The most horrific thing that has happened to your nobler parts
- Thread starter Jonluw
- Start date
Recommended Videos
I think childbirth is far more painful than a kick in the groin, however, I totally agree that a kick in the groin is the worse experience. A kick in the groin doesn't lead to a much wanted kid.Grouchy Imp said:
OT: I once balance walked on a wooden fence, think I was about 10 years old. Then I slipped and landed.... awkwardly. Hurt like hell. Fortunately, if you're a girl, there's not much damage that can be done down there by falling.
One of my friends is some kind of testicle-seeking missile. Every time he and I are in the same room together for more than 15 minutes or so, something bad's going to happen downstairs. For example...
My little circle of friends was watching a movie once, and this guy turns to talk to someone as he sits down beside me. Elbow, meet mah babies.
One time, at the lake, people were throwing clumps of mud at each other. One from testyman goes rogue and winds up between my legs. I spent the next half hour lying on the beach, recuperating.
We went ice-skating once and the usual culprit accidentally bumped into me. I'm not good on ice-skates, so I fell. SOMEHOW, I hit my nuts on the ice. To this day, I'm still confused as to how that could possibly happen.
My little circle of friends was watching a movie once, and this guy turns to talk to someone as he sits down beside me. Elbow, meet mah babies.
One time, at the lake, people were throwing clumps of mud at each other. One from testyman goes rogue and winds up between my legs. I spent the next half hour lying on the beach, recuperating.
We went ice-skating once and the usual culprit accidentally bumped into me. I'm not good on ice-skates, so I fell. SOMEHOW, I hit my nuts on the ice. To this day, I'm still confused as to how that could possibly happen.
When I was little some kid was running around pinching other kids. He started running at me and I swatted his arm away but in the wrong direction. Next thing I know I'm on the ground crying. Yes, thats right he pinched my bangers and mash hard enough to leave a bruise through a pair of jeans.
I'm trying to think about it but I don't think it's ever happened to me.
It's not because of luck or anything but it's because my testes aren't in the right place. Actually I'm not sure where they are...I should see a doctor about that shouldn't I?
They aren't in the dangly area that's for sure, since I've been kicked and kneed down there and it's not hurt the way it should. Because of that I've ended up with a slightly morbid curiosity of what it has to feel like.
It's not because of luck or anything but it's because my testes aren't in the right place. Actually I'm not sure where they are...I should see a doctor about that shouldn't I?
They aren't in the dangly area that's for sure, since I've been kicked and kneed down there and it's not hurt the way it should. Because of that I've ended up with a slightly morbid curiosity of what it has to feel like.
Had a soccer ball that I swear was whistling at 40+ mph hit me square in that rather tender area. Got up and played again a minute later though, so I guess it wasn't that bad. Hey, I got off lucky.
Well, I've had the usual rounds of getting kicked, nutchecked, and so on, but there are two incidents that stand out. The first is a fairly traditional example of pain putting me into a fetal position. some time in either my senior or junior year of highschool, I hand stitched a sand filled hacky sack, because the things were impossible to find where I lived, and I wasn't about to pay $10 or more for a bag of sand from the internet. well, it was and still is a great hacky sack. It's roughly the size of a golfball, which is standard for freestyle bags, and it's floppy enough that stalling is actually possible, without being so floppy that it's not round. One day, when it had been raining, I had a nice circle going with the hacky sack. It laned in a puddle, which didn't stop us from playing with it, but did increase the weight by an order of magnitude. Well, the sack gets kicked to this one guy who kicks it up a few times, and then roundhouse kicks the sack...
I was curled up in a fetal position for quite a while, and it remains to this day the worst blunt testicular trauma I've ever experienced. But that's not the worst thing that ever happened to my genitals.
At this point, your probably wondering what could possibly be worse than having a golfball sized implement smashed against your balls at nearly the speed of sound. Well, it's simple; being bitten on the balls by a mosquito. One night several years ago, I went to bed with a mosquito somewhere in the room. During the course of the night, the bloody thing managed to crawl up my shorts and bite me right on the balls. If you think your balls itch normally, try having a mosquito bite them. Or better yet, don't. It itched for days, and of course I managed to break the skin scratching it, so that had to heal too. Moral of the story: always make sure that there is no way for any mosquitoes in the area to get to your balls, before you go to bed. You'll thank yourself later.
right into mine.
I was curled up in a fetal position for quite a while, and it remains to this day the worst blunt testicular trauma I've ever experienced. But that's not the worst thing that ever happened to my genitals.
At this point, your probably wondering what could possibly be worse than having a golfball sized implement smashed against your balls at nearly the speed of sound. Well, it's simple; being bitten on the balls by a mosquito. One night several years ago, I went to bed with a mosquito somewhere in the room. During the course of the night, the bloody thing managed to crawl up my shorts and bite me right on the balls. If you think your balls itch normally, try having a mosquito bite them. Or better yet, don't. It itched for days, and of course I managed to break the skin scratching it, so that had to heal too. Moral of the story: always make sure that there is no way for any mosquitoes in the area to get to your balls, before you go to bed. You'll thank yourself later.
played dodge ball in P.E. and one of the hard throwers threw it and it hit me square in the jewels. I sat out the rest of the game
Jumping from Sky Tower in Auckland. I know those harnesses are there to keep you alive, but couldn't they be better designed?
Apart from that, I've been incredibly lucky on this one. In the last four years, any hard, fast moving object directed at my crotch, as either struck too high, or I was able to hip-check it away, preventing them from doing any horrible damage.
Apart from that, I've been incredibly lucky on this one. In the last four years, any hard, fast moving object directed at my crotch, as either struck too high, or I was able to hip-check it away, preventing them from doing any horrible damage.