The lies you were told as a child.

[Gerazzi]

That mum and dad love me unconditionally.

That married people stay married forever. (my parents are going through a divorce)

That I will get a girlfriend soon. (more like a guess on this one, but probably accurate seeing as I'm misanthropic)

Other than that, Santa

 

[Maileigh]

My mum used to tell me that if I acted up and threw temper tantrums as a child that I'd grow horns. And that they'd curl, bleed then go back in; hurting even more.
That stuff traumatized me! Especially when I touched my head and felt two bumps on either side, also known as the natural shape of my skull, I screamed then ran into my room and didn't talk for a week.

Holy Crap, my mum has a screwed-up mind!

 

[furnatic]

"Keep touching it and it'll fall off."

 

[Xan Krieger]

Why is there so much Christianity bashing in this thread? It hasn't been proven one way or the other. Just because something sounds absurd to some people doesn't mean it'll never happen (or in this case be proven true). Let us not forget that people used to say that heavier then air vehicles carrying people will never fly, the car will never replace the horse, and we all know the Titanic was unsinkable. Until it gets proven either true or false we cannot make a correct judgement as to whether or not it is a lie.

edit: made one spelling error

 

[Sewer Rat]

If you are good all year, then a fat bastard will come down the chimney and leave some crap under a giant tree. Not only does this christmas tradition have major pagan undertones, but it is also incredibly creepy to think that this guy spends his time watching little kids sleep... He knows when you are sleeping... indeed...

 

[Insomniaku]

That if you cross your eyes, they can get stuck... maybe it's true but my parents had no idea if it was or not.

 

[MercenaryCanary]

They once showed it actually happening in a cartoon once, if anyone can remember. It made me scared!

Good old rugrats.

I was told wag was the worst possible swear imaginable.

I loved that show! What did they do with it?

 

[Blood_Lined]

This is obviously going to be a controversial thread. I hate to pour gas onto the flame but IN MY OPINION, global warming is the biggest sac of crap I've ever heard in my life.
and as for Christianity, I believe it, if you dont, okay and if you do, okay as well, thats all there should be to it.

 

[EeveeElectro]

As it's Easter on Sunday, this reminded me...
The cat jumped on my face at night and scratched me, next day my sister said it happened to her too and it was the Easter bunny who did it.

 

[Evil_Valentine_Marshmallow]

"Treat others how you would like to be treated"

cockamammy

 

[Hatredcopter]

From when I was 2 till I was about 6, my mom had me convinced that I was born with a pig's tail.

 

[thiosk]

If you eat your asparagus, it will make your dingus grow bigger.

I was far too young to know why a large dingus was desirable, but needless to say, I cleaned my plate of all asparagine particles, and then dove to the pot for more.

 

[dthvirus]

The race cars printed with signs such as Coca-Cola or McDonalds. I thought they ran on their respective food product.

Also, religion, the old watermelon/apple seed one, and the "If your cross your eyes, you'll get stuck like that forever." one.

 

[Spleenbag]

That high school is fun
(Freshman this year)
IT IS A LIE!

I'm a freshman as well and was told the same thing. All lies!

 

[Barky13]

"I didn't mean to leave you there. I didn't see you." I was holding on to the car door and banging the window.

 

[commit97]

You get out of this life what you put in, and good thing only happen to good people (¬_¬ cold but true!)

Wow, this is a popular thread

 

[EeveeElectro]

"If you pick dandelions, you'll piss the bed"

It's not true is it?

And I used to have a social worker called Sonia who used to take me out every other weekend and talk to me about things because I was a bit... "not all there" as a kid. Anyway, she had a notebook with a ribbon as a bookmark and she told me the ribbon grew.
My friend had a ribbon on her notebook in English the other day, and I asked if hers grew.
She went really quiet and looked a bit confused.

 

[Tri Force95]

that mummy loves me.........

That sucks man.
As has already been said, the watermelon seed lie. Watching that cartoon where the watermelon grew out of the guys stomach scared me so shitless I didn't eat watermelon again for years.
Another lie I believed was that you could talk to animals and they would understand you.

Technically, animals may understand you. I mean, take a dog for example, it learns your commands, which is a basic understanding of the language you use when talking to it.

 

[teutonicman]

We love you.
You hand nothing to do with your mother and I's breaking up.



Nah I'm just screwin around.