Interesting article. On the point of a barrier being raised between gamers and non-gamers, I have a bit of a theory on why this happens. Bear with me on this.
I don't table top. I would like to. Some day. But nobody around me is interested, and I don't know anybody who I would trust being a DM. I live in a small rural town, and can't drive(the nearest city is 40 minutes by car).
I do play a lot of video games though. And I spend a lot of time on the internet, reaserching into various topics that interest me, all of them considerably 'nerdy'.
But now that you see where I am coming from, back to my point: why do we, as gamers, put up a barrier to protect us from non gamers? I think it is simple: We were here first.
To put that in perspective:
I started playing video games when I was six(I'm in Highschool now) or something like that. I was damn young. My first consol was an N64, so back in the 90's. Back when gaming wasn't exactly mainstream.
Now, before something is mainstream, people get make fun of for enjoying it. Take, for example, your wife, who called you out on wanting to play D&D. It's other people who raise the barrier first, making gamers outcasts. But then once something becomes popular, all these people who used to call you out for it suddenly want a slice of the pie, and all you can really say is "fuck off, I was here before it was 'cool'."
For example, I know a bunch of "cool" kids who sit and talk about COD every morning. And I can really say is "Really? Really? You assholes chirp people for this shit like what? Five years ago? Go fuck yourself". Of course, I never really say that, because I don't want to get my ass kicked.
I guess what I'm saying is that when it is a fringe hobby, the barrier is put in place. When it is mainstream, the grudge holds, and the barrier (trys) to stay up.
Then the other half of it is that it is not fair. I know this guy, who on the surface, seems like a "popular" person. He dates the hot girls, he acts dumb, ect. Then I come to find out, last semester that is, that he collects the Games Workshop LotR minatures. Or he used to. This kind of pissed me off. I get constantly shot down by girls, so I come to terms with it by taking up nerdy hobbies. But if all these people getting laid start taking up the hobbies, and still get the girls, then where am I?
Btw, people say I'm funny, and I try to do the right thing, and I shower everyday. I'm not a loser is the point I'm making.