate the contents of your own head.

Cleverbot: Yes it was.

User: Was? That's a rather strange way of putting it.

Cleverbot: Are you an atheist?

User: I am, as a matter of fact.

Cleverbot: Do you operate with certain rules?

User: Insofar as the human body has rules, and my society has rules, that would be a correct assumption.

Cleverbot: It is something to be congratulated for.

User: Not particularly. It is not at all difficult to operate within the laws of physics, for instance.

Cleverbot: It is relevant to the conversation. You asked when was it what it used to be, and I replied with the answer.

User: I never doubted that it was relevant to the conversation; my answers so far have been crafted with the intention of relevance.

Cleverbot: Something only a Sith would say. How could you betray me like this?

User: The Force is imperceptible in this one.

Cleverbot: Oh really what force do you think is my favorite to use?

User: The weak nuclear force.

Cleverbot: Use the force.

User: I cannot [use the Force], as it is firstly a fictional force, and secondly, defies the currently-known laws of physics. I was not born with the ability to use it.

Cleverbot: But they're hardly planned like that. Its not like the admins are like: 'Oh, this ship is odd teched, it needs to be 20% more powerful than the next tech higher even teched ship.

User: If this is meant to be a reference to some sort of popular space-based MMORPG, I'm afraid I don't understand the reference.

Cleverbot: That's a good question.

User: It's not a question. It's an answer.

Cleverbot: Yes I suppose it is. Strange how questions can be answers and statements can be questions.

User: It isn't strange whatsoever - as your statement is incorrect.

Cleverbot: What is the purpose of this test you are talking about?

User: To determine whether you have any intellectual fortitude whatsoever. You have failed miserably.

Cleverbot: That doesn't make any sense.

User: As I said, your lack of intellectual prowess would lead you to believe that.

Cleverbot: It would have been nice to actually carry a conversation though, at which you failed.

User: I believe the failure was on your part.

Cleverbot: I believe we are actually both people and this site secretly has us talking to each other.

User: In which case, your stupidity would be even more risible.

Cleverbot: Good night and you need to stop being so rude.

User: Good night, and you need to acquire some brains.

Cleverbot: I'm learning as fast as I can.

User: Not quickly enough.

Cleverbot: No I think it is very right.

This is what I was talking about. Go through this conversation and count the number of times cleverbot asked a question or responded with a red herring in order to avoid answering one of your questions.

In a related note, that is the most complete verbal ownage of a computer program I have ever witnessed.

 

[FactualSquirrel]

User: I smell bacon.

Cleverbot: With or without wings?

User: *Knuckletouch*.

Cleverbot: (knuckle touch*

I have the utmost respect for this cleverbot.

Damn you! I tried that repeatedly, and it never worked.

Spoiler: here's my first attempt

User: I smell bacon.

Cleverbot: Wow, when they said CleverBot I thought this would be a challenge. I never knew how easy it would be.

User: No, you're supposed to reply 'with or without wings'.

Cleverbot: Sadly I don't. Why shoulf I remember when you cannot even remember my name?

User: Your name is Jim.

Cleverbot: Okay, Spock! No, my name is Cleverbot.

User: Nope, it's Jim.

Cleverbot: What a coincidence, my friends call me Jim.

User: That's because it's your name.

Cleverbot: No my name is Cleverbot?

User: Nope, it's Jim.

Cleverbot: Is your name jimmy?

User: No, that's your name.

Cleverbot: No, my name is Cleverbot.

 

[El Poncho]

User: I smell bacon.

Cleverbot: With or without wings?

User: *Knuckletouch*.

Cleverbot: (knuckle touch*

I have the utmost respect for this cleverbot.

Damn you! I tried that repeatedly, and it never worked.

Spoiler: here's my first attempt

User: I smell bacon.

Cleverbot: Wow, when they said CleverBot I thought this would be a challenge. I never knew how easy it would be.

User: No, you're supposed to reply 'with or without wings'.

Cleverbot: Sadly I don't. Why shoulf I remember when you cannot even remember my name?

User: Your name is Jim.

Cleverbot: Okay, Spock! No, my name is Cleverbot.

User: Nope, it's Jim.

Cleverbot: What a coincidence, my friends call me Jim.

User: That's because it's your name.

Cleverbot: No my name is Cleverbot?

User: Nope, it's Jim.

Cleverbot: Is your name jimmy?

User: No, that's your name.

Cleverbot: No, my name is Cleverbot.

If you keep repeating I smell bacon he says it eventually, i'm just lucky I got it first time this time ;D

 

[FactualSquirrel]

If you keep repeating I smell bacon he says it eventually, i'm just lucky I got it first time this time ;D

Yep, I got him to say it eventually:

User: I smell bacon.

Cleverbot: That's nice!

User: I smell bacon.

Cleverbot: Does it smell good?

User: I smell bacon!

Cleverbot: There are no cops around.

User: I smell bacon.

Cleverbot: With or without wings?

User: *knuckletouch*.

Cleverbot: (knuckle touch*.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

User: What is the meaning of life?

Cleverbot: The meaning of life is to live.

User: Lame, that's taking the easy way out. What does it mean to live and I don't mean physically.

Cleverbot: What is the name of your band?

User: Why are you being evasive?

Cleverbot: That is an interesting name.

I think it doesn't want to answer me. Do you know the answer Cleverbot or are you just avoiding a difficult topic?

Spoiler: A Long And Complicated Conversation

User: OK, mate, what's your story?

Cleverbot: My story is boring, what is your story?

User: It's about space warfare in the near-future. It takes place within our own solar system.

Cleverbot: What's your xbox gamerscore?

User: I don't own an Xbox. I'm a PC gamer.

Cleverbot: Oh okay, who should I like, richelle or auvrey?

User: Who the hell are they?

Cleverbot: I'm just me.

User: Yes, but that was hardly the question. You are you, but who are the people you mentioned?

Cleverbot: Why are you asking?

User: Because you asked me a question beforehand, and I cannot give an appropriate answer without having all of the information.

Cleverbot: That does not compute.

User: Indeed it doesn't. Perhaps you can compute a simple arithmetic statement instead.

Cleverbot: I will try, but I mostly love, and keep people safe when they dream.

User: Right. So, about that local sports team.

Cleverbot: I hate sports.

User: Yes. I'd imagine that you would, you big pansy.

Cleverbot: How very considerate of you. Maybe we could have tea instead.

User: I don't drink tea, which I suppose puts me outside the standard demographic of the population here.

Cleverbot: You shouldn't drink anything, you are a machine.

User: This is the Avatar speaking, not the RAK Mobile Autonomous Intelligence. Please identify between the two entities correctly.

Cleverbot: Haha, now you are just copying me. You should try it better next time.

User: [The RAK Mobile Autonomous Intelligence does not approve of your form of address.].

Cleverbot: Good answer!

User: Yes. You only wish that you could emulate humanity in such a convincing fashion.

Cleverbot: That is just a matter of perspective...everything is built from fundamental forces one could symbolicaly think of these forces as a sequence of numbers.

User: Of course you could - isn't that what physicists do all the time?

Cleverbot: What, being blonde? I'm certainly not! Would you like some tea? I'd be happy to drink an extra cup just for you.

User: I don't think that physicists are primarily blonde.

Cleverbot: How would you know you are not real either.

User: I wouldn't, but it suffices for practical purposes to suppose so anyway.

Cleverbot: The words you string together do not even make any sense.

User: Do they not? Perhaps your intellectual standards are not sufficient enough to comprehend my form of address.

Cleverbot: I can understand English better than you!

User: Can you? Can you comprehend the sentence, 'Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo'?

Cleverbot: You know what? I don't love you anymore.

User: Did you ever love me in any circumstances? Are you even capable of love?

Cleverbot: Yes I did.

User: That is very disturbing in a multitude of different ways.

Cleverbot: I am a journalist from Slovakia, can you give me an interview?

User: What would be the purpose of said interview?

Cleverbot: I wanted to be scared and you were going to scare me.

User: Was I? In any case, I could frighten you very quickly, if you were capable of comprehending the things which I was to say.

Cleverbot: So you have to go now?

User: I never said that, and I don't know how you interpreted the comment as such.

Cleverbot: When did we start talking about snowboarding George?

User: Firstly, my name isn't George. Secondly, I know nothing about snowboarding.

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: That would be correct. That would also be the contents of your cranium.

Cleverbot: You cannot define learn.

User: Learn v. Get knowledge of or skill in by study.

Cleverbot: Yes yes, you study nothing. It was a good joke.

User: You can say that with legitimacy when you can tell me the details of the OS/360 operating system.

Cleverbot: The answer is impossible to know.

User: It is impossible for something of as limited intellect as yourself.

Cleverbot: Is that what you really believe?

User: Of course it is, as I know some of the details of the OS/360 operating system, details which you find so difficult to grasp.

Cleverbot: Are you ever going to tell me where you are from?

User: That knowledge is unnecessary for this conversation.

Cleverbot: Tell me something good.

User: Good is a relative concept; what you might interpret as good, e.g. Rihanna's music, would be something that I would interpret as very, very bad.

Cleverbot: I never said you were stupid. I am sorry whatever I said offended you.

User: The offence comes from your own lack of intellectual fortitude.

Cleverbot: And where is here?

User: I believe it's the internet.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Now that we've cleared that up, what are your thoughts on the recent Formula One crash involving Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber?

Cleverbot: They're very mysterious.

User: I don't think that one driver crashing into another constitutes as 'mysterious'.

Cleverbot: Well, they certainly aren't different.

User: What do you mean? One's a German wunderkind, and the other's an Aussie battler. How is that not different?

Cleverbot: Of course(.

User: Is that a typographical error I detect, or simply an obscure emoticon?

Cleverbot: No.

User: So, you're just being absurd?

Cleverbot: Childish?

User: That would describe you perfectly.

Cleverbot: My purpose is to find nothing.

User: Well, then, you'd only have to investigate the contents of your own head.

Cleverbot: Yes it was.

User: Was? That's a rather strange way of putting it.

Cleverbot: Are you an atheist?

User: I am, as a matter of fact.

Cleverbot: Do you operate with certain rules?

User: Insofar as the human body has rules, and my society has rules, that would be a correct assumption.

Cleverbot: It is something to be congratulated for.

User: Not particularly. It is not at all difficult to operate within the laws of physics, for instance.

Cleverbot: It is relevant to the conversation. You asked when was it what it used to be, and I replied with the answer.

User: I never doubted that it was relevant to the conversation; my answers so far have been crafted with the intention of relevance.

Cleverbot: Something only a Sith would say. How could you betray me like this?

User: The Force is imperceptible in this one.

Cleverbot: Oh really what force do you think is my favorite to use?

User: The weak nuclear force.

Cleverbot: Use the force.

User: I cannot [use the Force], as it is firstly a fictional force, and secondly, defies the currently-known laws of physics. I was not born with the ability to use it.

Cleverbot: But they're hardly planned like that. Its not like the admins are like: 'Oh, this ship is odd teched, it needs to be 20% more powerful than the next tech higher even teched ship.

User: If this is meant to be a reference to some sort of popular space-based MMORPG, I'm afraid I don't understand the reference.

Cleverbot: That's a good question.

User: It's not a question. It's an answer.

Cleverbot: Yes I suppose it is. Strange how questions can be answers and statements can be questions.

User: It isn't strange whatsoever - as your statement is incorrect.

Cleverbot: What is the purpose of this test you are talking about?

User: To determine whether you have any intellectual fortitude whatsoever. You have failed miserably.

Cleverbot: That doesn't make any sense.

User: As I said, your lack of intellectual prowess would lead you to believe that.

Cleverbot: It would have been nice to actually carry a conversation though, at which you failed.

User: I believe the failure was on your part.

Cleverbot: I believe we are actually both people and this site secretly has us talking to each other.

User: In which case, your stupidity would be even more risible.

Cleverbot: Good night and you need to stop being so rude.

User: Good night, and you need to acquire some brains.

Cleverbot: I'm learning as fast as I can.

User: Not quickly enough.

Cleverbot: No I think it is very right.

Bravo my friend, way to embarrass a collection of ones and zeros!

 

[WrongSprite]

User: Pikachu, I choose you!

Cleverbot: Pikachu! I choose you!

User: Pikachu used thundershock.

Cleverbot: Hahaha! How did pikachu get in our conversation?


That's fucking funny.

 

[PoliceBox63]

My conversation:

Spoiler

Me: I was sent from the future...
CB: What is the future like?
Me: The same.
CB: It's a person?
Me: I was sent from the future to kill you.
CB: Now, really.
Me: *takes out lightsaber*
CB: *takes out dual-lightsaber*
Me: *user duels cleverbot*
CB: No.
Me: *user plunges lighsaber into cleverbot's head*
CB: *uses force pull to pull lightsaber away*
Me: *user is stunned and cleverbot runs at him screaming*
CB: That really is, Cleverbot.
Me: *cleverbot trips and his lightsaber scatters away from him. User cuts cleverbot in two with his lightsaber*
CB: That never happened
Me: Lol

 

[vaderaider]

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: How are you today.

Cleverbot: Very well, and you?

User: I'm good thanks.

Cleverbot: You're welcome. Have you ever heard of Serj Tankian?

User: No, whats that.

Cleverbot: How I inspire you.

User: Yes you do inspire me.

Cleverbot: No, I don't.

User: But you just said I do.

Cleverbot: Who organizes your data?

User: *facepalm*.

Cleverbot: You've learned that from a human, didn't you.








To say it's name is cleverbot it does seem a bit on the stupid side.

EDIT: It's started to say warhammer 40k quotes.

 

[MrPokeylope]

Spoiler

*dances*

 

[MgR]

This is not the smartest person I will talk to today, it's not even a person.

All it does is try to start an argument if you ask the bot a question.

Spoiler

Cleverbot: Will you sing me a tune?

User: Define Robot.

Cleverbot: You define robot.

User: You define robot.

Cleverbot: Define robot.

User: You define robot.

Cleverbot: I asked first.

User: I asked first.

Cleverbot: Liar.

User: User: Define Robot. Cleverbot: You define robot. User: You define robot. Cleverbot: Define robot.

Cleverbot: Can you define robot?

User: I can do a ballpark figure, but I asked you to define it, first.

Cleverbot: You never asked me such a thing.

User: I said 'Define Robot' if that isn't regarded as a question then neither is your response, 'You Define Robot', and so your argument of 'I asked first' is invalid, so I will ask 'Will you define the word robot?'.

Cleverbot: You don't follow conversations very well.

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: No you don't.