Whoah, it's funny how cultures can differ. It's not that unusual for me, personally, to think of someone marrying their cousin. I know a few people who have done it, and in Pakistan it's acceptable. But you guys sound slightly disgusted by it. >.>
So, I'm dating my cousin now... Yeah...
- Thread starter Sacman
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I am not saying 'hit and quit', I am suggesting outright to quit before it gets to serious.Sacman said:
My suggestion is that there is more people out there, even for shy guys with low self esteem and social skills
and excuse like that makes it sound like you are settling for what you can get, and thats not fair for either of you. Not saying you are settling for her, but it is probably not going to help your social skills or maybe even your self esteem to date her. Its funny about things like that, you just need to practice to become better.
But you are still young, and there is no rush in getting a steady girlfriend, at least not when it gives you so much problems.
PS: have you and her talked about this though?
Yeah, you're not blood related, so schmeh. Go for it. You don't have to tell your family immediately either; wait until you know it's a long time thing before you have to confront that. It'll almost certainly be messy.
I'm trying to view this from an objective non-judgmental perspective. It's hard to cut through all that popular social stigma.
When it comes to dating family, no matter how many generations a part your two may be, just about everyone is going to have some dramatic reaction to it. In ancient times, dating (and eventual breeding) in the family kept the blood line strong. Where blood lines were important, this was done a lot. Science has since shown us what happens when family dates family. And that is what spurns the social stigma. Rightfully so, too.
I have no advice, no judgment, and no words of reassurance. I have a perfectly neutral posture on this one. I do have observations from the discussion that followed. Almost ironic, in a way. There was a near flood of passive jokes about rednecks, and this particular taboo. Seems the escapists code doesn't protect against that particular form of discrimination.
I'm a gay woman. The LGBT community takes a lot of discriminatory flak from those that don't agree with what the community stands for. There are rules in businesses, schools, and organizations that try to prevent discrimination on LGBT persons. In 20 years, I expect things will have progressed to a point where LGBT will have blended in with the rest of the communities, and it won't be as prevailing an issue as it is today.
I don't see that happening with (even 5 generations removed) incest. I think it will be just as much a social damnation in 50 years as it is today, as it was 20 years again the 90's, as it was 50 years ago. Unlike LGBT rights and respect, there is real scientific evidence to support why incest is generally bad, and that carries social implications and judgments.
I do wonder though, young as you are, how well you've done with dating. If you were to, say, be dating often, and have lots of fun through dating, then I'd say you've found an actual spark. If however you date rarely (to 'if ever'), and then you found your 5th removed cousin, then I would wonder if you just aren't leaping to an opportunity that has presented itself, reguardless of whom it was.
Good luck to you. I do hope things turn out well, whichever way you go with this. If you keep dating your cousin, then I wish you the best, since the stigma that surrounds even the implications will haunt you forever in family and social situations.
(rereading what I've written, it does sound like I've strayed from my neutral posture into a more negative one. That wasn't my intention.)
When it comes to dating family, no matter how many generations a part your two may be, just about everyone is going to have some dramatic reaction to it. In ancient times, dating (and eventual breeding) in the family kept the blood line strong. Where blood lines were important, this was done a lot. Science has since shown us what happens when family dates family. And that is what spurns the social stigma. Rightfully so, too.
I have no advice, no judgment, and no words of reassurance. I have a perfectly neutral posture on this one. I do have observations from the discussion that followed. Almost ironic, in a way. There was a near flood of passive jokes about rednecks, and this particular taboo. Seems the escapists code doesn't protect against that particular form of discrimination.
I'm a gay woman. The LGBT community takes a lot of discriminatory flak from those that don't agree with what the community stands for. There are rules in businesses, schools, and organizations that try to prevent discrimination on LGBT persons. In 20 years, I expect things will have progressed to a point where LGBT will have blended in with the rest of the communities, and it won't be as prevailing an issue as it is today.
I don't see that happening with (even 5 generations removed) incest. I think it will be just as much a social damnation in 50 years as it is today, as it was 20 years again the 90's, as it was 50 years ago. Unlike LGBT rights and respect, there is real scientific evidence to support why incest is generally bad, and that carries social implications and judgments.
I do wonder though, young as you are, how well you've done with dating. If you were to, say, be dating often, and have lots of fun through dating, then I'd say you've found an actual spark. If however you date rarely (to 'if ever'), and then you found your 5th removed cousin, then I would wonder if you just aren't leaping to an opportunity that has presented itself, reguardless of whom it was.
Good luck to you. I do hope things turn out well, whichever way you go with this. If you keep dating your cousin, then I wish you the best, since the stigma that surrounds even the implications will haunt you forever in family and social situations.
(rereading what I've written, it does sound like I've strayed from my neutral posture into a more negative one. That wasn't my intention.)
Most relationships fail.
If you want to risk losing all status and respect you have in your family in favor of partaking in a relationship that will probably fail, go ahead. Do I think it's wrong? No, you could probably pick somebody out on the street who's more related to you than that. Do I think it's incredibly stupid? Indeed.
If you want to risk losing all status and respect you have in your family in favor of partaking in a relationship that will probably fail, go ahead. Do I think it's wrong? No, you could probably pick somebody out on the street who's more related to you than that. Do I think it's incredibly stupid? Indeed.
Reads like a manga XD (i.e KissxSis)
Family by name and not by blood? yeh nothing wrong with that. Just keep that a secret from EVERYONE outside your family.
Family by name and not by blood? yeh nothing wrong with that. Just keep that a secret from EVERYONE outside your family.
So... you're not actual cousins? XD.Sacman said:
Go for it, it can only go as badly as any other teenage relationships. She's put it into play, if you guys end up falling out, it's her fault. Same as if you kept ignoring her, she'd still fall out with you.
I have a fancy for one of my cousins related by grandparents (our dads are brothers), I'm 19, she's 18. I have no idea what she thinks of me. When I tried getting a bit closer a few nights ago but my sister gave me a slap on the wrist
. Probably a good move as I see them every year without fail XD.I'm a very bad man
.Edit: Although I believe if you wanted a normal person's opinion, this is it.
How does that guy not have more posts? I swear he blends into the tapestry he fits so well in.Bruin said:
If you have to, but its kinda condemned by sociatity (aaargh how do you spell that?!), normally genes as well, and just is squick. Please try not to have children. Help the genetic future of mankind.