The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[Isaac The Grape]

Isaac was leading the charge through the "temple that is totally not The Temple Of DOOM" when, everyone (save himself, Curly, and Quote) vanished.

"Wha...Oh shit." cursed Isaac. "Not again. Fuckin' lag."

"Isaac" said Curly, "this happens way too much. Can we please get a better Internet connection."

Isaac let out an exasperated sigh. "We have a good connection; there is nothing wrong with the phone line. The problem is the ISP."

"Yes, that's his parents." Curly said to Quote.

"Yes it is." Said Isaac to the readers. "I am speculative author avatar. We share many of the same experiences but live two separate lives."

I am a universe trotting mercenary, treasure hunter, getaway driver, and thief. While He is a teenager living with his parents; who give him inconsistent access to the Internet."

"It's true" I said, "some days I get hours and some days I go without."

"OH THE AGONY." Howled Isaac.

"Oh Kratos it's so awful."

"FEEL HIS PAIN."

"Oww."

"LISTEN TO HIS ANGST"

"Woe is me for I am a wealthy westerner who does not get on the Internet as much as he wants. Now catch up to the rest of the group and beat the shit out of something!"

"Understood mate." said Isaac.

Isaac pressed the tilde key on the keyboard of the forth-wall. The AA console appeared. Isaac entered the following.

sv_cheats 1

noclip

Isaac, Curly, and Quote then ran straight as the crow flies to the next plot point, finding themselves standing inside Moxxi's underdrome.

"Fuck, I've never played Borderlands. I could blow through this with some OP weapons, but I respect, nay; support, Roamin11's wishes for a return to the hyperbolic chaos that led me to this RP in the first place. I also owe The Shrike a good fight."

And so Isaac placed himself and the robots in a Zero-Tau pod for 18 hours.

Spoiler: OOC

Sorry about the irregular posts. I'm still interested in the RP.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Meiling, not wanting to bother with flight, kicked off the ground and leaped high into the air, as the bullets came. She landed a bit way from her original point and started making a dead sprint for a certain alley nearby. She didn't really have much time to answer Deadpool's question, so she quickly looked at him as she ran by him. "YEAH! GO NUTS!" She said. She turned the corner into the alley and looked to her left and right. She found the cleanest spot she could and set Mammon down on it. "We don't need you getting shot~" She patted his head and, before he could object to the obvious stupidity of leaving someone who was, pretty much, and infant in an alley of a large city, Meiling had already taken off at full speed, a trail of rainbow dust behind her. She burst from the alley, charging at a Speed only humans of great athleticism, that have been forced to the absolute limit, could run. "C'mon, suckers! You can't take us all!" She said, as she ran towards a crowd of them, and quickly flipped onto her hands, where she executed a Hurricane Spin, like Chun-Li from Street Fighters.

Spoiler: OOC

I have just realized the similarities between Meiling and Chun-Li. Wow. A lot of months, and I only just now notice it. .. Or maybe more like Cammy... No, Chun-Li and Meiling have the same kinds of clothes. Probably closer to her.

Spoiler: OOC

Spoiler: OOC

Yeah, definately Chun-Li.

Lol, ZUN.

 

[Isaac The Grape]

ignore

 

[Orinon]

Mammon didn't really feel like staying in the alley, somehow he actually kind of liked the Shrike and Meiling, He was pretty sure that Mad Moxie was nearby, and He had been waiting to use this trick.
he took out a piece of paper from the roll at his belt hidden under his poncho. He then sneezed on the paper, the mucus was glowed a light blue, it had formed a perfect map to Mad Moxie.
several minutes later
"WELL DONE FIGHTERS MOST WOULD BE DEAD Y NOW BUT WE'RE ONLY GETTING STARTED
SECOND WA- who the hell are you and what are you doing up here."
the heroes looked at each other, suddenly the Moxie platform came up on a screen it showed Mammon standing in front of mad Moxie, a map with glowing blue....stuff was in his hand.
"I am Varia Officer Mammon, and on behalf of the heroes I would ask you to stop slowing our progress to save the world, I have a deposit box in Vegas and it's going to get flattened."
"Well I congratulate you for getting up here but," Moxie pulled out a custom hot red revolver
"Children should be seen not heard."
she then shot mammon directly in the head, the infant fell down.
"Mammon, I told yopu to stay put." cried meiling, he was so cute, and she killed him.
"What was he thinking?" questioned the shrike "It would have been obvious Moxie would have a gun."
Suddenly mammon Got back up, there was a hole in his hood where the bullet hit, he removed it and showed it to everyone, the camera zommed in so the heroes could see the 44. Magnum round had Crumpled like a paper cup.
"You shot me with this, this bullets so weak, it's made of Lead. did you really think that would kill me?"
"Well I kinda hoped." Moxie mumbled
Mammon began to float, Fantasma had formed the halo
"I am One of the Arcobaleno, they are the strongest infants in the world.
I am the greatest illusionist on earth
I am the Mist Arcobaleno
Viper"
with that Mammon bound Mad Moxie with the tentacles that shot out of his hood.
"Ow damn it that infant is tough."
Viper and Moxie were going to have fun in Vipers illusionary hell.
[spoiler/] Kinda God moddy with the bullet but this happens with the Arcobaleno, they're extremely hard to kill. also I was probably screwing up Mad Moxie but I don't play borderlands [/spoiler]

 

[Roamin11]

"Mammon! I don't think you should kill Mad Moxxi!" Said the Shrike from down below "If she dies all the villians, bad guys, and evil bosses she has will be set free to destroy the world or at least they all will take a turns paddling our asses into dust"

Spoiler: @Orinon

KInda god moddy? NO VERY GOD MODDY! Unless you want Mammon to end up like Ryan (And god Help me I will do it) you put Mad Moxxi down. Orion don't you understand? YOU even think it's god Moddy so why the fuck did you do it?

Spoiler: EditOOC

Now, firstly SHAME ON YOU ALL! For not playing borderlands, the not buying the Mad Moxxi DLC is understandable but Borderlands is a great game, although needs work on the level scaling in playthrough 2.5,

Now to explain Mad Moxxi's Underdrome RIOT!! The Rules are simple and as the Great Sir Schmoopy of Awesometon said: Don't die. And for those who die don't suck! Cuz when you die in Mad Moxxi's underdrome you are sent to the penlty box, where you can still send range attacks from but cannot escape till the wave is over. There are 5 Rounds which are composed of 5 waves, the waves go in the order of: Starter wave (a giant orgy of range and close range attackers), gun wave ( Gun totting baddies galore), Horde wave "The horde wave is coming to eat cha OM NOM NOM" which is all close range baddies but there are a lot of them, and four wave is "Could it be?" The badass wave, all the tough and hard to kill assholes come creeping out in this wave and plan to rip your spine out, FINAL WAVE THE BOSS WAVE some boss (And I mean any boss or big baddy you guys can come up with) apears on stage given a small intro by Mad Moxxi then the fight is on after that the round is over.

Do I intened to make us do five repditive rounds? Nah but I need a distraction from saving Las Vegas from the Moon.

PS to those who do have borderlands! Good on ya! And I'm going through a heavy borderlands craving right now XP

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Meiling wiped her head clean of sweat, grateful that Mammon was still alive. She was interrupted as a bullet came whizzing towards her face by one of Mad Moxxy's Manic Minions, but she quickly snapped her wrist up ad caught the bullet between her index finger and middle finger, both of which were ridiculously strong. "Ohoho... Nice try." She said, tossing the bullet to the side. "Guys... We should get back to the fighting. It won't help Mammon a bit if we're all dead!" She said, as she barreled towards a few more minions, to beat the ever loving fuck out of them.

 

[BloodyThoughts]

Deadpool jumped into action- literally - landing on Meilings head, and smashing her jaw on the ground on accident. Of course, it didn't break anything, why? Because, shut up. ANYWHO! He shot an inflatable sheep at some minions. He slowly floated towards them...then missed.

"Missed?" Deadpool said, staring in awe, "I never miss the with sheep gun!" Meiling then pushed up, rocketed Deadpool to the ceiling. But, he just flipped around, and kicked off said ceiling, pulling out his duel katana's and cutting two minions in half...and landing on Meiling again, "WOO!"

Meiling pushed him off. He kicked up, "Hey! What's the deal? WHy the hell did you do that?" Deadpool asked, "I was kicking ass and being awesome while kicking ass!"

"YOU LANDED ON MY GOD DAMN SKULL!" Meiling shouted. A minion tried to jump her from behind. She stuck her fist out and punched it in the jaw.

"I don't see the problem here. You didn't get - seriously hurt! Just, y'know, a little hurt!" Deadpool calmly argued. He sheathed his katana and pulled out duel pistols. He pumped a minion that tried to jump him full of led.

Meiling responded by going to exploding-kick him in the head. He put away one gun, caught her by her ankle, shot some minions with his other pistol, and lightly tossed Meiling to the side, "HEY MINIONS! I HEARD BULLETS TASTE LIKE CHICKEN! TEST THIS FOR ME, WILL YA?" He took out his other pistol, crossed his arms, and gunned down some minions.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Meiling kept herself from falling, by kicking off the ground with her other leg and landing on both her feet. She grabbed her jaw and rubbed it. "You're just lucky my body isn't as frail as a human's..." She said, before she resumed her beating of the pathetic minions.

 

[Orinon]

Meanwhile in the illusionary world
"Ok how the hell did you survive that shot to the head, Rubi is a Custom 44, magnum, I've shot through steel, heck I broke an Ironclad shield, how is it that your face isn't a crater.'
"I'm an illusionist, do you really think I would stand in front of an armed hostile, completely defenseless. Heck the actual bullet passed through the platform."
Mammon pressed the attack but Moxxi had an usual reaction to the Pain
"What the hell your actually enjoying this, OK I quit this idea." the illusionary hell crumpled like dust, the dust then vanished entirely.
"Aw I was starting to have fun."
"Your nuts." stated Mammon, he needed a drink.
"Does anyone sell a good strawberry milk nearby?"

 

[Roamin11]

The Shrike went up to the biggest of the bandits and decked it over the head his chrome mic stand. "GOD DAMN I AM LOVING THIS SHIT!" Said the Shrike as he decked more and more bandits. Soon the Shrike took on his spiky form and began to impale some of them on his chest spike.

"Awww where did Mr. Tentacles go? I was just warming up! What do you mean 'the mic is on'? OH! WELL DONE HEROES!! Ummm... KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, MORE BADDIES FOR YOU TO KILL HORDE WAVE!!"

The Shrike then looked to the door where hundreds of goonies were pouring out of a gate.

"Shrike don't do it!" Yelled Meiling but it was too late and The Shrike had already dived into the mound of goons. Body parts, and blood began to fly in this way and that.

"It's raining body parts! Who do you love!?" Giggled Mad Moxxi as blood splattered all around her.

"Save some for MEEE" Whined Meiling looking at the Shrike dismember another grunt.

 

[Sgt_Jakeman214]

Mad Moxxi never got to reply to Mammon, as Miss Glados whacked her on the back of her with a fry pan she had found on the ground whilst making her way up to Mad Moxxi's lair. "HMPH! Everyone forgot about me and plunged into a free for all melee! I figured I'd come and get you after Meiling put you down Mammon, you do need someone to carry you after all. And with Mad Moxxi knocked unconcious, we can get out of here!" Miss Glados said as she picked up Mammon and walked back down to the arena. The pair were almost at the arena exit, having dodged numerous bad guys and their attempts to stop them, when Mad Moxxi appeared blocking the exit! "Wait! How did you?" Miss Glados asked. Mad Moxxi grinned. "It's my battledome! I KNOW ALL THE SHORTCUTS!" She cackled. Her arms full, Miss Glados could only call for help. Which she did.

"SHRIKE! DEADPOOL! MEILING! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

 

[BloodyThoughts]

Deadpool was gunning down a bunch of goonies one by one, "WOO! Still a shame that the inflatable sheep gun failed me, but hey! This is loads of fun to! HAHA! EAT MA BULLET RAIN, BITCHES!"

"SHRIKE! DEADPOOL! MEILING! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

"Hm, I think I will take up that cry for help." Deadpool said, stopping the fire. He put away his guns, and took out something much much more dangerous....A doorknob. He teleported over to Mad Moxxi and Miss Glados, "Alright, alright, what's going on here you two?"

"I think she's gonna kill me!" Miss Glados said.

"You know, I really wasn't, but I think you gave me the idea just now." Moxxi said.

"Wow. I think she you got you good Glados." Deadpool said, "Now...Chick who's apparently named Moxxi...If you just let the other person go, I won't have to unleash some frickin' fury with doorknobs cause I just kinda wanna."

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Meiling was beating people into unconsciousness with Single punch attacks and beautiful rains of multicolored bullets, when she heard two things. "HAHA! EAT MA BULLET RAIN, BITCHES!"
{i]Hey... Isn't that my job?[/i] She thought, before she was interrupted, again, by the next thing. "SHRIKE! DEADPOOL! MEILING! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" "That sounds like Miss Glados! I'M COMING!" She said. She kicked two minions in the teeth with a split in mid-air, and didn't return back to the ground. Instead, she flew off towards Miss Glados, Mammon, Deadpool and Moxxy. The first thing she noticed was Mammon was one of the ones bing threatened. This mad her mad. You wouldn't like Meiling when she gets mad. As she flew towards Moxxy, she heard Deadpool say something about beating her with doorknobs. The first thing she did was execute a spinning kick into the back of Mozzy's head, knocking her to the ground. "DEADPOOL! YOU WANNA HELP ME BEAT HER?"

 

[Isaac The Grape]

The time lock on the Zero-Tau pod expired. Isaac stepped out of the pod, drinking a glass bottle of Coke. Curly and Quote followed close behind.

"You know, normally I am a professional and and restrained killer. I get the job done and I get it done efficiently." Isaac said to the readers. "But this universe is all about letting lose." Isaac said finishing his Coke. "And so without further adue," Isaac said, breaking into a sprint, "I have decided TO UNLEASH TEH POWARRR OF CHARNWOOD LABOR CLUB FU! ROW ROW FIGHT!"

Isaac swung his empty Coke bottle into the face of a bandit then used the now jagged glass to tear though the man's jugular.

"YOU WANT GORY VIOLENCE! I'LL GIVE YOU GORY VIOLENCE!"

A bandit ran at Isaac wielding a knife in his right hand. With his left hand Isaac drove the bottle into the underside of the bandits right arm and delivered a knee to his stomach. The bandit doubled over, gasping for breath, blood spewing from his right arm. Mercifully the pain didn't last long as he blacked out after Isaac roundhouse-kicked him in the face.

"FUCK YEAH!" Yelled Isaac. "THIS IS GOOD, BUT IT'S MISSING ONE VERY VITAL INGREDIENT. AWESOME BACKGROUND MUSIC."

Isaac searched through his neural nanonic memorybanks for a suitable tune. He found one in the form of "Warriors Dance" by "The Prodigy".

 

[Roamin11]

Moxxi looked up sputtering and cursing at the silhouettes of Deadpool and Meiling. "Come on sugar, can't a girl just have a little girl on girl action?" She pleaded before getting fed Meiling?s boot. But then a loud metallic thud erupted from behind both Meiling and Deadpool.

"I got this" Said the form who was now approaching Moxxi she saw light reflecting off its body and two red lights shinning down on her. The form stood over her now, Moxxi only had one regret, her son scooter, STUPID STUPID WOMEN. "Get your ass back up"

"WHAAAAA" Cried out Meiling "You can't just do that! We were going to kill her!"

The Shrike shrugged "Yeah but there seems to be a big understanding on Moxxi's character so I'm going to adopt her as my secondary!" the Shrike then revived Moxxi whom then stood up.

"Don't worry honey with this big brute watching over me I'll be as cool as a cucumber..... Whatever one of those are"

"My point exactly, be good or I'll shoot you dead" said the Shrike as he transformed back to his human form. "Now please be a dear, everybody feels obligated to save the world, can we go back to the ocean temple?"

"Sure than sugar!" She said with a wink and pressed a button the stage curtains opened to reveal a door.

"Issac stop your badass-ery and lets go!" Said the Shrike waving his hands in the military sign for "wrap it up"

"Gottcha!" Said Issac whom then finished beating the teeth of the bandit's in with the butt of his gun, and made a beeline for the door.

And the Heroes once more were at the Ocean temple.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Meiling sighed and picked Mammon up into her arms again. "Okay... Let's see here... Em..." She looked around at the very first room. It seemed like this dungeon was going to be full of riddles. She didn't like riddles. "Gaaaah... How are we going to do this?"

 

[Roamin11]

"Easy" Said Miss Glados whom now had glasses on "there is a switch at the bottom of that tank of water down there "so-

"So we have to send someone down there to hold down the switch!" Said Deadpool delighted in figing out the chamber before Meiling could.

"Yes but there is a easier way!" Glados tried to say but was interupted agian by Meiling.

"Nonsense I can bend these bars!" to which meiling did her best to try to bend the bars but to no avail.

"Or we can just take that big stone block drop it into the tank of water to hold down the switch" Said Glados now flustered. "Shrike just throw the block on the switch so we can get out of here"

"Okiee dokiee" With that the Shrike picked up and threw the block twice his size in the water making a large splash it landed perfectly on top the switch holding it down.

Do Do Do Do DOO DOO DOO Do!

The door opened.

"LETS GO!" Said Moxxi into her Megaphone.

Spoiler: Mad Moxxi's Character Sheet

Mad Moxxi, Age underterminded

SWF Looking 4 STR

Other than her pair of .44's (AKA her boobs XD) she also has a gun named Rubi, and her Meaphone.

Really not much else to say other than she had 3 pervious husbands, aparntly looking for a forth, and may be a sadist! Fun all around!!!!

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Meiling quickly took off towards the door, holding Mammon in one hand. She was not amused to find a room with a ton of doors leading out of it, and the water flow made it impossible to return through them. "Hmmm... Seems like we'll just have to pick one and hope for the best?"

 

[Roamin11]

The Shrike groaned "I don't know I don't even remember this temple at all!" he sat and though a moment "What about boiling away all the water, or Mammon using his sneeze on paper thing in order to locate the correct path?"

"I don't need to sneeze though" Mumbled Mammon.

"Really Mammon? You're really going to do this? You're going to hold up the whole adventure just because you can't sneeze on cue? You're going to have the whole world end just because you can't sneeze?" The Shrike continued to goad Mammon till finally he let out a wet sneeze on his special paper.

"Here's your map" Said Mammon holding out the snotty paper to the Shrike grinning.

"Gee thanks" Said the Shrike holding it with two fingers, "I can't make head or tale of this you read it!"

Mammon sighed heavily "Just follow the flow till you see a small side tunnel on the right, then go down it and surface."

"Hold your breath and lets go!" Said the Shrike as he let himself get taken away by the current.

Wait for the path wait fot the path, waith for iiiitttt! THERE

The Shrike and the other heroes all ducked down the side passage and surfaced.

"Whats in there?" Asked Meiling whom wasn't phased by the fact she had been holding her breath for a minute and a half.

"Boss key mini boss" Said the Shrike opening the door. Inside was man frog thing whom began to throw a jelly like substance at the heroes.

"Really? Meiling Deadpool beat the crap out of him, he got jelly on my suit!"

 

[Isaac The Grape]

Isaac and the robots were following the others blindly when Quote remembered something.

"Pardon?" Said Isaac turning to Quote. "The...That's brilliant."

"Yes, the Map system. we can use that to, to, why do need to use it?" said Isaac.

"That's good point," said Isaac, "yes you could blast through the walls with your MFG."

"Well if you did that then it wouldn't be fun any more."

"Ok? Good" said Isaac.

"Aha," said Deadpool, "usage of 'Is That What You Said to communicate with Quote. Slight cannon deviation but I'll forgive you for that."