All I can really say is do what feels right, and be carefull. And may I personally say good luck to you both.
So, I'm dating my cousin now... Yeah...
- Thread starter Sacman
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Okay dude. First don't post your personal life on the internet it's not safe there.Sacman said:
On Topic. You like her and she likes you, your not direct cousins so if you start "hitching the low ride" there's not gonna be serious problems.
All in all, Talk to her about it. or just follow a simple philsophy of life "Do what comes naturally" .
Keep in mind that if you're working under your dad, he can pressure you both through your job and through family (or they can have him act as their agent) to hit you hard. He currently controls both your income AND can make you dependent on the family to live whenever he feels like it (unless you can find another job FAST if he fires you, but in this economy I find that doubtful).
So I would very much recommend keeping your mouth shut.
So I would very much recommend keeping your mouth shut.
But you have the same grandparents? Legal or not that's freaking awkward at any wedding with you parents in law also being your uncle and aunt. Unless she's your 2nd cousin and/or once removed which IMHO is not really much of a cousin as that is too genetically distinct. BUT the genetic issue is complex, you need to look at the larger family tree.
And while the genetic risk of any on cousin+cousin offspring is not that bad, but is NOT sustainable, any kid you have is going to inherit a less-than-ideal genetic legacy that results in increased RISK! It's hard to fathom risk but it's not just their life but their own children that they have. Particularly it severely limits who THEY can have kids with for a healthy offspring.
Sure they may be born with 2 eyes and 10 fingers and toes but they may be sickly, weak and prone to infection, a subtle complex of many minor genetic disorders. Just look at the royal families of Europe who married cousins, Our own royal family has till about the 1950's been haunted by a blood disease that never totally went away due to such a narrow family tree.
But this is the age of safe and reliable contraception, even if you do love each other you don't HAVE to have kids. Before you ever consider it, go see a specialist on inherited genetic diseases, and then see another for a second opinion.
And while the genetic risk of any on cousin+cousin offspring is not that bad, but is NOT sustainable, any kid you have is going to inherit a less-than-ideal genetic legacy that results in increased RISK! It's hard to fathom risk but it's not just their life but their own children that they have. Particularly it severely limits who THEY can have kids with for a healthy offspring.
Sure they may be born with 2 eyes and 10 fingers and toes but they may be sickly, weak and prone to infection, a subtle complex of many minor genetic disorders. Just look at the royal families of Europe who married cousins, Our own royal family has till about the 1950's been haunted by a blood disease that never totally went away due to such a narrow family tree.
But this is the age of safe and reliable contraception, even if you do love each other you don't HAVE to have kids. Before you ever consider it, go see a specialist on inherited genetic diseases, and then see another for a second opinion.
Frankly, in my opinion anything beyond the daughter of one of your parents' siblings is not close enough to get worked up about. Even if you were first cousins, from a genetic standpoint, there wouldn't be a problem, unless the cycle was perpetuated over multiple generations.
But that has nothing to do with your family. I have nothing to do with your family. The Escapist and its members have nothing to do with your family. I have no idea how we could possibly give you useful advice. I voted that I would date a cousin, for the record, but honestly, you have to handle this yourself. If the relationship progresses far enough and you really want to make a life together, obviously you'll need to tell your family. Should you tell them now? No idea. You know your family best. I'll just caution you that many teenage relationships don't last for very long, and it might suck if you let your family know you two are dating, it causes problems, and then you break up anyway in a few months.
But hey, maybe your family agrees that you guys are not closely related enough for it to be worth getting worked up over.
But that has nothing to do with your family. I have nothing to do with your family. The Escapist and its members have nothing to do with your family. I have no idea how we could possibly give you useful advice. I voted that I would date a cousin, for the record, but honestly, you have to handle this yourself. If the relationship progresses far enough and you really want to make a life together, obviously you'll need to tell your family. Should you tell them now? No idea. You know your family best. I'll just caution you that many teenage relationships don't last for very long, and it might suck if you let your family know you two are dating, it causes problems, and then you break up anyway in a few months.
But hey, maybe your family agrees that you guys are not closely related enough for it to be worth getting worked up over.
Well all I can say to that is that I hope it works out for you guys.Sacman said:
(yea yea, sue me if you want to. The fact that I've never felt the warm embrace of love doesn't mean that I a total sucker for happy endings).
As long as you don't have kids assuming your "cousin" is a pretty close blood relative, you're in the clear. In my opinion there's nothing oh so horribly atrocious in what you're doing, OP. Bad social taboos are bad, and as long as you're aware of actual real issues and can deal with it, I see no problem.
Most people will end up hating you anyways. Be happy you're not gay and living in some fundamentalist redneck town, hah.
Most people will end up hating you anyways. Be happy you're not gay and living in some fundamentalist redneck town, hah.
um you're welcome I guess...Sacman said:
If you don't mind me asking why are you on the interwebs responding to critisism and advice from people while you could be out and about with your new gf?
Or in other words: log off and go and enjoy each others company. (prob the best damn advice I'm gonna give all day/week).
It's a film by Wes Anderson. He also made The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Fantastic Mr Fox and a bunch of others. They all have a weird tone, but are very good.Sacman said:
The Royal Tenenbaums is just about a family (the Tenenbaums) who've become estranged from each other, so the father (Gene Hackman) tries to get them all together again and win back their love by pretending to have stomach cancer. Yeah, it sounds pretty grim, but it's a genuinely good movie with lots of ups and downs in terms of mood. I'd recommend it to anyone, despite it's relevance to this topic. It also has an all-star cast: The Hackman, Danny Glover, Owen & Luke Wilson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Bill Murray, Ben Stiller and possibly more.
Even if you don't like many of those actors you should give it a go - The Life Aquatic is probably the only film where I've seen Owen Wilson act (rather than just be type-cast). Wes Anderson gets good performances. Either way, I think you'll enjoy it because you'll be able to relate to the love story in it.
OH COME ON!!Rubashov said:
That is so ridiculously distant! I mean 50% of people who get married are likely to be that close but simply not know due to no one's family history going that far back, wide and in as much detail. Remember every generation you go back, the number of (grand)parents DOUBLE. So everyone would actually have 2^6 = 64 great-great-great-great-grandparents and if all their descendants have 2-3 children you have a VAST number of those eligible to be your "cousin"
Hell I bet if I looked hard enough I could prove I was the "cousin" of any random Hollywood actor.
That is playing seriously fast and loose with degrees of separation. I mean having the same common ancestor SIX GENERATIONS back very easily the guy could be as Asian looking as Jackie Chan and the girl as Black as Grace Jones. Seriously, in that sense we are ALL COUSINS, every single human being traces them-self back to a single common ancestor, a single grandparent.
OP: Don't waste your time with a geneticist, you barely qualify as cousins. 6 parental generations adds in so much new genetic material. You have no more to worry than any utterly random girl you meet.
Bloody hell. That's barely close enough to qualify as an acquaintance, never mind cousin.Sacman said:
Go for it.
