So I had my heart ripped out...
- Thread starter Girl With One Eye
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If he told you things about you that where hurting your relationship then he's probably hoping that you will work on those things. he may take you back if you get your life together more, also in working on your own life your depression will become less of an issue.
He might be trying to get you to live your life without him maybe thats all he need to see, that your aren't someone who will cling to him and hold him back, but will instead support him and have your own dreams that he can support.
Any good relationship will have both parties involved in each others lives its called co-dependency. if you both care for each others needs then it won't be just one of you carrying the load.
Don't follow the advice of the people who say to. . . have lots of sex/drink/do drugs/distract yourself.
None of these things are all bad but they will only prevent you from solving you problems and the longer you leave your problems the harder they are to fix.
He might be trying to get you to live your life without him maybe thats all he need to see, that your aren't someone who will cling to him and hold him back, but will instead support him and have your own dreams that he can support.
Any good relationship will have both parties involved in each others lives its called co-dependency. if you both care for each others needs then it won't be just one of you carrying the load.
Don't follow the advice of the people who say to. . . have lots of sex/drink/do drugs/distract yourself.
None of these things are all bad but they will only prevent you from solving you problems and the longer you leave your problems the harder they are to fix.
yes i know what you ment, but .. wel, franky put, do you use something thats -in grand total- negative for you ? ( unless your a drug user ) no! thats what i ment, so why would he use her in a love makes blind way, when that same use would only cost him time and effort XD?Sqalevon said:
oh, and love doesnt make blind. love makes forgiving
XD
Well.....First, you need to try and cheer yourself up. Get support from people around you, and just try to go up from where you are. Don't beat yourself up over this, and don't think of it as losing your heart. You still have a lot of years left in you, and that means a lot of other people who could love ya.
Like some people like here have pretty much said, you just need to hold on. Let time do its thing, and you can keep on going. Things change, people change, and we change. And these changes can make us a lot better, and heal us a lot. So, just hold on, and focus on getting better.
Like some people like here have pretty much said, you just need to hold on. Let time do its thing, and you can keep on going. Things change, people change, and we change. And these changes can make us a lot better, and heal us a lot. So, just hold on, and focus on getting better.
The sad thing is, Time is really the best help...It'll hurt for a long time...But if you find something you enjoy...Or someone you enjoy spending time with,a friend a relative anyone they'll help and they'll do what they can for ya...Chances are relatives and friends have had the same...or similar experiences and they can help...Unless they're like my relatives in which case look towards a friend. But all in all with my experience give it time and when you feel ready to look for someone else look, they're always out there. I hope this helped. Best of luck~
It'll probably hurt for a long time, but as the months go by it'll turn into a fond memory if you let it.
The best way to deal with it for now is to find purpose, most people struggle with this, but find something you enjoy doing and you have a good, possibly the best, starting point.
The best way to deal with it for now is to find purpose, most people struggle with this, but find something you enjoy doing and you have a good, possibly the best, starting point.
Biggest thing to remember is that life goes on, even though it might feel as though its all crumbling around you at the moment just keep your chin up and dont hide from yourself, just keep doing all the things that make you happy.
More importantly though is not to think of yourself as a loser, just keep in mind that everyone is different and just because you feel you dont fit into the "social norm" doesn't mean you are any less of an exciting or intelligent person and if others make you feel bad about yourself then they are the ones who are pathetic and narrow minded.
Feel better soon.
More importantly though is not to think of yourself as a loser, just keep in mind that everyone is different and just because you feel you dont fit into the "social norm" doesn't mean you are any less of an exciting or intelligent person and if others make you feel bad about yourself then they are the ones who are pathetic and narrow minded.
Feel better soon.
Friday 13th, freaky shit happens. (pft not really, its cause I'm always rightAkalistos said:
(<--see that face I'm joking))
Lock yourself in your room with a bottle of whiskey and cry it out. Once the bottles gone, you'll be good.
My girlfriend of 2 years who i thought was the one broke up with me a week and a bit ago and i so wanted to write everything youve written. It feels good that im not alone even if the genders are reversed.Girl With One Eye said:
Im feeling better everyday and you will too, ive been reasoning it out and thinking and im getting better, even if vie been meloncholy for the last week and a half. This person broke up with me because they needed a time without a boyfriend they said, a time without me. It hurt a lot. I cried for days on end, in front of her as well, and im not ashamed, this is the most painfull thing ever and its how people react to it. She made me happier while we were together than ive ever been in my entire life, i took her to the prom, she was my first real love and our happy memories are countless. I owe it to her to be a friend for her, everything about her i loved is still there if i can be friends with her. I woe it to her for everything she did for me and everything she ever said that made me smile or laugh or love her to be everything she needs me to be, once a boyfriend, now a friend. i need to pull through this, you do to. And we will. I have two years of school with her before we go to uni and i plan to be the best friend for her i can be, even if my feelings for her never really die.
She was my life and my world and she can still be there for me. That spark we had is gone, you cant force it or make it be there, it is or it isnt. Be an example to people of how to act, you get one chance here to set the tone for your relationship with both him and your reaction if this happens again. Remember the good times fondly, dont erase them from your life and remember dispite all that happened this person made you happier than youve ever been. Be happy you shared that.
I feel very sorry for you, its very confusing what your partner did, mine did something similar. We saw a movie on the same day, we kissed , we held eachother and we had a brilliant time together. Then she left me. I was so confused but now she told me it isnt going to happen in the for seeable future. You need to get an ultimatum, it helped me sort things out a bit.
I feel for you so acutely. Im so sorry this happened to you. I wouldnt wish this on anyone.
same here,gof22 said:
besides, I don't believe I'm the kind of guy who could date if I wanted to - not very social, hate to travel, and I don't have much funds
but I feel we'll all find the right match for us, just don't get your hopes up for everyone that you meet as being that potential person
best advice for a guy looking for a girl -
http://www.narutobase.net/manga/Naruto/367/8
Its extremely hard to get over someone you love, and yes the hardest thing about it all is that you have to wait. I saw the thread at first thinking "eh another breakup story" but you know what everyone is important and you beeing "the only existing problem he can get rid of" is untrue, don't think of yourself as such because otherwise thing may only get worse. I know it's hard to stay positive and pessimism can be oh so warm but holding onto good things always helps.
I lost someone i love a long time ago, not a girl freind but my father and after four years i've watched it tear my family apart to the point of wollowing insanity and when you see people do horrible things to themselvves whether they be emotional hurt or physical you can't help but think i don't want to be like that, you strive to be happy.
If you read this you will probably think what the hell has this to do with me, I just want you to know that i've loved and lost and im not saying your problem is easier to deal with because it is not, i'm just saying that i have been to breaking points and thought life is worthless but it's not it's what you make of it and we have one life why not make the best of it. You obviously had some great times with this guy and you should hold those in your heart dearly but don't let that stop you from making your own good times either with yourself or with another person you may come to love, also you say you have no freinds or job but that doesn't mean that you are helpless there is most certainly someone who loves you there always is you just need to really think about it.
Look i really, sincerely hope this helped and if not then sorry for wasting your time.
Just think about it if you can though
I lost someone i love a long time ago, not a girl freind but my father and after four years i've watched it tear my family apart to the point of wollowing insanity and when you see people do horrible things to themselvves whether they be emotional hurt or physical you can't help but think i don't want to be like that, you strive to be happy.
If you read this you will probably think what the hell has this to do with me, I just want you to know that i've loved and lost and im not saying your problem is easier to deal with because it is not, i'm just saying that i have been to breaking points and thought life is worthless but it's not it's what you make of it and we have one life why not make the best of it. You obviously had some great times with this guy and you should hold those in your heart dearly but don't let that stop you from making your own good times either with yourself or with another person you may come to love, also you say you have no freinds or job but that doesn't mean that you are helpless there is most certainly someone who loves you there always is you just need to really think about it.
Look i really, sincerely hope this helped and if not then sorry for wasting your time.
Just think about it if you can though
I am in a similar situation right now, but I thought about it and noticed that, even though this person is very important to me, I still have enough other things that keep me alive and happy.
Set yourself some self-centered goals, even if it sounds egocentric. On the way to achieving this goals, you will earn a lot of experience and actually become a happier person, since you aren't completely alone. You still have your friends and family,right?
Try to put any hopes for the relationship to grow anew in your subconscious, so it won't hurt, or distract you from gaining the happiness of achieving your self-centered goals. Don't lose these hopes, though! They will remind you of the great feeling that you get from a good relationship and when he, or somebody else, wants to be together with you, you will be even happier.
I hope it works for you as much as it works for me..
Set yourself some self-centered goals, even if it sounds egocentric. On the way to achieving this goals, you will earn a lot of experience and actually become a happier person, since you aren't completely alone. You still have your friends and family,right?
Try to put any hopes for the relationship to grow anew in your subconscious, so it won't hurt, or distract you from gaining the happiness of achieving your self-centered goals. Don't lose these hopes, though! They will remind you of the great feeling that you get from a good relationship and when he, or somebody else, wants to be together with you, you will be even happier.
I hope it works for you as much as it works for me..
hey Naila, we're here for you, it'll be tough to start with, but we'll let it move on. And everything will work it's way back in place
Poor dear
This happened to me a few years ago, and I can't remember ever being more hurt. When you're used to having a love around and suddenly it's gone, it's so hard to get back to being on your own. People say time heals all wounds. I disagree. Time doesn't heal, but it helps. I agree with what others have been saying. Use this time to find out who you are outside of the relationship. Become 100% you. People in relationships should complement each other, not complete each other. Find out what makes you happy and go for it.
If you ever need a shoulder to cry on or a sounding board, let me know.
This happened to me a few years ago, and I can't remember ever being more hurt. When you're used to having a love around and suddenly it's gone, it's so hard to get back to being on your own. People say time heals all wounds. I disagree. Time doesn't heal, but it helps. I agree with what others have been saying. Use this time to find out who you are outside of the relationship. Become 100% you. People in relationships should complement each other, not complete each other. Find out what makes you happy and go for it.
If you ever need a shoulder to cry on or a sounding board, let me know.
Wait. Just wait. A new relationship will only distract you temporarily from your pain. The best I can suggest is to spend time with your family or someone else (i.e a friend) who can comfort you until you feel better. If I were you I wouldn't start a new relationship for at least six months. Just stick it out. I know it's hard but you just have to be strong. You'll get over it.