So my mom still thinks I'm gay... (A Follow-Up)

[Leg End]

Hehe... well... I can almost guarantee all of you will be posting LOL WUT pear after this but... yeah.

Well, it was when my mom told her friend that I wasn't a Pedophile.(DON'T REPORT, LEMME EXPLAIN FIRST.)
My mom doesn't want any of her friends to know(somewhat understandable), but it's the way she told her. Her friend overheard me discussing the matter with my friends on Xbox LIVE because she was staying in the apartment next door(with the owner's permission), and the walls are paper thin. She proceeded to ask my mother about it and she responded with something along the lines of "oh no, Samuel isn't one of those sick people, he's not a molester". I was sadface the way she told her because, if you have seen me post before, you notice I am very... adamant, about who/what I am. I am a non-offending, non-predatory Pedophile(the grand majority are similar), so when she said that, I just dropped and said "wat... mom, you could have told her differently... hell, you should have told her I was if you were going to say that...".

Yeah... my issue is waaayyy out of the tone of the subject, isn't it? : /

[sub]I'll just go now...[/sub]

[sub]EDIT: Playing GTA IV, littlelacysurprisepageant joke on the radio. I freaked out because it was when I was typing this. XD[/sub]

 

[-Ulven-]

For this plan, you will need:

Two (2) antlers, preferably moose, goat horns acceptable but not preferred
One (1) guitar, electric, ideally a Les Paul Standard, Gibson or Epiphone
One (1) amplifier, may require external power, consult your manual
Some (?) industrial adhesive, epoxy
One (1) circular saw
Fifteen to twenty (15-20) road flares
Ten (10) flannel lumberjack shirts
One (1) mechanical rat
Some soldering experience

Use the glue to fasten the antlers to your head and practice moose calls (goat calls also acceptable). Create a circle of flares outside of your homes, you will need to be able to remotely activate them. Equip the flannel shirts (all 10 of them) and deploy the rat in your home. It will need to be instructed to lead your mother out of the house. Once she has entered the circle, ignite the flares and perform "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen on the electric guitar. The flares will prevent her from escaping, and you will be able to complete the song. When you have finished the song, return to your house and use the saw to detach the antlers from your head. You will have some time before the flares burn out, and you should use this time to destroy the antlers completely to conceal your plot. If she does not return to the house, she may be unconscious. If this occurs, just wait, as she will regain consciousness eventually. When she re-enters the home, declare "THE MOOSE [or goat] SPIRIT HAS LIBERATED ME FROM MY SEXUALITY, PRAISE THE LORD". She will believe you, and will ask no further questions.

Or tell her to mind her own fucking business.

Also this will do nicely.

 

[Lord_Panzer]

Maybe you are and don't know it yet?

Mother knows best.

 

[ReservoirAngel]

My mum had a brief period of telling people I wanted to get a sex change to become a girl.

This was during the short time between her noticing I was pretty feminine, and me telling her I was gay. So she jumps to random conclusions and before I know it, all her friends, their kids, AND THEIR KIDS' FRIENDS all think I'm a woman trapped in a man's body.

Fantastic. Thanks mum...

Hehe... well... I can almost guarantee all of you will be posting LOL WUT pear after this but... yeah.

Well, it was when my mom told her friend that I wasn't a Pedophile.(DON'T REPORT, LEMME EXPLAIN FIRST.)
My mom doesn't want any of her friends to know(somewhat understandable), but it's the way she told her. Her friend overheard me discussing the matter with my friends on Xbox LIVE because she was staying in the apartment next door(with the owner's permission), and the walls are paper thin. She proceeded to ask my mother about it and she responded with something along the lines of "oh no, Samuel isn't one of those sick people, he's not a molester". I was sadface the way she told her because, if you have seen me post before, you notice I am very... adamant, about who/what I am. I am a non-offending, non-predatory Pedophile(the grand majority are similar), so when she said that, I just dropped and said "wat... mom, you could have told her differently... hell, you should have told her I was if you were going to say that...".

Yeah... my issue is waaayyy out of the tone of the subject, isn't it? : /

[sub]I'll just go now...[/sub]

Wait...I'm confused by this. Are you a pedophile or not?

Spoiler: also this

 

[Canid117]

Buy a bunch of straight nudie mags and leave em strewn about your room.

 

[googleboy]

I am gay. I don't hide the fact, but I don't shout in from the rooftops either. TO me it is merely a characteristic, not a defining feature of who I am. My mother however, usually after a drink or two, insists on telling every person that she is in conversation with, as a way of establishing her bona fides in the 'Alternative and Open' community.

To clarify, I am more embarrassed by the fact that she does this for personal reasons rather than because of any embarrassment stemming from being routinely outed.

To the original author: Have you ever considered just going, "Mom, I like c**k now. That whole experimental lesbian phase was just too much work. I'm back on men." YOu might throw her for enough of a loop to make it all go away. Also, what kind of family friend tells a (i'm presuming) young woman who they think is a lesbian "promise to never marry a girl."???? WTF

 

[zelda2fanboy]

A couple of very subtle comments have led me to believe that my grandma thinks I'm gay. As far as I'm concerned, she can keep thinking that, I guess. You really ought to try dating a guy. You never know, but you might actually be gay. Men are truly gross. I'm never that sure of my own sexuality, really, other than that I have very specific boundaries when it comes to pornography.

Deep down, men really don't have any standards when it comes to appearance, personality, cleanliness... You get the idea. I'm probably generalizing based on my own experiences, but it's WAY easier for a girl to pick up a guy than vice versa. Give it a shot and you might find out they're not all they're cracked up to be (which isn't much to begin with).

 

[Leg End]

My mum had a brief period of telling people I wanted to get a sex change to become a girl.

This was during the short time between her noticing I was pretty feminine, and me telling her I was gay. So she jumps to random conclusions and before I know it, all her friends, their kids, AND THEIR KIDS' FRIENDS all think I'm a woman trapped in a man's body.

Fantastic. Thanks mum...

Hehe... well... I can almost guarantee all of you will be posting LOL WUT pear after this but... yeah.

Well, it was when my mom told her friend that I wasn't a Pedophile.(DON'T REPORT, LEMME EXPLAIN FIRST.)
My mom doesn't want any of her friends to know(somewhat understandable), but it's the way she told her. Her friend overheard me discussing the matter with my friends on Xbox LIVE because she was staying in the apartment next door(with the owner's permission), and the walls are paper thin. She proceeded to ask my mother about it and she responded with something along the lines of "oh no, Samuel isn't one of those sick people, he's not a molester". I was sadface the way she told her because, if you have seen me post before, you notice I am very... adamant, about who/what I am. I am a non-offending, non-predatory Pedophile(the grand majority are similar), so when she said that, I just dropped and said "wat... mom, you could have told her differently... hell, you should have told her I was if you were going to say that...".

Yeah... my issue is waaayyy out of the tone of the subject, isn't it? : /

[sub]I'll just go now...[/sub]

Wait...I'm confused by this. Are you a pedophile or not?

Spoiler: also this

Yes, I am one, but I do not molest children or engage in predatory behavior(most don't).

Also, nice touch with the pear.

 

[PinochetIsMyBro]

Easy solution for OP: Acquire a male. It isn't too hard, if you need pointers I'm sure the 1% or so of the male population on this forum that's socially competent will be happy to help.

She has no right to say anything like that.

Actually, she does and I suggest you get over the fact that people might not see eye to eye with you on everything. Concepts like tolerance and morality are subjective, and usually the more convinced a person is that they're the one on the moral high ground, the more abhorrent their personality. Just something to consider. You also have the right to ignore her, fyi.

 

[BlackWidower]

Wow, I've never heard of a case where a mother was in denial about their child's heterosexuality. This is certainly a new one.

I've never had any problem like that...as far as I can tell.

Here's an idea, just remind your mother you can't be a lesbian because you like cock too much. I have a similar response whenever someone suggests I'm gay...I'm not.

 

[the infected (teamkiers)]

Dude that's pretty bad, I guess it's just they way your Mom would deal with it if it were true, especially if she's religious, I went through the same kinda thing.
So I'm quietly Bi, and I don't like throwing it into a conversation unless it's necessary, but when I said that to my Mum during a chat, it just slipped out. Then she thought it was a good idea to tell my Nana, who's a deeply religious roman Catholic...yeah, didn't go down to well.
every time I walked into Church I could feel people staring at me.

I swear it's a good thing people accept mixed sexualities in religion more open minded these days, because if it carried on, I woulda gone mad

 

[BioHazardMan]

My dad still cant get over my atheism.

 

[Crazy_Dude]

Yes, I am one, but I do not molest children or engage in predatory behavior(most don't).

Also, nice touch with the pear.

This might be a tad Off Topic but just out of curiousity. How do you supress your sexual urges then? Since you are attracted to children but you arent going to act sexually towards them. (The right thing to do!)

 

[DefunctTheory]

SNIP

You really need to stop dancing with the devil on this issue.

 

[Nimcha]

Yes, I am one, but I do not molest children or engage in predatory behavior(most don't).

Also, nice touch with the pear.

This might be a tad Off Topic but just out of curiousity. How do you supress your sexual urges then? Since you are attracted to children but you arent going to act sexually towards them. (The right thing to do!)

Oh boy, here we go again! Check his post history, it's all in there.

 

[ReservoirAngel]

]Yes, I am one, but I do not molest children or engage in predatory behavior(most don't).

Also, nice touch with the pear.

Ah, okay. Sorry I just got majorly confused, so I had to ask.

I think I might be kind of like that too. If you wanna dip into technicalities, apparently I'm a "pedarast". I like teenagers, not children. But I don't go out flirting with and/or molesting them. That's just horrific.

 

[GeneralFungi]

Whether it's homosexuality, or any form of confession,
I have a fear of telling anything I don't want other
people to know to my parents.

They're alright people,
but I never know what they would and wouldn't say to their friends.

 

[Crazy_Dude]

Try the LeBron James approach.
<youtube=gQnOcOUOzHo>
Try to get into a conversation with your mom again. Then try asking questions this way.
What should I do? Should I admit that I am a Lesbian to satisfy your feelings even though I am straight?
Should I keep saying I am straight even though my mother will still keep trying to convince I am a lesbian? What should I do?
Should I move out and abandon my family all together? Even though my Sister is my best friend and my Father is a great guy What should I do?

I am pretty sure that should lead into an intresting conversation.

 

[Plurralbles]

I don't have horrible parents....


Nope. Can't think of anything.