The Guy above me is a troll because...

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...for wanting bacon grease when he has a perfectly good sandwich right there.

[sub]So greedy.[/sub]

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...for being so demanding all the time.

[sub]Fine!
*Presents you with deep-fried bacon double cheeseburger and a side of bacon grease.*[/sub]

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...for being too clever for me to assassinate.

[sub]Well played, friend. Here, have a victory drink on me...[/sub]

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...for paying attention to the flaming beetle, which is obviously not important at all.

[sub]I have to go the bathroom. Here, hold this ticking box for me while I'm gone.[/sub]

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...for losing my precious box.

[sub]But I forgive you. Now, get in this car that definitely has not had its brakes cut.[/sub]

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...for trying to cut through the park, when really we should go through this dangerous back alley.

[sub]It's really much quicker. You go ahead, I'll catch up.[/sub]

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...for knowing what I'm up to, which is really just presenting him with a slice of this delicious cyanide and razor blade apple pie.

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...for worrying about having gas, when we're all manly men, above worrying about such things.

[sub]Now, eat the pie.[/sub]

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...for eating the whole pie. Now what will I snack upon?

[sub]Under his breath: Good, my evil plans are finally coming to fruition.[/sub]

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...for thinking I can eat that pie now that it's all dirty from being under the table.

[sub]No, no. I insist that you eat the whole thing.[/sub]