So, I'm dating my cousin now... Yeah...

[Icehearted]

Sorry to sound as though I'm invalidating your feelings, sacman, but at your age there's no such thing as a serious romantic relationship. The kind of lasting thing you'll find will come when you're a bit older and puberty isn't screwing with your head.

Consider this; Ten years ago you were 7, were you at all at that age what you are now in thought, reason, priorities, desires, experience, and so on? Of course not! And when you are 27, you will be nothing like you are now. In fact this is probably one of those things where you will look back and wonder what was wrong with you. The things you find appealing about her and the relationship will have, at least for you, long since changed.

I know that love and lust are easily confused, I was your age once, so I can tell you from experience that things, and you, will most certainly change. You're still very young, and this aspect of your life is still very much in transition.

Long story short, this is from beginning to end a bad idea. Strength and willpower can spare the both of you a lot of regrets. It may seem hard now, god knows it is, but the grief you'll spare the both of you will be immeasurable if you just exercise some restraint and let reason lead rather than lust. If you have to ask if this is wrong, odds are good you already know the answer.

 

[Sark]

You aren't blood related. So I suppose I can forgive you. Otherwise, bleh.

 

[BrownGaijin]

are you white? if so its white trash territory. there are plenty of other chicks that will not give you retarded kids.

I'm Native American... Navajo to be specific and she is 3/4 Filipino and 1/4 Navajo...

(rattles head) You serious? She's only related to you by a quarter, and the other three quarters are from the other side of the world? Dude, can I make your wedding cake?

Kidding. At the risk of giving out bad advice I would say keep dating her. The stronger your relationship, the easier it is to defend it. And give it time! Hanky panky is all fun and nice, but it's more about the simpler things that will make a relationship strong (which in turn will lead to more hanky panky).

Finally, while I may be completely wrong here, if you establish a well developed relationship then you will know when the time is right to break the news/take the next step.

Good luck dude.

 

[Jezzascmezza]

Well if your family doesn't mind, and it's legal, I guess it's okay.
If I was in your position though, I'd just stick to being friends.

 

[Emperor Platypus]

SNIP

I think you are young and being flooded with hormones that make you go nuts. I know I was there. You don't think as rationally when that's going on. It's hard to see all the consequences of this very clearly.

What you need to do is weigh the consequences that you can see. What will this do to your family life, odds of the relationship being successful, social ramifications and so on.

I know what the consequences are but it's just that... I don't care. I truly care about her and I want to be with her. I can't guarantee it will work out and I can't guarantee that either of us will be happy in the end but the only thing that I can say for certain is that I will try my best...

now surely I am not the only one who sees this for what it really is right? A slightly more controversial version of Romeo and Julliet. My advice would therefore be: BOTH OF YOU STAY AWAY FROM POISON AND KNIVES.

Now then on to some real advice. You aren't related by blood so no problem there and you guys are therefore safe (as far as genetics go).

Frankly I can't tell the difference between this love and the love between two people who lived next to each other, hung out with each other all the time and before the falling in love part considered each other brother and sister (or brother and brother/ sister and sister if they swing that way).

Your family is prob gonna freak out about it. Just keep in mind you guys are only family by name and are therefore only in the wrong due to a social stigma (the one which states: "Dont date family it's nasty") which doesn't even apply all that much to your situation.

On a final note. You said you were/are bad in social interaction?
Are you sure then that you love her and aren't simply desperate and 'jumping' on the first girl who shows a lil bit of interest?

Sorry for asking but I suck at socialising and often catch myself pulling stuff like that.

 

[Odoylerules360]

You've made a huge mistake.

 

[RatRace123]

That's um, well I think that's weird. To each his own, I suppose. I wouldn't tap the familial still though, the reaction from family members, the overall disturbing nature of it.

But, it is your life and your cousin, and your feelings.

 

[brunothepig]

Edit: let's get something straight Her Grandmother was the 3rd cousin of my grandfather but was adopted by my great grandparents at a young age and from that point had a daughter than her daughter had a daughter...

That far removed I don't see a problem. If you trace family trees back enough, you'd be surprised at the relations one runs into. My girlfriend is actually the second cousin once removed of my mums boyfriend. Funny how these things happen.
No blood? Who cares, most partners are probably related somehow.

 

[Glass Joe]

Love is love is it not. Although me personally, I find it a bit... weird (sorry if that sounds offensive :/) no one can stop you from having a relationship. So by all means, go for it.

love is love but is teenage love, love? That is the question that I think OP needs to look at.

Its a huge risk genetically and socially so you need to make sure you really want to spend forever together.

I'm already a social outcast so why does that matter, and according to studies it's good for the gene pool to occasionally inbreed...
But now that I think about it what would her social life be like... I don't want her to leave it just for me...

Yeah it might be different for her, but if she's adopted like you said then really the only people who would have a problem with it are conservative parents or ignorant people.

Also remember; if you love something, let it go. That can be taken a multitude of ways, and I don't know which way you should take it but I'm typing it here anyways.

I just... I want this to work I do care about her but there are so many things to consider.

There really isn't enough information for you to get good advice. I couldn't tell you what to do because I don't know your family, but I'm 17 myself and from what I can tell you're not in love. You have a hard time getting laid so your body pumps hormones into your brain whenever you have a chance. Most of what you like about this girl is probably just a projection of what you want to like about her. You are very likely making a big mistake by thinking with your dick.

 

[Sacman]

snip

I know my generalization is rash and I am more than a bit jumpy but I do genuinely care for her. I'm not going to try and push a relationship with her I'll take it at her pace but I can't just dismiss it as a flood of hormones...

 

[OtherAlex]

This will be forwned upon and you must consider, no matter how lovely or perfect your relationship may have been, when it ends, the stigma of going out with your cousin will follow you and make meeting someone else very awkward, if not impossible.

Yes, genetically the blood is thin enough, and some American states are..I wont say understandably...tolerant of such an arrangement. But society, for the most part, wont accept it.

I wish you well, and I am not going to say "Love conquers all" because this isn't real love at 16, 17. I am a grizzled 22 year old and can tell you. Love gets more potent, elating and meaningful, it also gets more emotionally crippling and lingering. This and anything that is typed on this thread wont change your decision one iota of that I am sure, but just be advised.

 

[Nailz]

So what do you think I should do about the family? and have you ever been in a relationship that your family didn't approve of?

Also, keep in mind that it's legal in California to marry your cousins...

Just because something is legal, does not mean you should do it. You're 17, don't even think of marriage for the next ten years at least. I think what you should do is back off because shit like this carries a large potential of blowing up or biting you in the ass.

That being said, you do what you goto do I guess; but from what you've said, extremely inadvisable.

Edit:

saw this and was rofl

I am a grizzled 22 year old and can tell you.

"grizzled" 22 year old... oook there buddy, sure thing.

 

[Denamic]

People tend to seriously overstate the genetic dangers of incest.
It's really not that serious. It only starts being potentially detrimental a few generations down.
And with cousins, you've already got plenty of genetic variation between the two of you.
Besides, we're all related anyway. Common ancestors and all that.

Well, you're not related by blood in any case, so go for it.

 

[Hamster at Dawn]

It could be a bit awkward if you end on bad terms but I'm sure you're both nice enough people that that's unlikely. There is still a fairly high chance that it won't work out (nothing personal, just you're still young) but I don't see why you shouldn't give it a go. You're not even closely related by blood so I don't think that's a big deal BUT your family could see it that way. Still, I think it's better that you are honest. Tell your parents and they might be able to give you some advice, as long as they don't beat you or anything.

 

[TheSeventhLoneWolf]

Suppose it's alright to do so.

Many people in the threads are basically telling you what /they/ would do opposed to what they think you should do. I myself wouldn't do so as easily, but In your situation I believe you should give a shot around or two, go slow, see how things are and if they last, figure out a way to tell the family.

The last part will be the hardest, I think.

 

[Namespace123]

snip

 

[Reveras]

Hi mom, I gots me a boner for ma couz, can I hide it in her pooper?
Back to serious discussion land: I think it's a huge mistake, no matter HOW you take it, u're still blood related, call me old-fashioned but I would never do it.

 

[Mercsenary]

I'd say wait until you are both at least 18 that way technically you are both adults in the eyes of the law.

Otherwise... things could get messy...