The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[maddawg IAJI]

*Sigh*"Alright kid I got another quest for ya. I want you to fight my buddy over here with your fists only." said Jack.

"Rawr."

"Okay no problem I once beat a Behomoth without using a fatman."


"Well that glad that's done. Now let's get goi-" Jack tripped over the corpse of what appeared to be a dead taco bell employee.

"What the. Who left all these dead guys here!"

 

[The_Chief]

But jack has been hit harder then that and was prepared. he took the hit and barely moved, by bit into him and shot him with a laz0r. then he found a comedically large hammer and hit the ceiftain in the head and said..."hammer time" and as he hit them, the ground turned into a wack-a-mole like board thing. and then giant land sharks came in and out of the holes.

Spoiler

true story. he was hit at 40 miles an hour by an suv.

 

[Ramthundar]

"Well, that was certainly a fun fight [sub]though I could of lived without the comments[/sub] and all, but tis now time to get back to the quest of the Fork of Truth!"

"...It's the Legendary Sword of Novgorod." Xandus said.

"Sword, fork, mace, who cares! It's all over-compensating phallic images." Ram grumbled, heading deeper into the terrible tunnels.

"TUNNEL SNAKES RULE!"

Ram glanced around, trying to locate where the sound was coming from.

"Who's there?" he demanded.
"THE TUNNEL SNAKES! THE BIGGEST, MOST BADASS GANG EVAH!"
"Sorry, but that tittle has been taken by the Beatles, thank yah." Ram said, spotting a strange young man with a horrible Elvis-like hair.

"TUNNEL SNAKES FOR EVAH!!!!" the man screamed in capitals, racing deeper into the tunnels.
"Well, that looks like it might be of interest." Ram commented, running after him.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Jack popped another pill into his mouth and was instantly healed,despite the Multiple broken ribs,Broken Neck and the twisted leg.

"Alright I'm good."

"Wow now that is the pinnacle of badass." Said Ram. " Well we should proably introduce ourselves."

"Save it. I got a pretty good Idea of who you guys are for some reason. Like some unknown fore is telling me who you are to avoid a crappy akward intorduction."

MEANWHILE!

"Lord Draxis (I've been gone so long I forgot how to spell his name XD) we belive that we have figured out who the Humans are worshipping!" Said the newly hired Asari Scientists.

"And who are they?"

"Well sir they appear to be 4 normal looking humans all wearing suits and they are call the Bea-tles."

"Interesting. Have you found any proof of this?"

"Yes my lord. They have many idols of them ranging from simple washcloths with there faces on them to all out recordings of there voices. We even have speculation to belive that they contacted them with this device known as Ro-kk Bend."

"Well let's see if we can contact these dietys then."

30 minutes later.

"Oh come on!" Said Draxis.

"Hey your the one not matching the notes." Said the Older Asari.

"Why do I have to be the drummer? He's always in the back. Like no one even cares about him!" said the third member.

"That's it. I am never making music with you guys again!"

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Suddenly, a man fell from the sky in front of the heroes, falling on Grimm.

"GAH! MY SPINE!" yelled Grimm

The man got up off of Grimm, showing his face to the heroes.

"Hey guys!" said the man "Did you miss me?"

"Who the hell are you?" asked Jack

"Me?" said the man "I'm Gordon Frohman!"

Jack was silent.

"Don't you mean..."

"No, I don't. It's Frohman."

"Frohman?! How are you alive?" said Phillip "We saw you get shot!"

"I had Buddha mode on." said Frohman

"Oh. That makes sense." said Phil

Billy Mays walked past the heroes towards Frohman.

"I don't think we've introduced ourselves." said Billy "Hi, I'm Billy Mays, here with..."

"OH MY GOD!!! BILLY MAYS HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE, AND HAS COME TO EAT OUR BRAINS!!!" yelled Frohman

Frohman grabbed his trusty shovel and began beating Billy Mays with it.

"DIE ZOMBIE SCUM!!! DIE, DIE, DIE!!!"

Frohman continued hitting Billy Mays until his head split in half. Frohman stabbed the shovel into Billy's chest and turned to the heroes.

"So, what quest are we on now?" asked Frohman

Spoiler: Really?

Can we please stop with the Billy Mayes thing? I mean one mpre time and you'll have brought him back almost as many times as Lincoln. That's not even counting the other 30 times Lazer brought him in.

 

[Ramthundar]

"My, thank goodness for that sign, otherwise we have spent forever trying to find this pl-
EXPLOSIONS, FIRE, SPECIAL EFFECTS, CGI!!!!!

"GAHH! THE HORRIBLENESS! DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY!"

 

[Pm0n3y]

Our heroes walked through this terrible hall, filled to brim with horrible acting, bad storylines, plotholes, and Uwe Boll.

The hall was almost too painful for most of the heroes to bare, one of which was Grimm who instantly fell to the ground, eyes and ears bleeding while simultaneously having seizures.

"OHMIGAWD, WHEN WILL IT END?!!?!?" he yelled manically, and right before he started ripping out his hair and laughing.

"Dear god he's going insane!" Cried Ram

"Shock 'im Ram! Or we'll never get out of here!" said Phil covering his eyes and ears

Ram sent 100 volts up Grimm's spine, knocking him out. Phil then picked him up and the heroes proceeded through the hell tunnel.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Suddenly the heroes got a very skinny rock bridge and on the other side stood Gandalf the Gray.

"Hey Gandalf! Long time no see!" Said Ram walking onto the bridge.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Said Gandalf. Hitting the rock with his staff and breaking it.

"NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" said all the members of the group falling down into the hole.

10 hours later

"Hang on guys I think he's waking up." Said a Rag

"No Samii. Please don't hit me with the milk bucket." said Ram talking in his sleep.

"HEY WAKE UP!" Said LazorDog firing his lazer at Ram.

"AHHHH!" Said Ram running around in circles with his tail on fire.

"Well glad your awake. Maybe now you can help us get out of here." Said Grimm.

Ram looked around the room. It was completly white with a big red button in the middle,a box in the corner, and a closed door at the end of the hallway.

"Hello weclome to the Aptecure Science testing center. I am Glados and I will be monitoring your progress. You are to complete 19 levels and then will be rewarded with cake."

"I WANT CAKE! LET'S HURRY UP AND SOLVE THIS THEN!" Said Lazor Dog.

12 hours later.

"Okay I think I figured it out." Said Doomsday. He walked over to the door,punched it and watch it fall to pieces.

"AWSOME NOW LET'S-"

"I see you!" *3 red dots shine through the room at Doomsday.*

 

[maddawg IAJI]

The turret fired off several hundred rounds of ammo before realising that they simply bounced of doomsdays skin, or shattered to pieces upon impact.

"Damn, we need more turrets." Said the turret, calling for back-up.

Spoiler: That's why I was rather upset about your character choice.

There is nothing short of Superman that could even offer him a challenge. Your Logican without destroying everything

 

[Pm0n3y]

The turret guns surrounded the heroes ready to shoot.

"Scatter!" Ram yelled, and everyone leaped in different directions.

All of a sudden the sentry guns decided that Phil would be the first to go, and they all aimed at him.

"Aw, the hell wit dat!" said Phil after reading the narration, and took out his infinity staff.

the turret guns fired at him, but he was able to block the rounds, but only barely.

"Time to finish this!" he yelled

Silver drills started growing out of his arms in a rapid fashion, in which they then merge into his infinity staff, making one, humongous drill. Oh, and loud, obnoxious J-Pop is playing over the loud speaker.

"GIGA... DRILL... BREAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" Phil screams at the top of his lungs and flies at top speed towards the turret guns. they fire at him, but the enormous spinning drill provides alot of cover.

he collides into the turret guns, exploding them all, while make a massive hole in the ground, in which our heroes fall into.

Spoiler: Hey

someone had to do it, right? TTGL FTW!

 

[Ramthundar]

"You mean the sword we just found out about several posts ago, the sword that one of our greatest and most terrifying enemy wants to get it's hand on, the same sword we are now risking our lives to get?" Ram demanded.

"Uhh...yes?"

"Oh, of course we are!" Ram cheerfully said, walking closer to the hooded man.
"HALT!" he shouted, holding his hand up. As it raised, so did several pillars of flames around him.
"To get the sword you seek, you must pay...You must Pay Me Your *SCREECH* GAHH What the fuck?!?"
"By Thor, yeah, why the hell did you just screech like that Samii?"
"Don't you see?!? This man is the devil, and he's demanding we give him our Souls!"
"What? No, oh god no! You know how hard it is to cash those things in? And you get so much as one homicide on it BAM, it's in tatters."

"Oh...." Samii said with a bit of disappointment. "Well...then that must mean we must pay in Blood!"

"Do I look like a vampire to you? Honestly, what would I do with blood from several species, hmmm? Open my own blood bank? HAH! The interest for those are absolutely horrid."

"Oh...well, you are planning on doing something bad to use, aren't you?"

"Actually, no. Didn't you see the sincerity in my face hidden beneath a brooding hood? I thought the 50 ft towering pillars of Hell Flame would show you my warm and friendly intent."

Ram jumped in front of Samii, head held high. "Hey!" he shouted, "No one talks demeaningly and sarcastically to my girl! What do you want, Mysterious Figure?"

 

[maddawg IAJI]

"I simply need you to get somthing for me." said the man.

"Oh well that sounds pretty simple. What do you want." Said Ram.

"I need a special fromula that was worked on by a great scientist before the war. This formula was used to create a powerful beast. If the aliens were to get there hands on this power they would be unstoppable and I hae an employer who would love to get there hands on it."

"Well can you tell us the city?"Said Doomsday

"Of course. You might even remeber it. The city I'm talking about is Nexus!"

BUM BUM BUM!

"Was that suppose to be a dramatic moment?" Said Jack.

"Why yes it was. No to make sure that you return I'm gonna need collateral." Said the man. With that he took out his hand and with a strange looking gun. He pulled the trigger and with it a ray hit Doomsday in the chest stealing his stregnth.

"When you come back you can have your powers back. Until then there going to stay with me."

 

[Pm0n3y]

And so, our heroes started their trek towards the city of Nexus, keeping themselves armed for what might ever pop out at them.

"Wait a sec, how are we gonna get to Nexus? does anyone have directions?" Grimm piped up.

All of sudden a shadowy, hooded figure rose behind our heroes, unnoticed.

"Perhaps i may have the directions you seek." the figure said, taking everyone by surprise.

"Who are you? Phil asked

"I am but a simple Creator, traveling between the heavens and hell, and it sounds you wary travelers can use some help.

The Creator pulls out a map leading straight to Nexus.

"But before i can give you me the map, i want all of you to do something for me-

Ram shocks the guy before he can finish his sentence.

"No! No more side quests!" Ram shouts

Ram turns around and stomps off angrily, the gaggle of heroes, aren't too far behind.

"Does this mean that we're lost?" Phil asks.