The Sydney Funnel Web: Unfair

[Lost Punk]

As hilarious as the opening post is, for the sake of people not running around jumping on spiders for no reason it should be known that not a single death has occurred from Funnel Web Spiders since an antivenom was invented in 1982. Also, even snake deaths are relatively uncommon nowadays for the same reason: antivenom. Sorry overseas visitors, but the fauna of Australia is really not that scary. I've lived here all 27 years of life and haven't died once, and I work in the bush, 5 days a week, encountering a myriad of snakes and spiders.

I found a colony of funnel webs yesterday and spent 20 minutes tapping a stick on their holes so they would run out and attack them. Spiders are fun, not scary! Well theoretically, they sure don't look pleasant.

Here's the colony I found yesterday:

And one hanging out in its hole:

 

[clutch-monkey]

FYI the greatest direct loss of life to any single species is the saltwater crocodile; in WW2, the japanese garrison of 1000 men abandoned their positions on Ramree island off burma, making their way to the mainland across 17km (iirc) of swamp and marsh.

19 survived. NINETEEN. fuck, if that was me, i'd surrender on the spot, and buy bulk lottery tickets.

edit: i should mention they can swim up to the riverbank unseen, then launch themselves 9 fucking metres up the riverbank to grab people who think they are a 'safe' distance away from the water.

 

[Radelaide]

Awwww! Look at it! Its more cute than a box filled with kittens!

Those poor, poor, ugly kittens...

OT: Spiders? *shudder* But, I'm allowed to scream like a girl since I am... <color=magenta>a girl.

 

[Purple Shrimp]

Come live in Canberra you dummy

 

[SirDeadly]

You forgot the most deadly creature in Australia, the deadly DROP BEAR!!!

 

[Brad Shepard]

I think i just shit myself...

I know for a fucking fact im going to have nightmares tonight after reading this, and i knew it was going to be bad, but i couldent stop reading because i was laughing all throughout the artical.

but damnit, why is there so much poison in Australia? yes, i get it, it has a lot of bad spots, but why so much poison?! Snakes, spiders, fish, TREES?! (I hate spiders so much...)

 

[clutch-monkey]

It is a god damned spider. STEP ON IT. Buy some fucking raid. Stop being such a god damned pussy.

don't listen to this guy, their blood is clearly radioactive

[http://img535.imageshack.us/i/img3861v.jpg/]

[http://img189.imageshack.us/i/img3864kc.jpg/]

 

[slowpoke999]

I lived in Sydney and Live in Queensland now, I also Almost got hit by a jumping spider after I provoked it with a broom, spiders do not scare me in the least, you just have to not piss them off and back off slowly.

And some spiders are cute

Aww i just wanna hug it

I'm more scared of the birds in this country, I have to make detours when walking home if there's a magpie or plover, because one time a magpie was swooping me for 300 metres, they are aggressive as fuck.

These things however:

If you don't know what this muthafucka is and you happen to come across one, you will not survive because you will only start running when it is too late, being fucking serious you see this blue fucker you ran like your life depended on it.

Edit:for those who think they're tough:

 

[clutch-monkey]

These things however:
If you don't know what this muthafucka is and you happen to come across one, you will not survive because you will only start running when it is too late, being fucking serious you see this blue fucker you ran like your life depended on it.

i swear they are direct fuckign descendants of velociraptors. and in the thick rainforest you encounter them in, they WILL outrun you.

[http://img689.imageshack.us/i/cassowaryattack2753549.jpg/]

 

[Alpha Centauri]

And this is why I am NEVER going to Ausrailia, I'll take Canadian Winter over your wildlife any day. This also remindes me of a Quote.

"Austrailia, the place where everything wants to kill you. No, serriously everything"

 

[clutch-monkey]

And this is why I am NEVER going to Ausrailia, I'll take Canadian Winter over your wildlife any day. This also remindes me of a Quote.

"Austrailia, the place where everything wants to kill you. No, serriously everything"

pussy

 

[Benjeezy]

My God.

My arachnophobia was crippling before, but NOW...

My God. That's horrifying.

 

[Steppin Razor]

What can I say, our Australian wildlife is awesome. Sydney Funnel Webs aren't all that bad though. Sure they're scary looking bastards and getting bitten by one would be rather unpleasant, but they're easily taken care of by the might of our family dog - the highly feared and vicious miniature schnauzer. Bloody evil little thing has chased a few around the house playing with them like they're toys and tearing their legs off.

 

[clutch-monkey]

i don't mind reptiles, there's carpet python i've called rupert who stops by every now and then

[http://img69.imageshack.us/i/p1010027ls9.jpg/]

[http://img215.imageshack.us/i/picture008jo.jpg/]

and dingo's are okay to work with

[http://img153.imageshack.us/i/64962143063705505518105.jpg/]

[http://img148.imageshack.us/i/64962143063605505518105.jpg/]
i don't care about spiders, but you know what really gives me the creeps? cane toads. fuck. i hate the way they hop, how they look. and i live in queensland so it's not like i don't see them all the time. goddamnit.
hit them with golf clubs? pour detol on them? fuck getting that close. these toxic, hopping fuck bags are the sole fucking reason for my purchase of a high powered air rifle.

 

[Gildan Bladeborn]

This thread is both hilarious and simultaneously terrifying. Also it reminds me of something I read recently...

Oh right, the Cracked article on Australia [http://www.cracked.com/funny-163-australia/]. I love the Thunderdome analogy towards the end, heh.

My favorite part of Pratchet's excellent The Last Continent was the bit where Death requested a book on the dangerous animals of XXXX (or Four Ecks, which is clearly a parody of Australia) only to be completely buried by an avalanche of volumes on the subject, while asking for a book on the non-dangerous animals of XXXX produced a single sheet of paper that said "some of the sheep".

 

[clutch-monkey]

This thread is both hilarious and simultaneously terrifying. Also it reminds me of something I read recently...

Oh right, the Cracked article on Australia [http://www.cracked.com/funny-163-australia/]. I love the Thunderdome analogy towards the end, heh.

My favorite part of Pratchet's excellent The Last Continent was the bit where Death requested a book on the dangerous animals of XXXX (or Four Ecks, which is clearly a parody of Australia) only to be completely buried by an avalanche of volumes on the subject, while asking for a book on the non-dangerous animals of XXXX produced a single sheet of paper that said "some of the sheep".

LOL
i still wish the thylacine hadn't been hunted to extinction

 

[Infinatex]

I assume thats your R8 in the background! Nice!

 

[clutch-monkey]

I assume thats your R8 in the background! Nice!

i wish, belongs to my uncle haha

 

[Infinatex]

i wish, belongs to my uncle haha

Oh well, it's still nice to look at He's brave, driving it on unsealed road like that!