So, I'm dating my cousin now... Yeah...

[BiscuitTrouser]

How close of a cousin? Genetically, at around 4 or 5 it's okay, just a social taboo.

This, theres no reason why not, you people find it disgusting for no reason at all other than social taboo. Ask why for a second. Youve been indocrinated to dislike it and to even go so far as to persecute those who do JUST because youve been told so. It disgusts me the level of hate some people have because they willingly accept that "because im told X is Y anyone that disagrees is disgusting". There is no logical reason why you should dislike this.

I personally wouldnt do it as i have no cousins and i would be persecuted by society. But i have no issues with those that do.

That's just gross.

/thread

Maybe its just in my family but we are all super connected. There is one main rule: Stay the fuck away from any romances with family or else you will be exiled neglected.

I love my family and it seems sick and wrong. Find love somewhere else, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Case and point. Not /thread, youve put down an indoctrinated opinion with no reasons because there are none.

That said for your own safety i recommend finding love elsewhere if possible. People are ignorant and horrible about this subject and will mericlessly abuse you for no reason at all and its funny, go through every post saying "eww" and no reason will imerge for this other than "cus people tell me it is" it physically makes me laugh. If you really are in love with this person i dont see any reason why you shouldnt try.

 

[Sacman]

Were not related by blood...

Yeah, my jaw stopped dropping right there!

Honestly, I see nothing illegal with what you're doing if there's no blood relations....so...have fun..=)

It's not the fact that she is my fifth cousin because I have probably thousands but because she is so closely tied with the family I grew up with her in the same house, we shared a room at one point...

 

[sirkai007]

How can I put this...

BAD EFFING IDEA!!!!!!! I'm not even convinced that you think it is a good idea because you've come to an internet forum seeking approval from a bunch of strangers when you know you won't get it from the people you actually know.

Again, BAD IDEA!

 

[Sacman]

How can I put this...

BAD EFFING IDEA!!!!!!! I'm not even convinced that you think it is a good idea because you've come to an internet forum seeking approval from a bunch of strangers when you know you won't get it from the people you actually know.

Again, BAD IDEA!

Of course I don't think it's a bad idea!!! but I want this relationship to work so I'm going to find away to make it work!!!

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

Edit: let's get something straight Her Grandmother was the 3rd cousin of my grandfather but was adopted by my great grandparents at a young age and from that point had a daughter than her daughter had a daughter...

So you aren't blood? Well then I reckon it's A-okay. The whole family being really weirded out shouldn't be a problem if you're not blood relatives. However like Nova said, unless you have a mutual break up that was spurred by both of you realising that you aren't working at the same time, then tensions will arise after.

If you want to do it, then it. Just so long as you take precautions (interpret this sentence as you like, I'm not stopping you, but I will judge you)

 

[sirkai007]

How close of a cousin? Genetically, at around 4 or 5 it's okay, just a social taboo.

This, theres no reason why not, you people find it disgusting for no reason at all other than social taboo. Ask why for a second. Youve been indocrinated to dislike it and to even go so far as to persecute those who do JUST because youve been told so. It disgusts me the level of hate some people have because they willingly accept that "because im told X is Y anyone that disagrees is disgusting". There is no logical reason why you should dislike this.

I personally wouldnt do it as i have no cousins and i would be persecuted by society. But i have no issues with those that do.

I'm a Mormon. Why can't I have multiple wives? Why is that so awful that there are laws against me marrying and taking responsibility for more than one woman and the children I have with them? If polygamy is bad then this is worse.

 

[asam92]

If your not blood then it is OK, it would still feel a little weird to me personally but if you feel fine with it then go ahead

 

[sirkai007]

How can I put this...

BAD EFFING IDEA!!!!!!! I'm not even convinced that you think it is a good idea because you've come to an internet forum seeking approval from a bunch of strangers when you know you won't get it from the people you actually know.

Again, BAD IDEA!

Of course I don't think it's a good idea!!! but I want this relationship to work so I'm going to find away to make it work!!!

I think that you just answered your own question. The definition of stupidity is to act contrary to ones knowledge.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

SNIP.

I dont see why you shouldnt! I think any two consenting people who love eachother have as much right to marry as anyone else. I didnt know that was illegal?! That really sucks. You cant enforce your views on other people, that isnt cool. Dont like polygamy? Have one wife. Dont like the idea of marrying your cousin? Done marry them. Other people who want to arnt you and forcing your beliefs on them is fanatacism and mob rule. Even if you do this by social outcasting.

"Bob did something we dont like, lets go round to his house and hurl abuse at him!"
"YEAH! How dare his beliefs be different than ours!"

 

[Sacman]

How can I put this...

BAD EFFING IDEA!!!!!!! I'm not even convinced that you think it is a good idea because you've come to an internet forum seeking approval from a bunch of strangers when you know you won't get it from the people you actually know.

Again, BAD IDEA!

Of course I don't think it's a good idea!!! but I want this relationship to work so I'm going to find away to make it work!!!

I think that you just answered your own question. The definition of stupidity is to act contrary to ones knowledge.

Than I'm stupid. does it really matter? I mean I'm willing to do whatever I can to make us work stupid or not...

 

[sirkai007]

SNIP.

SNIP

I'm not actually wanting anymore than one wife (Why would I want to disappoint more than one woman in bed?) but I'm trying to make a point. Where do we draw the line on what is good and what is bad?

 

[Aurgelmir]

Anyway this is a continuation of a poll I started yesterday. It asked the question, " Would you date a close relative?" but in truth it was one of those relationship advice threads, that I never participate in. The whole thing started when I met a cousin I haven't seen in like a good couple years(I'm 17 she is 16 now) at a family reunion a week ago. I was out of town or else I would have posted earlier. I got the feeling she was coming on to me so I got her number and we've been talking and doing things together everyday since, I.E. Movies, mall, shopping ECT. All the time she's been dropping, extremely unsubtle, hints that she likes me more than a cousin. So at the time I thought, "I like her too we have a lot in common, and we have some decent chemistry together, so why not?" Today I worked up the nerve to tell her how I feel and to my surprise it wasn't extremely awkward, only slightly, but anyway she says she likes me too and, like me, wants there to be more between us. So were off but the first thing that crossed both of our minds was how the family would react. I mean our family is very supportive and close but that could cause more problems than actually help.

So what do you think I should do about the family? and have you ever been in a relationship that your family didn't approve of?

Also, keep in mind that it's legal in California to marry your cousins...

Edit: let's get something straight Her Grandmother was the 3rd cousin of my grandfather but was adopted by my great grandparents at a young age and from that point had a daughter than her daughter had a daughter...

Ok cynical man here.

You are 16-17 years old... chances are quite slim that the relationship will ever last. (Sorry, but its true).

So that leaves you with two options:
1. Have fun while it last with this girl.
or
2. End it now.

Personally as a cynical logical thinker I say go for 2. There are quite a lot of issues with dating relatives (most have been explained already), so why put yourselves through that ordeal? And then the ordeal of having to deal with the fallout afterwards?

I personally don't see anything wrong with it, its just not a logical thing to do. Besides you are 17, there should be plenty of other non-relatives out there.

 

[rockera]

well in all honesty her side of the family was adopted into the tree so I guess it's cool well good luck with that.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

SNIP.

SNIP

I'm not actually wanting anymore than one wife (Why would I want to disappoint more than one woman in bed?) but I'm trying to make a point. Where do we draw the line on what is good and what is bad?

The point where, if someone does something that has no effect on us at all, we have no right to go and forbid/abuse that person just because we dont agree. If his actions infringed on our rights then we could forbid it. However someone marrying who ever they want doesnt hurt us, it doesnt hurt anyone, people are just intolerant. Just because you dont like something, is it really fair to decide no one gets to do it ever? Even if it doesnt affect you at all? can i ban the right to eat onions? I hate them, many people i know do? Is there a difference?

 

[SwagLordYoloson]

Good luck with your relationship, you might need it to hold the family together through this, all I can see that could go wrong is if you break up, your families might feud or something like that ?

 

[Sacman]

Anyway this is a continuation of a poll I started yesterday. It asked the question, " Would you date a close relative?" but in truth it was one of those relationship advice threads, that I never participate in. The whole thing started when I met a cousin I haven't seen in like a good couple years(I'm 17 she is 16 now) at a family reunion a week ago. I was out of town or else I would have posted earlier. I got the feeling she was coming on to me so I got her number and we've been talking and doing things together everyday since, I.E. Movies, mall, shopping ECT. All the time she's been dropping, extremely unsubtle, hints that she likes me more than a cousin. So at the time I thought, "I like her too we have a lot in common, and we have some decent chemistry together, so why not?" Today I worked up the nerve to tell her how I feel and to my surprise it wasn't extremely awkward, only slightly, but anyway she says she likes me too and, like me, wants there to be more between us. So were off but the first thing that crossed both of our minds was how the family would react. I mean our family is very supportive and close but that could cause more problems than actually help.

So what do you think I should do about the family? and have you ever been in a relationship that your family didn't approve of?

Also, keep in mind that it's legal in California to marry your cousins...

Edit: let's get something straight Her Grandmother was the 3rd cousin of my grandfather but was adopted by my great grandparents at a young age and from that point had a daughter than her daughter had a daughter...

Ok cynical man here.

You are 16-17 years old... chances are quite slim that the relationship will ever last. (Sorry, but its true).

So that leaves you with two options:
1. Have fun while it last with this girl.
or
2. End it now.

Personally as a cynical logical thinker I say go for 2. There are quite a lot of issues with dating relatives (most have been explained already), so why put yourselves through that ordeal? And then the ordeal of having to deal with the fallout afterwards?

I personally don't see anything wrong with it, its just not a logical thing to do. Besides you are 17, there should be plenty of other non-relatives out there.

I just don't want to 'hit it and quit it' as many people say. I really do care for her and I'm not going to toss her aside...
besides as I've said before I have low self esteem and social skill problems so it's hard for me to communicate to regular people on a daily basis...

 

[Rubashov]

How close of a cousin? Genetically, at around 4 or 5 it's okay, just a social taboo.

This, theres no reason why not, you people find it disgusting for no reason at all other than social taboo. Ask why for a second. Youve been indocrinated to dislike it and to even go so far as to persecute those who do JUST because youve been told so. It disgusts me the level of hate some people have because they willingly accept that "because im told X is Y anyone that disagrees is disgusting". There is no logical reason why you should dislike this.

I personally wouldnt do it as i have no cousins and i would be persecuted by society. But i have no issues with those that do.

I'm a Mormon. Why can't I have multiple wives? Why is that so awful that there are laws against me marrying and taking responsibility for more than one woman and the children I have with them? If polygamy is bad then this is worse.

You can't have multiple wives because some polygamist sects have created abusive environments for people who join and/or are born into them. Lawmakers have irrationally extrapolated that the crimes of these particular sects are the result of polygamy itself rather than the extreme social isolation that has tended to accompany polygamy. Polygamy is not inherently bad; it is simply illegal. Marrying a fifth (possibly sixth?) cousin is not.

 

[sirkai007]

SNIP

I think you are young and being flooded with hormones that make you go nuts. I know I was there. You don't think as rationally when that's going on. It's hard to see all the consequences of this very clearly.

What you need to do is weigh the consequences that you can see. What will this do to your family life, odds of the relationship being successful, social ramifications and so on.

 

[NoNameMcgee]

It's just a retarded social taboo.

You're young and it probably won't amount to anything, on the other hand there's nothing wrong with what you're doing either. Just don't have kids.

On the other, other, hand, I am 99% certain your families are going to hate this idea. It won't be forgotten and will be remembered long after you (almost inevitably) break up. Probably ruin a lot of respect your family has for you (that's just the way it goes sadly) So I am not going to recommend this idea.

 

[Deleted]

Love is love is it not. Although me personally, I find it a bit... weird (sorry if that sounds offensive :/) no one can stop you from having a relationship. So by all means, go for it.

love is love but is teenage love, love? That is the question that I think OP needs to look at.

Its a huge risk genetically and socially so you need to make sure you really want to spend forever together.