So Let's Talk About Sex....

[justnotcricket]

I've definitely used sex as a way to feel close to someone without actually being close with them.

In all honesty I found it liberating and more than a little exciting to be inside someone within days, sometimes even hours, of meeting them. I never thought of it as a conquest or as something to brag about; They were moments. Shared moments in which two people were as honest and open and vulnerable as they could possibly be, and from which both emerged unscathed. And that was all that we asked of each other. To me that's beautiful. It's not the way I'd want to spend my entire life, but it's something I'm glad I did.

Well said =)

I don't think there's anything wrong with having an active (and varied) sex life, provided that you are not hurting anyone (including yourself) either emotionally or in infectious terms. As for STDs, I've never seen a problem with asking someone I was planning on sleeping with for a health test. I was happy to go and have one, and then we can show our bits of paper to each other, and feel free to do what we wanted. Perhaps that seems a bit awkward, but it certainly relieves the mind and encourages openness and honesty.

To those who say they think girls who have had many sexual partners are sluts, or that they wouldn't sleep with those girls because 'ew, it's not special', then I give you a hearty electronic clip around the ear for being an archaic bastard. This hearkens back to the old double standard of girls being sluts while guys get to be 'studs'. There is nothing wrong with a girl having slept with a number of other people before you - the only reason to worry is that perhaps she might have caught something, which is easily assuaged by the method I outline above of both of you going and getting tested just to clear the way for the fun.

In fact, a girl having had more sexual partners is probably a good thing, because she has more experience, knows what she likes and is probably not afraid to let you know what is good for her. She is probably also more skilled in what might give you pleasure. I fail to see how that is a disadvantage, unless you're the type of guy who likes his girls to be quiet, obedient and virginal, there just for him to break the seal on and use.

As for it being less 'special', well that is just stupid, I'm afraid. The degree to which sex is 'special' has nothing to do with how many people the other person has slept with and everything to do with how you feel about each other. The sex I have with someone I love is about US, not about anyone else.

 

[Steppin Razor]

Indeed Neko-Testarosssa! (looks like it anyway )
One would think that people who sleeps around a lot would appriciate another one who sleeps around a lot since in their mind, they're good at sex if they've slept with a lot.

You know of the awesome that is Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha?
I won't lie, the avatars resemblance to a neko form of Testarossa is part of why I like it so much.

And you'd think that, but you'd be wrong for that is logical. And logic seems to scare some people for some reason.

 

[SimuLord]

With the incredible sentimental attachment some folks here ascribe to virginity, I'm beginning to think that everyone should fuck on the first day of kindergarten just so we won't have a world full of self-righteous teenagers with a moral qualm about screwing around. Not that I personally mind, I've got a half dozen cashed-in V cards in my possession, all save one (my first) from women 18 or older, due in large part to me spending my early twenties on a sort of quest to boldly go where no man had gone before as often as possible.

 

[Chainsaws_of_War_2]

Sex is giving in to the human instinct to make more of yourself, end of story.

No matter how many people talk about the "magic" and "purity" of it, that's about all it is, you can't make it anything more.

 

[Julianking93]

I've got a half dozen cashed-in V cards in my possession

That honestly makes me somewhat sick to hear...

 

[saintchristopher]

As for it being less 'special', well that is just stupid, I'm afraid. The degree to which sex is 'special' has nothing to do with how many people the other person has slept with and everything to do with how you feel about each other. The sex I have with someone I love is about US, not about anyone else.

My final word on the matter: It doesn't matter how many times they've had sex. It definitely doesn't matter how many times you've had sex. It doesn't even matter that your partner was willing to have sex.

What DOES matter is that your partner is willing to have sex with you. THAT is what makes it special every god damned time.

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

Sex should be reserved for marriage. End of story. Your body should be solely and eternally for your husband/wife. Nobody else. Your virginity is a priceless gift that can only be given once, and it should be given to that one person that you have decided to spend the rest of your life with, a person worthy of that gift.

Casual sex? Stupid as well as horrible. It's merely a temporary satisfaction of the body, which means that you'd rather do what your body wants instead of your mind, with disregard to your circumstances, ambitions, and reputation. Lack of self-control.

Waiting for love? If you are willing to wait for love...why not wait for marriage? It will be that much more sacred and special to the husband and wife, and the marriage will be strengthened by the trust and devotion that waiting conveys. There will be no doubt in either person's mind about their faithfulness.

As you probably guessed, yes, I am a Christian. Let the insulting commence. I happen to think that there is more to a relationship then just sex, and that sex is a fun and healthy bonus to the marriage. Sex is fun. It's proven. But if you're having sex just for sex's sake, then you're being no better then a dog in rut. There must be a foundation.

While I respect your opinion I widely disagree with the notion sex should be regulated to after marriage. It is both a significant and minimal part of a relationship, and yes I am aware of the perplexing nature of that statement. What I mean is you made find you do not connect with someone in a physical manner as you did otherwise. There have been numerous examples of this and it can founder a relationship in the long haul. Furthermore, I believe it places too much significance on virginity; something that is ultimately nothing beyond a terminology to describe someone who has not yet had sex. You can have as equally a wonderful experience with another person years after having lost your virginity.

Casual sex is not a lack of self-control, not necessarily. Some people simply fancy open relationships or have no desire to commit themselves to someone. You admit sex is fun, that is essentially what casual sex is meant to be, fun. While not everyone fancies the prospect, myself included, it is not worthy of being condemned.

I suppose I cannot wrap my mind upon the rationale and significance you have placed on marriage. To me while it may be a celebration of your love to each other, it is by technical definition nothing more than a piece of paper and an enormously expensive party. You can experience every aspect of life whether you marry or not. Granted, it all comes to personal preference. I would rather live with a person, have an intimate/physical relationship with them, long before marriage.

Nonetheless, to each other own. ^^

 

[saintchristopher]

No orgies here I don't think. Just one on one fucking with someone new every night.

Pretty gross. I mean....it's gotta be like elephant ears or something down there by now >>

I've got a half dozen cashed-in V cards in my possession

That honestly makes me somewhat sick to hear...

Is it hard to type from up on your high horse?

 

[Julianking93]

No orgies here I don't think. Just one on one fucking with someone new every night.

Pretty gross. I mean....it's gotta be like elephant ears or something down there by now >>

I've got a half dozen cashed-in V cards in my possession

That honestly makes me somewhat sick to hear...

Is it hard to type from up on your high horse?

No, not really.

Though, I don't really see how I'm being high and mighty. I just stated that I don't like what that person said.

And how is me stating that orgies = loosness means I'm up on a high horse?

 

[saintchristopher]

No orgies here I don't think. Just one on one fucking with someone new every night.

Pretty gross. I mean....it's gotta be like elephant ears or something down there by now >>

I've got a half dozen cashed-in V cards in my possession

That honestly makes me somewhat sick to hear...

Is it hard to type from up on your high horse?

No, not really.

Oh, good. While I sat here watching you judge people I was suddenly worried you'd lose your balance and fall back down to reality.

 

[Julianking93]

No orgies here I don't think. Just one on one fucking with someone new every night.

Pretty gross. I mean....it's gotta be like elephant ears or something down there by now >>

I've got a half dozen cashed-in V cards in my possession

That honestly makes me somewhat sick to hear...

Is it hard to type from up on your high horse?

No, not really.

Oh, good. While I sat here watching you judge people I was suddenly worried you'd lose your balance and fall back down to reality.

Nope. I'm all good up here. ^-^

 

[Mr S]

I'm a 17 year old virgin, but I'm not one of those who just wanna fuck whatever comes walking by. Sex is supposed to be a special thing, not a sandwich you get when feeling hungry.

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

To those who say they think girls who have had many sexual partners are sluts, or that they wouldn't sleep with those girls because 'ew, it's not special', then I give you a hearty electronic clip around the ear for being an archaic bastard. This hearkens back to the old double standard of girls being sluts while guys get to be 'studs'. There is nothing wrong with a girl having slept with a number of other people before you - the only reason to worry is that perhaps she might have caught something, which is easily assuaged by the method I outline above of both of you going and getting tested just to clear the way for the fun.

Honestly, the rationale behind guys being turned off by girls with a variety of past sexual partners derives from jealousy and/or insecurity. For many, there is a degree of pride involved and not every male is capable of easily disregarding this misguided notion, leaving them to ponder if they were your best. It is a rarity someone truly believes it is disgusting to have slept around over the years. The exception would perhaps be women who have an abundance of partners in a short period time, however even guys are held in a less plenty light in that event, hence the terms manwhore and pervert, although the latter has additional uses.

Either way, it is usually about whether or not they were your best, and the more partners you have had, the less this may be likely. Of course some are simply jerks, thus is merely my assumption when you exclude those. Personally I could not care less. If I care enough about the person, who they had sex with in the past is not my concern nor my business.

 

[Julianking93]

Honestly, the rationale behind guys being turned off by girls with a variety of past sexual partners derives from jealousy and/or insecurity. For many, there is a degree of pride involved and not every male is capable of easily disregarding this misguided notion, leaving them to ponder if they were your best. It is a rarity someone truly believes it is disgusting to have slept around over the years. The exception would perhaps be women who have an abundance of partners in a short period time, however even guys are held in a less plenty light in that event, hence the terms manwhore and pervert, although the latter has additional uses.

Either way, it is usually about whether or not they were your best, and the more partners you have had, the less this may be likely. Of course some are simply jerks, thus is merely my assumption when you exclude those. Personally I could not care less. If I care enough about the person, who they had sex with in the past is not my concern nor my business.

I agree that for many, it derives from jealousy or insecurity, but for some people, they view it in both genders and more about the "cleanliness" of the sexuality rather than it being solely based out of jealousy.

 

[keve4433]

I personally don't stand by abstinence. I think that it is unhealthy to keep those urges suppressed,. Not only that, but I personally want to have everything found out and feel comfortable with sex before I get married and I would actually like if it were the same for my partner, not only because having a little experience might make things a little more fun, but I think it would actually make the experience little more special knowing what it feels like to have done it with someone you might not have been as close to. I don't plan on running around and fucking everything that moves, but a little casual sex isn't a bad thing as long as your safe about it. Though there is a line, if your just fucking and chucking women/men then there is something wrong with that, at that point your just treating that person like a sex toy. Using them until your done with them then throwing them away.

I'm not trying to convert anyone, I'm just trying to say if you feel you are truly ready to handle both the physical and emotional parts of sex then go for it.

I am 17, a virgin, and born again christian if anyone is wondering.

 

[Jimson]

I am all for open relationships, but only if both parties talk about it first, and come up with rules.

I also tried the whole, sex with out relationship thing, and it didn't work for me, I always felt terrible about it, like I am expected to do something, and it would get odd. That's not to say I don't think people should be able to do it, it's just not for me.

 

[Legendairy314]

Sure Sex is all well and good but if you have an interconnection with someone you deeply feel for when doing the deed then it's a whole new experience. Casual sex (to me) is more a way of 2 people relieving that sexual tension at the same time than individually.

 

[Kynexy82]

Pfft sex is just sex there is nothing spiritual about it. Hell i would probably be in the triple digits by now at least if head counts probably even more. Can honestly say i have had sex with 8 different people in 1 day and it was great ( Not an orgy either ) I dont see sex as a big deal dont even remember my first time but the whole ride has been fun. Though now that i am in a serious relationship i am quite happy sleeping with the one man for the rest of my life.

 

[xDarc]

snip

We tell similar stories, except I'm a little younger - and only had sex with three people before the horror happened.

You had sex with 3 people and then caught herpes? Bummer. It's not the end of the world though, if a girl likes you it's rarely a deal breaker. Especially when you get older.

There's been more than a handful of times where the girl I'm about to bed confesses she has it too after I say my piece. Lots of dishonest people out there- but guys are the worst about coming clean with it.

Another generation and half the US will be on valtrex. No biggie.

Anyhow, given the opportunity to do everything all over again- I might do a few things differently- but the experience was infinitely worth it.

You can't put a dollar amount on the potential knowledge to be gained by bedding that many people in an honest way.

I include honest because I never lied to anyone, manipulated, drugged, told them I love them, etc. I connected with a lot of them on some level, and that's where the experience comes in.

Someone who's banged their way into the triple digits might be a decent lay- experienced that way- but still might not know shit about shit; depending on the circumstances behind their endeavors.

For me- I was just a teenager nursing a broken heart who didn't care much for drugs or alcohol. Those were the first things I turned to and had bad experiences all around, and stayed away. Instead, I began seducing people. Over and over again.

I know I've hurt some feelings- but that's only because people think they can find a way to trap you, fix you, make you want to stay, make you feel emotions... even if you tell them straight to their face you can't, won't, don't.

So I've never felt bad about anything I've done.

I think it has a lot to do with being who I am today, and I like who I am. I know that I don't have to try prove anything to myself, I don't get nervous when thrown into new situations with new people, whatever they may be- and I can relate to and understand just about anyone.

I often wonder what I would be like if I were one of those zombies in high school. The couple that stayed together into their early to mid 20's, for reasons unknown to them, and then it slowly dawned on em' that the odds of their soul mate, their perfect match, whatever- being in their graduating class out of the whole wide world, is slim to none.

So they get divorced, probably ruin some kids lives in the process at this point- and venture out into the world, alone, scared, with everything to lose for something so elusive. They don't want to take risks. They don't want to waste time. Girls get pets and the boys get toys. They have no idea what they want.

I've seen what's out there. I have a really good idea. I know what I want. I did it at all when I didn't have anything to lose. No career. No marriage. No kids.

Now I'm wiser and I'm ready... and all I'm seeing around me are damaged, little people.

P.S.

Forgot where I was going with all that. Basically I think lots of casual sex under honest circumstances makes well rounded individuals. At least with men it does.

I haven't met too many women who will come clean with their experiences. The girl I'm dating now, the 33 year old, has been with more than I have- about 300 partners... and she seems really cool. She's had problems with drugs and alcohol though and has 3 years sober- so we're a slightly different breed. She also wasn't much of a dater. She's such a noob when it comes to dating. I think a lot of her lays were bad times, given the booze and dope.

This is probably the case for a lot of these women, because sex has a profound way of speeding up emotional attachment for them. You don't meet too many proud womenwhores; because it's generally just not in their nature to have sex without emotions.

There was another discussion in which men who cheat can be forgiven and realtionships can often times be salvaged- because the cheating was purely physical and there is still love there. When women cheat though, it's usually because the emotional part of the relationship is just over.