So you just found out you're God

[Deleted]

I would first get rid of blindness, deafness, mental handicaps, and physical handicaps.Then perform small miracles everywhere and finally taking over the world when I feel like it.

 

[101194]

I'd be a benevolent, sadistic god who would love nothing more than to not have people worship me.

I'd fuck around with the ultra-devout, goody-two-shoes people. Let's see if they keep praying to me when I burn down their house, their money, their families, their church, and all their worldly possessions, leaving them only with the clothes on their back. This will persist until they snap and renounce me and my name. Then I'd give them a semblance of life back, but only if they continue to renounce me. The instant they begin to pray to me, I'd take all that shit away again.

Every person has a breaking point. I'd just like to see it occur.

That my friend, Is fucking brilliant.

 

[Abedeus]

Well obviously. Set a bush on fire, turn a big city into salt, smite some unbelievers, then go to Egypt and harass them for couple of days.

Remove free will. The vast majority of people are too stupid to have it.
Of course my next job would be figuring out why if I am God did I make a planet full of utter jackasses in the first place.

Well, you assume that we have free will in the first place. Any sufficiently advanced system is indistinguishable from magic (free will).

This quote applies ONLY to technology. "Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic".

 

[Jedamethis]

Go back to the beginning of life and do this thing properly.
So yeah, if you ride a dinosaur to work tomorrow and you are clever, faster, and stronger, it was me.

 

[Firmanter]

Well after the initial shock I would probably go to every major religious body and say 'I'm God' and they would say 'prove it' (as being god I already know where this conversation is going) and then I would make them fly, turn them from humans to pigs back into humans just generally display how much kick-ass stuff I can do. Then when they still didn't believe me I'd say 'Oh sod this' and interview everyone on earth individually to see if they deserve to live, then do away with the chaff and keep track of things a bit better this time round.

 

[imnot]

solve world hhunger, start world peace, then force the m to buil me a tower to the moon and sell me China.

 

[SimuLord]

If I'm taking over the role of the Abrahamic God, first thing I do is put a world of hurt on anyone who's acting in MY name. Sarah Palin, Benjamin Netanyahu, and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad alike would all have severe anal bleeding and stigmata to let the rest of the churchies know there's a new God in town and he's PISSED.

If I'm just becoming a god in general and have to build up my worshipper base from scratch? I find the nicest, most morally sound person I can and start showing up in visions. Then if the psychiatrists start pestering him for preaching, I show up and give THEM visions that make them doubt their own sanity so eventually people put two and two together that yes, this guy's been visited by a real god and that real god would rather the religion founded in his name be a kind, caring, decent one that draws followers by example (and a bit of divine intervention when the god in question gets bored.)

Or I go Sheogorath on all humanity like that Daedric quest in Oblivion and make my afterlife as much like the Shivering Isles as I can decently get away with. Then I start messing with Todd Howard's head until he's gripped by a singular obsession to make Elder Scrolls games and DLC until he breathes his last. Someone else (like JE Sawyer) can make Fallout, but Mr. Howard? You're on a mission from God.

 

[ReaperzXIII]

Hello severe abuse of space/time and reality and world domination

 

[NeoGunHero]

Get myself one trillion dollars, but a one billion dollar mansion and a shit load of electronics. I'll also bribe the electric company to not send me any taxes, so I can but that 1500 watt gaming PC I've always wanted. And many, many LCD's.

 

[NeoGunHero]

Force Valve to make Half Life 2 : Episode 3

Win

 

[Snowpact]

SSSSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

people who are dicks

Great, let's have smiting-contests!

Personally, I'd make the larger problems of humanity go away at first. You know, the big issues, global warming, wipe away a few countries who are being asses, that sort of thing. Petty peeves are none of my business, however.

After that, I'd make fossil fuels totally useless for a year. I'd invent nuclear fusion, put it on a Post-It note and drop it off at some scientists desk. ("NuFu510 = 42")

After that intense first half minute, I'd spend most of my time rearranging stellar constellations, mountains and other monuments into vaguely (and hilariously) familiar signs, words, sentences, pictures, three-box comics and "other dimensions as well..."

Something like that.

 

[havass]

One word: Batman.

Oho. This is win.

OT: I would go all Bruce Almighty on life. C'mon, who wouldn't. Then I will answer the question "can God make a boulder so heavy that he himself cannot lift?"
Then just to fuck with everybody's minds, negate the laws of physics and logic.

 

[Bananahs]

Big tits.

 

[Jonluw]

I would make a shitload of 'The melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya' references.

 

[Emilin_Rose]

Mewtwo is real, and a demigod.

 

[DazBurger]

I would teleport to the Vatican and tell everyone I dont exist.

 

[Omikron009]

Build a god damn sex fortress.

 

[Ickorus]

Since im a nice person i'd probably fix all the wrongs in the world, I am god after all surely that's my job.

I would also give myself everything I need to live comfortably and keep my identity secret so I can do my job and not get bothered by worshippers.