The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[Sam G]

"Well, I guess I should post something..." Sam G said, flipping open the ole' MacBook and starting to type.

"I will kill a soldier!" Death cried, kicking a soldier in the nose with such force he flew to the moon.
"I too will kill a soldier!" Livingness declared, leaping into the air and kicking another soldier with both feet.
"Wow, Sam must be feeling pretty uninspired right now..." Death said to Livingness.
"Hey, I know what'll cheer him up!" Livingness said excitedly.
"For the last time, Livingness, strippers can't cross the fourth wall..." Death replied.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Suddenly, Xandus fell on top of Polonsky, causing Polonksy to explode in a radial mess of blood, gore, and bones.

"Holy shit! That freak just killed Polonsky!" Yelled the Seargent.

"No!!! He was just 18 and had everything to live for! The kid never even had chance to drink boozes!" Yelled a random Blackwatch soldier.

Suddenly Xandus arose, two gaping wounds from his arm and chest clearly visible.

"Lets kill it and mangle up the body afterwards!" Yelled the Sergeant, pulling out his .44 magnum and aiming it towards Xandu's head.

"If you fire those weapons at me, you'll all be dead before you've had a chance to reload." Said Xandus.

"Fuck you wierdo!" Yelled the Sergeant, signaling his men to take fire.

What happended next was nothing less then a show of Xandu's damage resistance and speed. The men fired a volley of lead at him, from every concievable direction.

Pistols, shotguns, assault rifles,sniper rifles, magnums. It mattered not what weapon they had, nor how many, for Xandus withstood it, and as soon as their clips emptied, Xandus went to work.

"My turn."

He pulled out his soul edge, and with nimble quickness, slashed those around him in a frenzy of blood.

Within 3 seconds, all were dead.

"Nothing like a good work out to keep the ol' bones healthy." Said Xandus, leaping high into the air, back towards the colesuem one of the Shadow demons knocked him down from.

Spoiler: Out of Curiousity

How do you make text appear big and colored like how Phil does whenever he does a super awesome mega attack?

Spoiler: And this is why I accuse you of God-Modding somtimes.

We can't have an rp where the conflicts are introduced in one post and then solved in the very next. I was planning on using those guys for a Prototype/Infamous story and in one post you killed all of them.What happened to respecting other posters? So allow me to point out a few things that should be changed.

For one, Polonsky was on the other side of the city. If he was nearby the Sarge wouldn't have even needed to use the radio. He would have just yelled to him!

Two,Blackwatch soliders are mercanries. I highly doubt that they would let an 18 year old join there ranks
and
Three,You didn't even bother to explain how he killed them. You just said "and in three seconds they were all dead." So what you mean to tell me that Xandus is super fast and yet he is still losing? If he was that fast then he should be able to easily outrun whatever he is fighting.

Also, why don't you just qoute Phil and see for yourself? There. I got that off my chest now off to finish my report!

 

[Pm0n3y]

Spoiler: Xandus

I LOL'd at that.

"Um, anyone else get the feeling the we're outnumbered?" Phil said, voice quivering in fear.

"O' gee, ya think?" Rag said, smacking Phil in the back of the head for pointing out the obvious.

 

[Ramthundar]

"AHHH MY BROKEN LEG AHHHHHDAMN YOU ALL AHHH oh wait, I got healing powers, doy!" Ram said, before curing his leg and running after the group.

"Christ, it's always the same with these wana-bees. They all want to be the God of Chaos, but there's only one true Ko-AH!"
Ram blinked a few times, finding his view turned unexpectedly towards the sky. Picking himself up, he saw that he had crashed and bounced off a little cart with the the word's "Soak's Fresh Milk!" painted on it. Soak himself was sitting on it, watching the various gods of chaos.

"SOAK! Hey! How you doing?!" Ram cried with forceful cheerfulness, slowly backing away.
"What brings you about this parts?"

The man gave a casual glance towards Ram. "Oh, just delivering my goods as always. Never know where milk is needed. Plus, I like to watch the rookies go at it, brings back...memories." he said, his eyes turning black when he spoke the last words.

"Well, glad to see you still in the business and all, and good to see you. But I gotta get the hell away from you, want to live a full life and all that so...bye!" Ram said, quickly dashing away.

"Uh, Ram. Who was that?" Phil said before Ram grabbed him and violently started pushing him away.
"He's going to be our doom if we don't get going! He's got a mean temper, and we don't want to be around here once one of those hot-shot gods try to pick a fight with him..."

Spoiler: OCC

HEY! Sorry I haven't been posting for a while, school and musical has been keeping me busy. But I make up with a Discworld Reference! YAYsy!

 

[ajb924]

Suddenly the fleet of the Great Lord Zoltarg came down to earth as told in the bible of scientology to reign death upon all humans and...
"MK! Wake up! Something might actually be happening!" Sho said
MK began to wake up out of his crazy scientology catnip enduced dream and replied with "DAMMIT GRIMM! Why'd you wake me up!?"
"But I.... Fuck it, I'll do it myself." Grimm said taking MK's gun and shooting himself 12 times in the gut before giving it back. "Happy now?"
"YES! Now don't let it happen again." MK said

 

[Sam G]

Death and Livingness, the incompetent fighters they are, were standing on a rock a fair distance away.
"Hey, does that "4 Gods of Chaos" this seem at all familiar to you?" Death asked.
"In what sense?" Livingness asked back.
"Well, you remember that Carmine guy-"
All of a sudden, a gatemay to Hell opened and Shinigami, Lich, Hades and the Grim Reaper all stepped out, battling one another with their trademark weapons.
"Oh yeah, now it's all coming back to me..." Livingness replied.

 

[ajb924]

"Hold the line!" Grimm shouted
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GOD DAMN LINE!?" Sho said, pissed at hearing this over and over
"Well, it's a line... AND YOU FUCKING HOLD IT!" MAddawg said
"How is holding a line helping us!?" Sho asked again
"BECAUSE SOMETHING WITH ALIENS AND CHAOS GODS! DON'T QUESTION IT!" Commie Buster said
"FINE! I'll hold the fucking line..." Sho said and reluctantly grabbed the line.

 

[Ramthundar]

After Xandus had teleported away, a massive black-armored helicopter landed near the dead body of Dark. Several troops exited, wearing strange gray armor and odd assault-rifles, both weapon and armor glowing with a faint glow. They all aimed their weapons at the fallen creature.

"Relax you fucking pussies, the thing is dead. Get it bagged and ready for transport ASAP."
The owner of the voice headed out of the helicopter last, smoking a large cigar as he enjoyed the sight of the dead dragon.

One of the soldiers nervously glanced back and forth between the man and the dragon before saluting. "I'm sorry, Major Rutnick, but we have strict orders. We need to get some samples of the creature, fully analyze the samples, then see if it matches the...uh..the samples from the other...subjects..." he stated, though he quickly faltered under the major's glare.

After standing there in an uncomfortalbe silence, Major Rutnick took his cigar out and gave the now quivering soldier a big smile.
"Well, congratulations, soldier. You've just wasted 5 seconds of my life by having me not give a shit."
He then walked over to the slain beast, taking out his own weapon: a large, 12 gage shot gun, though this one had a much more apparent gray aura.

Laying the muzzle of the gun right inbetween the dragon's eyes and pulled the trigger.

Instead of a loud shot, however, there was only a small pop, as though air was being sucked into a brand new, empty spot. And instead of a bloody mess, the parts of the dragon's head seemed to simply disappear.
"There, dead, strange, and just what we are looking for." the Major stated, calling over the team with the lift equipment. "Now let's get this thing back to the lab, the Professor is eager to test his new machine..."


Meanwhile, where-ever Ram and Co. are...

"OH THOR! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! NO! I'M TO YOUNG TO DIE! TAKE THAT BASTARD ORGAZMO INSTEAD! PLEASE DON'T LET ME-hold up, getting a call." Ram said, plucking out his vibrating horn and holding it up to his ear.
"Y'ello, Ramthundar, Servant of the Thunder Lord Thor, Leader of Heroes, Drinker Extraordinaire, how can I help you? THOR! Hey, how you doing? Oh yeah, I can talk, just cowering above some battling Gods of Chaos....yeah, same guys, they just don't quit do they?...wait, what?....what do you mean, mythical and fictional creatures are disappearing?....a strange military group?....strange and torturing Experiments?....THE VERY FABRIC OF REALITY BEING PULLED?....horrible rash on your nether regions? We'll get right on it!...What? No, not your nether regions, the military group...No, I mean we'll investigate, we'll try to stop the-I don't know what to do about the rash, throw some powder on it or something!...well, Vaseline might work, but the chemicals could react weird with your-WILL YOU STOP! We need to get on this military thing, okay? Ask Hera about the rash, she's good with those...SIR, I AM NOT CALLING YOUR WIFE A WHORE! We all know you're the whore of the relationship...did I say that out loud?....yes sire, a century of stable duties, I'll get right on it at my next incarnation...Love you to, bye."

 

[Hollow Grimm]

Spoiler: Holy shit o.o!

I mean, Damn guys.. You went far! So.. Um.. What is the summary?