The Guy above me is a troll because...

[Neonbob]

...for using your own cat first.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For abusing your cat.

 

[Lambi]

For not abusing your dog instead.

 

[Neonbob]

...for debasing yourself.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For putting cats in bags.

@Lambi
I don't have a dog.

 

[Ren3004]

For not having a dog.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For wanting me to want a dog.

 

[Lambi]

For "Do you own a cat?"

 

[Neonbob]

...for not licking the wall when it tasted good.

 

[Lambi]

For not brushing the ceiling in search for the wicked.

 

[Neonbob]

...for hiding thieves in your underwear.

 

[Lambi]

For moving the goldfish in the heat of battle.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

@Neon
For "Well, actually it are ninjas."

@Lambi
For "See? Ninjas!"
I wouldn't call it owning, but there's a cat that spends a lot of time in my house.

 

[Neonbob]

...for not expressing yourself more successfully.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For overloading the pressure field barrier.

 

[Neonbob]

...for creating a warp field in your basement.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For "Well, actually, I didn't have a basement, so I created a warp field in which I created a basement."

 

[Neonbob]

...for imprinting a dog with half of your memories.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For "Well, actually, that dog couldn't even handle 1% of my memories, it died."

 

[Neonbob]

...for running over people with a tank's soft treads.