So, I'm dating my cousin now... Yeah...

[captaincabbage]

Dude! Haven't you seen Arrested Development!??

lol seriously tho, this would be a massive mistake, if you broke up (which is likely, since you're just teenagers) then think of the result of your relationship between her.

Not to mention it's kinda creepy.

 

[Sacman]

Yeah... Ill just leave this here.

But I know how to play the banjo...

 

[BlackWidower]

Hmmm...

I remember seeing a documentary about this on 20/20. This was a long time ago. One of the cases on the show involved two...I think they were second or third, but they might be first cousins, I don't know...who had three kids together...who were the smartest in their class.

That's typically the concern right? Inbreeding. The kids will be idiots with a leg growing out of their head. Obviously this is not the case. Apparently the odds are two percent, which is a lot lower than other things.

But apparently, from what you said, you two are like fifth cousins...through adoption...or something. If your family wasn't as close as you seem to be, and you two just met on the street and hit it off it wouldn't be an issue. I haven't seen my cousins in...well...ever. I think I met a few of them once. Half my family I've never met because my dad ran off before I was born.

If I met a girl, we hit it off, started dating, then I found out she's my dad's second cousin's daughter, (making her my third cousin) I wouldn't give a shit. I might ask if her family is still coming to the wedding. They say it's an affront to god, I reply that I'm an atheist so I don't give a shit.

Love doesn't give a shit and neither should you. Besides, if you step far enough back, you will notice we are all cousins...distant cousins sure, but cousins none the less. Look at the theory of the Mitochondrial Eve. We all came from one woman, or at least our mitochondria did.

So I guess all I have to say is have fun you crazy kids. Though before you start looking at having kids of your own, you might want to see a geneticist...just to be safe.

 

[Cgull]

You're breaking no laws and, to be honest, if she's a distant relation anyway then there's no real harm in it, barring possible family reaction.

Give it a few months and if things are still going well then maybe it'd be time to tell everyone, ther's no point possibly causing a riot if one of you ends it next week.

 

[Lineoutt]

That's just gross.

/thread

Maybe its just in my family but we are all super connected. There is one main rule: Stay the fuck away from any romances with family or else you will be exiled neglected.

I love my family and it seems sick and wrong. Find love somewhere else, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

Honestly bud, there are many more fish in the sea. This is a huge mistake. You could potentially ruin your relationship with your family for the rest of your life. Just find a girl you're not related to.

 

[Sacman]

Hmmm...

I remember seeing a documentary about this on 20/20. This was a long time ago. One of the cases on the show involved two...I think they were second or third, but they might be first cousins, I don't know...who had three kids together...who were the smartest in their class.

That's typically the concern right? Inbreeding. The kids will be idiots with a leg growing out of their head. Obviously this is not the case. Apparently the odds are two percent, which is a lot lower than other things.

But apparently, from what you said, you two are like fifth cousins...through adoption...or something. If your family wasn't as close as you seem to be, and you two just met on the street and hit it off it wouldn't be an issue. I haven't seen my cousins in...well...ever. I think I met a few of them once. Half my family I've never met because my dad ran off before I was born.

If I met a girl, we hit it off, started dating, then I found out she's my dad's second cousin's daughter, (making her my third cousin) I wouldn't give a shit. I might ask if her family is still coming to the wedding. They say it's an affront to god, I reply that I'm an atheist so I don't give a shit.

Love doesn't give a shit and neither should you. Besides, if you step far enough back, you will notice we are all cousins...distant cousins sure, but cousins none the less. Look at the theory of the Mitochondrial Eve. We all came from one woman, or at least our mitochondria did.

So I guess all I have to say is have fun you crazy kids. Though before you start looking at having kids of your own, you might want to see a geneticist...just to be safe.

I'm less concerned about the inbreeding, mostly because I hate kids, but I'm more concerned about how I should go about approaching the relationship for it to last...

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Well, from reading how unrelated she is to you. I don't see much of a problem here.

 

[Zing]

Hmm, okay, I did not realize how distant of relatives you were..if I'm reading it right, you aren't related by blood at all, and she's like your 5th cousin...That's not even related in my book. If your families going to be okay with it, I'd go ahead, just don't tell other people, there might be some prejudice, that's unwarranted.

There's not going to be any chance of inbreeding...but honestly, if you just met her...and you're 17...why are you even thinking about marriage and children..

 

[Tibike77]

let's get something straight Her Grandmother was the 3rd cousin of my grandfather but was adopted by my great grandparents at a young age and from that point had a daughter than her daughter had a daughter...

I don't see what the fuss is about... you're 2nd degree cousins by alliance and only 4th degree cousins by blood.
It would be mildly unusual/awkward if you were 2nd cousins by blood too, not just by adoption... but since you aren't, it doesn't really matter, now does it ?
In fact, a recent study (http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/story?id=4258128&page=1) has shown that it's actually not such a bad idea at all to have a family with 3rd degree cousins rather than somebody less related (or unrelated).

On the other hand... all I can say is have as much fun as you like, BUT don't rush into things too fast, too much or too hard.
Relationships started at around your ages seldom last more than a couple of years, let alone a lifetime.
You're still kids, and you should enjoy that particular situation as long as still possible.

 

[Ensiferum]

There's nothing wrong with your relationship because you aren't closely related enough. Which is a great thing, congratulations. My advice would be to enjoy every day you have with her and see where it goes, but don't tell your family until you're certain that she's the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. I'd say if by the time she's 18 your relationship has stayed strong and you've grown continuously to love each other then marry the girl. Some of your family may not like it but if you bend over backwards trying to please everyone then you'll never be happy yourself.

 

[Cody211282]

That's just gross.

/thread

Maybe its just in my family but we are all super connected. There is one main rule: Stay the fuck away from any romances with family or else you will be exiled neglected.

I love my family and it seems sick and wrong. Find love somewhere else, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

hell I don't even see most my family and still think that's wrong, I mean damn did Cali run out of women or something?

 

[londelen]

If you're serious about it, good for you. You know what they say, incest is WINcest.

 

[OceanRunner]

Personally, I'm of the opinion that if two people are in love, it doesn't matter who they are.
I may find certain things more than a little creepy, like that grandmother and grandson who were together.*shudder*
However, they're completely free to live their lives as they see fit. They're not hurting me or anyone else. So que sera, sera.


If you fell in love and it's all good between just the two of you, as long as you fully understand the consequences, then congrats on meeting someone you can love.

I agree. There are better things to do with a relationship than worry about what people will think of it.

 

[gutterball17]

I would say wait awhile and see what happens you don't wanna tell your family and have them freak out and then just break up later. If it seems like it's gonna work out then that would probably be the right time to tell them. Also, from the description it doesn't sound like she's really related to you very closely at all, so no problems genetically. But as long as it's legal and you truly care about each other I say go for it! Love strikes at the strangest times in the strangest places.

 

[BlackWidower]

Edit: let's get something straight Her Grandmother was the 3rd cousin of my grandfather but was adopted by my great grandparents at a young age and from that point had a daughter than her daughter had a daughter...

thats like...dude....thats pratally not your cousin.... WE might be more family than that...

Yeah that's what I thought too. But his parents might not be so open-minded I figure.

Yeah my grandparents in particular are super conservative...

Okay, to be quite frank, that's more their problem than it is yours. If they disown you or something say, "Fine, I'd rather be around people who think unconditional love actually means something anyways."

I'm sure you got enough friends, who needs family anyway?

 

[joshthor]

are you white? if so its white trash territory. there are plenty of other chicks that will not give you retarded kids.

 

[Super Toast]

That's just gross.

I don't want to sound like a bigot but seriously... this.