The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[Pm0n3y]

Back at the Castle of Highfather...

The heroes all sat down at the round table, while CM got a big stack of folders of paperwork concerning the present threat. He sat down, cracked his knuckles, and took at deep breath.

"Okay...Lets begin." He said, opening one of the many folders.

Five, Very Boring, Hours Later...

CM stood up, using a shovel to dig himself up from under all the paperwork.

"So...Any Questions?" He said.

He looked among the crowd of heroes, all either asleep or dozing off. He sighs disappointingly.

"I have a feeling this is going to be a long night" He says, using a bullhorn to wake everyone up, turning the volume all the way up to Big Red Letters Post.

[HEADING=1]"I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED YOUR NAPS. NOW, COULD WE PLEASE DISCUSS OUR PLANS AGAINST THE AUDITOR?!"[/HEADING]

Once everyone is awake and alert, he attempts to restart the meeting, but a guard busts through the palace doors, battle torn and scarred.

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you at your post?" CM asks the solider, clearly not noticing the soldier's ripped clothes and weak posture.

"I'm sorry sir, but there's a problem near the North Shard..." The solider says before fainting.

"Shit. Okay everyone, lets get to the emergency passageway! We have no time to lose!

He leads the heroes to the passageway, which is really just a portal leading to the shard. the heroes step through, wondering who, or what they may encounter...

Spoiler: No Major Villains

will be seen here, just something that's worth a challenge and some action

 

[Ramthundar]

"Great, here for barely anytime here in the "perfect" world and it's already going to hell." Ram muttered. The group entered the emergency tunnels, CM quickly summoning one of the Shuttles that travel them. The heroes jumped into one and sped North.

"So, how exactly are we in trouble when everyone in this world is good?" Ram asked.
"Well, not everyone..." CM said with a lowered voice, avoiding Ram's eyes.
"What?!"
"What you wanted me to do!? Not everyone on Earth was a goody-goo hero of Destiny! A lot of them were just average shmucks. And I wasn't going to send them with the villains, so their just...here."

As the shuttle neared the North Shard, a deep bellow could be heard, echoing across the tunnel walls.
"D'awww shit, I think I know what's going on" Ram cursed, launching himself out of the shuttle as soon as it neared the exit. Rushing ahead, he came upon a large hallway, a sign pointing the way to the shard. In the middle of it stood a large creature, half-bull and half-man, arms and legs like tree-trunks and a height of nearly 10 feet.
"Taurus will destroy Evil Shard!" it roared, a bovine moo mixing in with a low, rough human voice.
"Knew it!" Ram exclaimed, turning to the rest of the group he said "this it Taurus, that bull guy that from the Greek myth of the Maze. Technically, he's not evil, just a neutral mythical creature."
Ram turned to look back at the still bellowing creature, now currently ripping apart a guard.
"But he's lower mythical creature, which means he's tuned to the Other Side on his original world, unlike me, where I'm always connected to Other Side of all realities."
"Cause you are a servant of a god?" Samii asked, eyes wide with awe.
"No, because I have the T-Moblie network."

The giant creature turned at the sound of voices.
"TAURUS WILL DESTROY ALL EVIL!"

CM nervously glanced at Ram. "Um, he talking about us?"
"Yeah, unfortunately, because he's disconnected to the previous reality's Other Side, he's going nuts."
Ram turned to the bull-man and smiled. "Hey there big guy, remember me? I took you out to that bar that one time, we had a good time, met some nice girls. You remember me, right?"
The creature turned it's blood shot eyes on Ram.
"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SLEPT WITH MY GIRL!!"
"....damn it, I really need to start remembering things like that..."

 

[Ramthundar]

UFO SNIP

Spoiler: Reserve

Reserve, to keep a spot to set up a situation without worry of someone ninja'ing you.
Our word for today!

 

[Ramthundar]

The two animals eyed each other, the rest of the group siddling away.
"You going to face like some man...or like an ANIMAL?!" Ram demanded.
Taurus snorted, throwing aside his Warhammer. He then crouched, his hooves pawing the ground.

Ram lowered his head, horns matching Taurus' lowered head.
"CHARGE!!!"
The two creatures pounded across the floor, picking up inhuman speeds as they sped towards each other.
When their horns met,a massive shockwave was created, exploding several windows and a few skulls.
"...damn, thought that would get you. CHARGE!"
The two horned contenders met again, with the same results. They kept going at it, each hoping the other would fall.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Ragnorak the Pirate opened fire on our evil group scattering them all around.

"Running won't save you scurvy dogs."Said Rag while beginning the twenty minute reload of his pistol.

Maddawg and Sho began climbing up to surrond Rag while Splazor and Master Kitty began shooting at him from afar. Unfortunatly despite not being Ninja Rag was still able to dodge the lasers and bullets.

By the time Sho and Maddawg had reached him the monkey pirate had finished reloading his pistol.

"You Landlubbers will never take Ol Rag Beard alive!" he said Firing at Maddawg who blocked it with his staff.

"Your going down monkey man! SONIC BOOM!" Said Sho who let out a large blast of Sonic energy.

Maddawg charged at Rag hoping to trap him between the Chainsaw and the Blast.

Rag saw this coming and quickly jumped over the Locust who was hit with Sho's attack.

Maddawg was blasted back and fell off the ledge. "SHOOOOO YOU MORONNNNNNNNNNN *Thud*"

Rag had grabbed on to a rope and managed to swing back to his own private ship.

"SET SAIL NOW FIRST MATE XANDUS!"

"SIR I'M AFRIAD THE SHIP IS UNABLE TO SAIL!"

"WHAT!? GIVE ME A STATUS REPORT!"

"WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A STREET IN NEW JERSEY!"

"How the fuck did we get here anyways?"

"Strang plot twists sir!"

 

[Ramthundar]

Whilst CM talked a bunch of armor, in a Other Side office far away...
"Sir, looks like agent Ramthundar is really pulling in our energy at enourmes rates! He must be in great trouble!" said one of the assistants to Thor.

Naaah, I'm sure ol' Rammy boy is just fine. Guy's a brilliant strategist, he'll run circles around anyone that goes against him. Now send in my Nymph, I have a need..."

Back at the battle...
"WHHHHEEEEE! LOOK AT ALL DA PWETTY STARS!" Ram cried, after his 12th hit.

 

[world_of_dragons]

Spoiler: Ignore this post

Got ninja'd

 

[lwm3398]

Spoiler

Screw that, I'ma make an EPIC FUCKING APOCALYPSE BATTLE.

Alucard took out his guns and shot both Laura and Jacob. They picked the bullets out of the air and threw them at Alucard. He flipped up and turned into hundreds of bats, all of which started biting Frohman for shits and giggles. Once they gathered into Alucard, he received a neat slice in half from Xandus. The blood pooled, then a nine-eyed dog jumped out.

"Dog food..."

Came Alucard's voice, not from particularly anywhere. The big-ass black dog sunk it's huge teeth through Xandus' armor. Jacob and Laura ran away as fast as they could, as they had a plan. Death decided to play some solo Rock Band, splitting multiple arms from his body for the instruments. He played a radio near the microphone.

"Rabid little mutt! Off me!" Xandus screamed. He severed it's head and and the body rained down as blood. As the head grew smaller, a body grew from it's neck. It was now the size of a poodle. Xandus picked up a can of whipped cream and gave the dog an afro.

"Heh heh. Poodle."

"More like... PUDDLE." said Alucard. Xandus looked around.

"Hello? Completely arbitrary character from some pretty obscure manga that somehow has internet fame that hates me? Where are you?"

"Behind you."

Xandus turned around to face Alucard's gun barrel.

"Die." The trigger was pulled, but, somehow, Xandus' sword attracted the bullet.

"You do the same." Xandus said, slashing Alucard in the stomach. Bats flew from the gash, and went into the game room. They bit the X-Box's wire, ending Death's game right in the middle of a 1000 note streak in a 10 minute song with 1 second left.

"What... The... One.. m... m... more... GAAAAH!" He jumped up and down and took his scythe. He sliced the air, making a huge gash in existence. A dragon flew from it. The bats tried to fend it off, but were ultimately eaten.

"Face the wrath of my EPIC MOUNT!!! NO ONE STOPS MY PERFECT 10 MINUTE GAAAAAAME!!!!!"

Now, let me explain something to you. During this battle, in the Evil Dimension, someone made a joke about "Soviet Russia". Since dimensional time is screwy, it took five hours for these words to reach the Good Dimension and summon a Soviet Copter. Jacob and Laura promptly hopped into these, driving back to where they had been running away. It took them an hour to get there, taking up the time of Alucard's nap, his universal travels, and the five hour battle. Thus, time was fixed.

So, some bats fought a dude with a big ass sword, vampire blood was found to be highly explosive, and it was found that Dark Castle floors against big swords with eyes makes sparks which explode the blood. Some helicopters came, a dragon flew, resulting in this:


A massive explosion comes from the Castle, and Alucard and Xandus come flying out. Xandus flies towards Alucard and tries to slice him in half, but Alucard dodges his attack and shoots Xandus in the chest. Alucard is surrounded by Laura and Jacob, who are both in Soviet Helicopters. Death, who riding on the back of a dragon, joins Xandus.

"Um...what the hell happened?" asked Alucard

"Oh, I didn't have enough time to make a huge epic battle, so I just fast forwarded to the last two minutes of our fight. You can take the plot from here." said Xandus, completely obliterating the fourth wall

"Oh, okay." said Alucard. "Well, you were said to be the biggest threat here. I thought you destroyed my dimension, meaning you killed my master, Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing. And, plus, that stupid fucking apocalypse interrupted my fight with Walter. So I decided to finish this "Fight of the badasses" with you. So, partners?"

"Fine." Said Xandus.

 

[lwm3398]

"FORWARD MEN!" yelled Xandus "LET US DESTROY THIS CITY!!!"

"Wait. We can charge all we want, after I get some... Mods... for that sword."

"Mods? As in bigger clips and silencers?"

"No. Like some artifacts under your castle. You see, this castle of yours is the same one I fought an African vampire in years ago. Somehow, with my transportation here, shit went down where you made that castle. Under it, deep beneath, in the center of this planet, is something that the vampire wanted. You want it as well. It's a demonic power. One connected to that sword. When they unite... Absolute and total inter-dimensional evil god-hood."

"We need to find this thing." said Xandus.

Oh, you mean my brother, Sol? Sol Ege? He's missing all of my third letters. God, what a jackass.

"Donkey or not, God-Hood over every dimension is pretty freaking awesome. I say we find this thing. Lead the way, Blood Sucker."

"Well... It isn't that simple. You don't just go about finding this thing on one planet, because, with it's extreme power, it was scattered every where. 8 pieces in all throughout the four dimensions."

"Four? There's good, evil, and the one we all came from. What four?"

"Hell. One is hidden in the pits of Hell, which is a dimension in itself."

"Well, let's get going. I wanna be a God."

Spoiler

This good for you, Xandus? Don't do anything with it, I have to go, but I'll be back in the morning.