So my mom still thinks I'm gay... (A Follow-Up)

[kaizen2468]

Try dating some men?

 

[mattwesto]

Well my experience is different because I'm a guy but, when I was about 14 years old I had one girlfriend that I never went out with and shortly into the relationship we "broke-up" (oh yeah I was real surprised) after that my parents thought I was gay. I have never dated since then and I'm 21 that being said I learned some people don't want to date and others are just not ready. I can't tell where you stand but I just explained to my parents that I just did not want to date anyone. As far as the friend goes you don't owe her an explanation or any kind of radical rebutal. It is sad we live in a age where people think that "not dating" = "gay".
- Hope that helps you,
matt.

 

[crystalsnow]

Nothing in response to the question posed, but as for your situation, you should punch your mom in the tit (no wait I think that would only make things worse, in that case I'm out of ideas).

 

[flying_free18]

Man that sucks a lot.

I have a crazy mother too, most recently I went home to visit my parents for the weekend, I was watching a hockey game with my dad and the dead space mom commercial came on so we were talking about it when she walked in. She sits down on the couch and goes "Oh god, I hope you're not going to become omni-dimensional and only talk about video games now." In a disgusted tone of voice.
The real kicker is I'm in school for video game design...

 

[Grigori361]

Hahah, I'm totally straight but I look and act super gay as most people identify it, most of the time anyway. I once attended gay pride and it was practically a family tragedy.

So they think you're gay, whohoo, I say enjoy it, screw with them, let them think you're gay.

 

[MAUSZX]

snip

Your suggestion, while reasonable, and founded in logic, goes under the assumption that I get along with my mom.

I'll direct you to another post I made a while back when I was having a bit of a breakdown.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/538.248083-Is-there-something-wrong-with-me#9129641

Now I don't know what to say really, i've never imagine things like that.
I think the best way, is to be strong, and I insist in telling her that u are straight.
In other topics, well being overweight is very common, I don't know how much you are, but I have to be honest and please understand I don't want to be a jerk, but being fat is bad for your health so you should exercise for ur own good. In the love topic, everyone is a little superficial, because that is always the first impression, I love that you are happy as the way u are, but I'm telling you, the first thing that attracted someone is something superficial, for example the eyes and that kind of things after that interest you manage to love other things like being funny and all that things.
If not for your health, or love at least for the self esteem I recommend you do that.

Again I'm trying to be honest, not an ass.

 

[Mechsoap]

i snip you!

Since you sound like mature adult, i dont suppose its to much just to sit down, relax, and have a long talk with your mother? I mean she is human?

Yeah I have tried that, several times in fact. No it doesn't work with her, I could have gone on and on for pages about why my mother is the way she is. At her core she is a good person, which is why most other people view her as a good person...BUT she had such a messed up childhood, I am talking molestation, beatings, rapings, being completely dirt poor, that her core is wrapped in absolute hatred.

She refuses to go to therapy, and it ends right there. You can suggest, you can encourage, you can provide support, but if a person refuses help, you can not force it on them.

but she surely wished that her children would have a merry childhood? and a merry life? Doesn't she see that by doing what she does she is making her children's lives worse, and without meaning? Repeating that cycle, and instead to conceal her agony by agonizing others, or creating deranged visions of others?

 

[Grigori361]

As to the worst thing my parents have ever told anyone about me... well they try not to talk about me really, My existence is something of an embarrassment, which suits my needs. But More to the point I suppose the closest they've come to telling people something embarressing would be constantly offering up not so much qualities, but my most intimate thoughts and feelings to anyone who passes by, my mother went so far as to take my journal, (back when I had one, and was dumb enough to trust my family) and let my extended family have a free for all with it before giving it to teachers, her boyfriend, and a few other random people for good measure.

Ahh Good times. That thing got around!

But yeah, I never really trusted them with anything close to my heart within recent memory, with good reason.

 

[erto101]

My parents doesn't do anything like that, but my mom is trying to.. urge me.. into getting a girlfriend. She recently gave me a HPV vaccine (she's a doctor) and gave me condoms during christmas. Think she's trying to tell me something, i just can't seem to put me finger on it =)

 

[Mechsoap]

Tell her you're straight.
Move out.
?????
Profit.

Oh you just had, to make it clear diden't you?!

 

[Magnalian]

Yesterday my mum told me I need to have more sex with loose women. Seriously.

What do you say to that?

You ask if she knows a few.

 

[Brandchan]

I had kind of a simular situation with my Mother but it never went that far. After I started dating my first boyfriend I was riding in the car with my Mom when she blurts out "Thank God your not a dike." And I was like uhhhhhhhhh, what?! It even took me a while to understand because at that point I had not really heard anyone use the term dike to mean any but levee or dam.

 

[Grigori361]

i snip you!

Since you sound like mature adult, i dont suppose its to much just to sit down, relax, and have a long talk with your mother? I mean she is human?

Yeah I have tried that, several times in fact. No it doesn't work with her, I could have gone on and on for pages about why my mother is the way she is. At her core she is a good person, which is why most other people view her as a good person...BUT she had such a messed up childhood, I am talking molestation, beatings, rapings, being completely dirt poor, that her core is wrapped in absolute hatred.

She refuses to go to therapy, and it ends right there. You can suggest, you can encourage, you can provide support, but if a person refuses help, you can not force it on them.

but she surely wished that her children would have a merry childhood? and a merry life? Doesn't she see that by doing what she does she is making her children's lives worse, and without meaning? Repeating that cycle instead of trying to conceal her agony by agonizing others, or creating deranged visions of others?

Listen mate, you mean well but I think I can relate on a mother to mother level here, read that little piece about one of the many reasons I don't trust her, and then understand that A: that's a drop in a ocean of crap, and B: to this day she doesn't recognize anything she did as inappropriate. Some people just don't get it. her mom sounds like one.

Edit: case an point in case I was unclear, just because someone is a parent doesn't mean they're responsible, open minded, understanding or supportive. No offense but the idea that all parents are is an urban myth, the reality seems to be that someone's mom is a ****, so that's all there is to it.

 

[sheah1]

Well my mum always tells the incredibly embarrassing story of how I got lost to people (the way in which I got lost is the embarrassing part, not the getting lost bit) even when I pointedly walk out of the room because I hate it when she tells that story. I was terrified that day and she uses it all the fucking time.

 

[mireko]

For this plan, you will need:

Two (2) antlers, preferably moose, goat horns acceptable but not preferred
One (1) guitar, electric, ideally a Les Paul Standard, Gibson or Epiphone
One (1) amplifier, may require external power, consult your manual
Some (?) industrial adhesive, epoxy
One (1) circular saw
Fifteen to twenty (15-20) road flares
Ten (10) flannel lumberjack shirts
One (1) mechanical rat
Some soldering experience

Use the glue to fasten the antlers to your head and practice moose calls (goat calls also acceptable). Create a circle of flares outside of your homes, you will need to be able to remotely activate them. Equip the flannel shirts (all 10 of them) and deploy the rat in your home. It will need to be instructed to lead your mother out of the house. Once she has entered the circle, ignite the flares and perform "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen on the electric guitar. The flares will prevent her from escaping, and you will be able to complete the song. When you have finished the song, return to your house and use the saw to detach the antlers from your head. You will have some time before the flares burn out, and you should use this time to destroy the antlers completely to conceal your plot. If she does not return to the house, she may be unconscious. If this occurs, just wait, as she will regain consciousness eventually. When she re-enters the home, declare "THE MOOSE [or goat] SPIRIT HAS LIBERATED ME FROM MY SEXUALITY, PRAISE THE LORD". She will believe you, and will ask no further questions.

Or tell her to mind her own fucking business.

 

[Nimcha]

Why does she think you're gay?

To be fair, I do fit the stereotypical image of a lesbian. I'm involved in the construction trade, I never wear anything feminine, or do my hair or make up, and I've never had a boyfriend.
The only part that's missing is that whole thing about liking girls.

Heeey, how you doi--

snip

I'm actually straight, which just makes this whole situation more bizarre.

God damn it. >

Haha!

I had sort of the opposite happen when I was younger, my grandmother started asking questions about why I never dated any boys because most of my friends were, and my mother just said I was focusing on school (my mom already knew why I didn't date boys). So my grandmother who is a huge gossip spread that around half the village I lived in. Made for a few awkward conversations. Then again, who cares what people think right?

 

[ENKC]

Yesterday my mum told me I need to have more sex with loose women. Seriously.

What do you say to that?

"Fair enough. That's how you had me, right?"

And it sounds like the OP's mother has some form of mental illness. It's not normal to behave that way towards your children. Certainly illness of that sort can't be combated with logic alone.

 

[-Ulven-]

Only madication here is common sense... just don't pay attention to it, find a nice guy and date him, marry whomever you want. Just don't exaggerate to your mom that you are straight... just don't mind, find a guy get together and have a healthy relationship. Don't dfo over dramatic stuff to show how straight you are. Beacuse on people like your mom that will only highten the suspicion.

Just live your life... you are not going to date any men your moms age I hope.

 

[teutonicman]

1) Yes that is a very inappropriate movie on your mom's part.
2) There must be some reason she thinks this.